Help with opening paragraph

[nalala]

Hi. Long time lurker here.

I was wondering if any of you could take a look at my first paragraph to tell me if it is strong enough or if I need to modify it. I need a pretty strong statement of purpose to get into an IR policy program.

I would post it on here, but I am concerned with plagiarism checks that could be conducted by the school I am applying to.

 

[Ternwild]

That's fair.  Have you followed the guidelines for writing an SOP that are written on the forums?

[nalala]

Thank you for your response.

I have. I think I have read pretty much all the posts that list any sort of guidance. Some say to start with something personal, some say to avoid at all cost. At this point, I feel more confused about it than when I started.