UW-Madison Letters Out?!

[MissingVandyCandy]

So I've heard from someone on the board that UW-Madison has sent out letters. This individual's was a rejection (I am sure mine is coming). Has anyone else heard from UW. If you could post the decision (Y/N), how and when you heard, and where you are located... that would be great. Thanks everyone.

[MissingVandyCandy]

And ladies and gentlemen I get the distinct privilege to reply to my own post to inform our small forum that I too got my rejection from 110 North Hall...This is not a proposition that recommends itself... Damn and I thought I had a shot there and it was one of my top 4 choices. Well, 7 life lines left. Regis? Regis? I'd like to use a lifeline at UT-Austin...

[flyingwalrus]

Same here.

[MissingVandyCandy]

What UW-Madison letter actually said:

Our admissions committee has now completed its work for the 2008 entering class. We faced many difficult choices blah blah blah yawn. Rejected.

What they ought to have said (would have been much funnier).

Dear. MVC,

We at the University of Wisconsin find your dislike of picnics and rampant sexism evidenced by the nostalgia in your user name for Tri Delts and long coed legs abhorrent. In Madison, your Hitchens pandering neo-conservative war mongering will be about as welcome here as in Berkeley sans warm weather. We of course know why you applied to Wisconsin. We're one of the nation's oldest most prestigious Political Science programs, and from your avatar on thegradecafe we knew the only thing that gets you off is exclusivity. And while we have plenty of that we don't have the Vanderbilt Co-eds to truly make youhappy. Sweat pants and unshaven legs (among other things that our crunchy female crowd adores) probably just won't give you much of a social life.

This is of course always a painstaking process for us. We have to read through your manure of an essay and the 40 pages you pdf'd that you call a writing sample that had the methodological gravity of Jon Stewart's hard-hitting political analysis. You think you have it bad? Please. The departmental secretary's typewriter had a malfunction worse than Janet Jackson's bustier which caused us to have to make a run to kinkos to make sure your rejection prose was centered on only the finest grad laboratory scratch paper. We digress.

You truly want to know the reason you were not admitted? Do you really? Can you handle the truth? Ok, the truth is soldier this entire game's a crapshoot. No not some porno fetish for pooping ala Team America World Police. Get your mind out of the gutter you pervert. By crapshoot I mean that the state legislature just defunded the shit out of the law and courts faculty. We lost Bert Kritzer to retirement. There simply aren't enough historical law and courts faculty for you to get excited about enough to take your trousers off and we wouldn't be able to get our requisite amount of slavery er service out of you with such a lack of alignment. Them's the brakes kid. Just remember, we'd be happy to take your 70 bucks again next year, so long as you get it to us by November and we'll be sure to get that one paragraph rejection back to you with "all deliberate speed." In fact, I just asked our secretary to save your letter as MVCRejection 2009. We'll be sure to be more prompt next year.

Yours,

Barry "Heavy" Burden

Associate Chair

Director of Graduate Studies

P.S. Do you remember that scene in Caddyshack when Judge Smails' nephew Chuck Shick asks protagonist Danny Noonan, "Are you going to Haaarvard too." You like Danny will now be able to reply in kind, "Um no no, actually St. Copias of Northern," umm "Where..."

[silencio1982]

Yours,

Barry "Heavy" Burden

Associate Chair

Director of Graduate Studies

This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that Boooooo to U-W! Ah well.