Please grade my arguement essay and provide suggestions

[Hazy_Lights]

prompt:

Downtown Zurzi is becoming increasingly congested with traffic, increasing commuting time for those who work downtown or near downtown. The nearby city of Loft was faced with the same problem several years ago and implemented a small weekly tax for driving one's car downtown. Downtown traffic almost immediately subsided in Loft and the local government raised much-needed money for fixing roads elsewhere. Obviously, This plan should be implemented in Zurzi in order to solve the brewing traffic congestion problem.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

RESPONSE

The author has proposed levying a small weekly tax on all cars going to downtown Zurzi to reduce traffic congestion. This suggestion is copied from a tactic used in
nearby city of Loft, where traffic congestion almost become negligible, as soon as this idea was implemented. The idea perhaps might yield similar results in Downtown Zurzi, but the 
evidence provided by the author is too less to say that with certainty. 
All that is mentioned in the arguement is that Downtown Zurzi has traffic congestion. No explanation is provided for why Zurzi is so congested. One can easily imagine various reasons for the traffic congestion. Perhaps Downtown Zurzi is where all the convenience stores, grocery stores, medical stores are located for the nearby public. The neighbourhood in vicinity of downtown have no such stores. In this case, tax or not, a person has to travel to downtown to get his daily supplies. The trips might become less infrequent, but a drastic drop is unlikely. Another possible reason for so much traffic through Zurzi could be because of Downtown Zurzi lying in the shortest path of joining two major commute heavy destinations. Taxation might prompt people to use alternate longer routes, because now, travelling through Zurzi becomes costlier.
Another factor on which no discussion has been done by the author is what kind of traffic is Downtown Zurzi even facing. It could entirely be the case that Zurzi was not facing such heavy car traffic. The traffic might be due to transportation trucks being allowed through Downtown route, or schools getting over at that time and traffic could be of school buses plyingout of Downtown. Taxation of cars being driven into Downtown makes no sense in such a case, nor does it solve the congestion problem.
Also, detailed analysis of why this plan and how it worked for Loft might help give us a better insight. Loft could have a one possible route entry and one possible route exit, making taxation easy for the local government. What kind of connectivity Downtown Zurzi has needs to be studied. In the event it has multiple possible entries and exits, the cost incurred just to setup a system for tax collection might prove costlier than taxes collected. 
In conclusion, while Downtown Zurzi could get rid of its traffic congestion entirely by following the plan of it's neighbouring city, a detailed analysis of the all the above mentioned factors might help give a better and more confident insight helping make a much more concrete decision whose result will align with what the desirable outcome. 

Edited August 17, 2019 by Hazy_Lights