Inappropriate question?

[zcn]

I could really use a little advice on this one. I applied to schools with my boyfriend of several years, who is an undergrad transfer student in the sciences. So far, he's been accepted to a CSU, and I've been accepted to a UC that is 80 miles away. He's applied to the same UC, and I think he's an excellent candidate, but he may not hear about the admission decision until the END of April--and I'm expected to decide by April 15th.

Is there any appropriate way for me to tell my program that I'm having trouble making this decision without that information? I don't want to look stupid, and somehow I feel like bringing up my "boyfriend" is a guaranteed way to look less academic and more airheaded. I'll probably end up going to this UC anyway, and just commuting if I have to, but it would make the situation significantly less stressful in the meantime.

[blankslate]

I don't think there is harm in asking. I don't think that having a significant other and caring about whether your schooling conflicts with his makes you air-headed, if anything you're careful and considerate of the actions you're taking.

Explain the situation (that you are most likely going to this university either way, however you are asking for an extension to make the situation less stressful). Obviously they don't need to accept your request, but if they really cared to keep you I don't think they'd force your hand unless they had extremely strong reasons.

[sciencegal]

You don't always need to give a specific reason when asking for an extension. You could politely request an extension so you have 2 additional weeks to weigh your options, work out plans, etc.

That said, it is very common for us to hear from prospective students that they have a significant other / "two-body problem" and that factors into their decision. Or "family considerations" if you consider your boyfriend family. So you wouldn't stick out if you gave this as a reason.

I personally don't want faculty to know me foremost as someone who "has a significant other" so I don't usually mention it in academic settings and am more vague unless I know them. This is probably over cautious, though, as by the time you attend many will have forgotten you even asked for an extension let alone the reason.

[TryingAgain]

I am in the same situation and mentioned to my prospective schools that my decision hinges upon my partner's acceptance, and vice versa. We have had very positive responses and might now wind up at schools together. Go ahead and ask. It can't hurt.

[zcn]

Thank you, everyone, for the help! I think it's easy for me (and probably a lot of other pre-grads) to blow conversations/hitches/etc. out of proportion.

TryingAgain: What do you mean by "positive responses"? Like, they're taking it into consideration in regards to your partner's admission? Or just that they're supportive in general?