Okay to bring a friend at a visit?

[RCE2624]

Okay, so I have a visit scheduled at a school that i've been accepted to but w/o funding. Is it okay to bring a friend along on my visit?

[so47]

Most people do not bring any one on a visit, though I have heard some people on here talk about bringing a spouse, etc because obviously this type of decision involves their significant other. I went on one visit where someone brought their sister, but that was because the prospective is in the Army and was back from deployment solely for the grad school visits.

What is the reason for you to bring the friend? Is it just for company, or are they someone important in your life you feel like you can't make this decision without? If it's only for company, I would advise against it, because one of the main goals of a visit to a grad school is to interact with the other students and faculty and see how you fit with them. If you bring a friend, you may be less disposed to chat with them in favor of just hanging with your friend so they don't feel left out. If there is a stronger reason, like this friend is moving with you, etc, then maybe it would be okay to bring them.

Either way, if you DO choose to bring a friend, significant other, family member, etc, you ABSOLUTELY have to ask permission of the department. They pay for a lot of things for these visit weekends, like food, hotel, events, and they may have to pay for your friend, so you have to be sure they are okay with that.

[prolixity]

Okay, so I have a visit scheduled at a school that i've been accepted to but w/o funding. Is it okay to bring a friend along on my visit?

I brought my wife with me on a few visits. I didn't bring her on the visit part itself, of course, but I did bring her to the open bar after the visit...

The point of the visit is to interact with the other students and faculty.. not to cloister yourself away in an already established social bubble.

[Jae B.]

Okay, so I have a visit scheduled at a school that i've been accepted to but w/o funding. Is it okay to bring a friend along on my visit?

It's okay if...

1. You bring them gracefully and don't seem awkward or uncomfortable about introducing them
2. They don't take a good seat at an event away from an admitted student, or the last flier, etc.
3. They let you concentrate on talking with other people and don't need much attention
4. You don't have them dine on the school's buck unless they're invited to do so

I've seen people bring friends pretty gracefully in the past.

[RCE2624]

Most people do not bring any one on a visit, though I have heard some people on here talk about bringing a spouse, etc because obviously this type of decision involves their significant other. I went on one visit where someone brought their sister, but that was because the prospective is in the Army and was back from deployment solely for the grad school visits.

What is the reason for you to bring the friend? Is it just for company, or are they someone important in your life you feel like you can't make this decision without? If it's only for company, I would advise against it, because one of the main goals of a visit to a grad school is to interact with the other students and faculty and see how you fit with them. If you bring a friend, you may be less disposed to chat with them in favor of just hanging with your friend so they don't feel left out. If there is a stronger reason, like this friend is moving with you, etc, then maybe it would be okay to bring them.

Either way, if you DO choose to bring a friend, significant other, family member, etc, you ABSOLUTELY have to ask permission of the department. They pay for a lot of things for these visit weekends, like food, hotel, events, and they may have to pay for your friend, so you have to be sure they are okay with that.

Well, this friend is my boyfriend of four years. And yes, he will be moving with me. What if the department is not paying for any of my expenses, which they are not. BTY, thanks for your perspective.

[RCE2624]

It's okay if...

1. You bring them gracefully and don't seem awkward or uncomfortable about introducing them
2. They don't take a good seat at an event away from an admitted student, or the last flier, etc.
3. They let you concentrate on talking with other people and don't need much attention
4. You don't have them dine on the school's buck unless they're invited to do so

I've seen people bring friends pretty gracefully in the past.

Thanks, for the advice.

[rooster34]

I went with my girlfriend when she went on a visit. For the most part, it was to help with the drive. The school was going to pay for the room and gas regardless of whether or not I tagged along and she wanted some help with the 8 hour drive. The day of her visit, she spent all day on campus while I did other things (sat in the hotel room and graded papers, walked around the campus, and explored the surrounding town.) Both she and I would have found it odd for me to accompany her on campus. So, I say take your boyfriend but keep him out of the school related activities unless the school says otherwise.

[fuzzylogician]

It should be OK to bring your boyfriend with you. If the department is paying for your accommodations/transportation, make sure you offer to pay for your boyfriend's costs yourself. Some events are guest-friendly - like parties, city/campus tours or even a night out with the graduate students (but always ask if it's OK to bring a friend!). I think it's awkward, not to mention unnecessary, to bring your boyfriend to meetings or interviews. You'll make a bad impression, and your boyfriend will be out of place. He can explore the city on his own or find something else to do while you're doing the formal parts of the visit.

[Jae B.]

Thanks, for the advice.

Welcome! It's definitely a good idea to bring your boyfriend and hear how he likes the area. Good luck!