GRE AWA Issue Practice Feedback

[leighfritz]

Hi All! I'm hoping to get some feedback on this practice essay from the issue topic section of the GRE. Looking for a few (or many) people who are willing to grade this against the ETS GRE AWA rubric (copied below). Thanks!

Prompt: 

Essay Response:

 

Essay Grading Rubric:

Score 6 Outstanding

In addressing the specific task directions, a 6 response presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the issue and conveys meaning skillfully.

A typical response in this category:

• articulates a clear and insightful position on the issue in accordance with the assigned task
• develops the position fully with compelling reasons and/or persuasive examples
• sustains a well-focused, well-organized analysis, connecting ideas logically
• conveys ideas fluently and precisely, using effective vocabulary and sentence variety
• demonstrates superior facility with the conventions of standard written English (i.e., grammar, usage and mechanics), but may have minor errors

Score 5 Strong

In addressing the specific task directions, a 5 response presents a generally thoughtful, well-developed analysis of the issue and conveys meaning clearly.

A typical response in this category:

• presents a clear and well-considered position on the issue in accordance with the assigned task
• develops the position with logically sound reasons and/or well-chosen examples
• is focused and generally well organized, connecting ideas appropriately
• conveys ideas clearly and well, using appropriate vocabulary and sentence variety
• demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English, but may have minor errors

Score 4 Adequate

In addressing the specific task directions, a 4 response presents a competent analysis of the issue and conveys meaning with acceptable clarity.

A typical response in this category:

• presents a clear position on the issue in accordance with the assigned task
• develops the position with relevant reasons and/or examples
• is adequately focused and organized
• demonstrates sufficient control of language to express ideas with acceptable clarity
• generally demonstrates control of the conventions of standard written English, but may have some errors

Score 3 Limited

A 3 response demonstrates some competence in addressing the specific task directions, in analyzing the issue and in conveying meaning, but is obviously flawed.

A typical response in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

• is vague or limited in addressing the specific task directions and in presenting or developing a position on the issue or both
• is weak in the use of relevant reasons or examples or relies largely on unsupported claims
• is limited in focus and/or organization
• has problems in language and sentence structure that result in a lack of clarity
• contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage or mechanics that can interfere with meaning

Score 2 Seriously Flawed

A 2 response largely disregards the specific task directions and/or demonstrates serious weaknesses in analytical writing.

A typical response in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

• is unclear or seriously limited in addressing the specific task directions and in presenting or developing a position on the issue or both
• provides few, if any, relevant reasons or examples in support of its claims
• is poorly focused and/or poorly organized
• has serious problems in language and sentence structure that frequently interfere with meaning
• contains serious errors in grammar, usage or mechanics that frequently obscure meaning

Score 1 Fundamentally Deficient

A 1 response demonstrates fundamental deficiencies in analytical writing.

A typical response in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics:

• provides little or no evidence of understanding the issue
• provides little or no evidence of the ability to develop an organized response (e.g., is disorganized and/or extremely brief)
• has severe problems in language and sentence structure that persistently interfere with meaning
• contains pervasive errors in grammar, usage or mechanics that result in incoherence

Score 0

Off topic (i.e., provides no evidence of an attempt to address the assigned topic), is in a foreign language, merely copies the topic, consists of only keystroke characters or is illegible or nonverbal.

Score NS

The essay response is blank.