Help/Feedback on an outreach program

[samman1994]

Hello everyone,

Some grad students at my university are creating an outreach program where they go to low funded schools and try to expose students there to science via workshops and lectures. And from there, bring a select few to the university and spend a few weeks in the lab. They also wanted to create a resource where these students could reach out for help and advice (very much like gradcafe). 

I had a slightly different idea, I wanted to create a branch of this program that focused more on getting these students jobs in science. The truth is, most undergrads are overqualified for entry level positions in QC and manufacturing. These jobs mostly require following protocol, and the skills they require A) most undergrads lack and B ) are easily acquired working the job. There are a few very crucial skills (i.e. pipetting, GMP/FDA regulations, notebook keeping, dilution factors, analytical chemistry basics), that I think could easily be taught over a summer in a 2 to 3 week workshop. This program would also include resume building and interviewing skills (focus on scientific resumes). 

I am in the process of trying to reach out to some of the non-profits in the area, and some biotech cluster groups (e.g. like launchbio), organizations that have access to various higher ups in the companies. My goal is to try and get into contact with these individuals and find out A) Would they hire an applicant with a high school diploma only, assuming they have all other prerequisite skills B ) What skills are the most crucial and highly valued for these positions (e.g. this would be used to design the cirricculum). I need to first determine whether or not companies would even hire these students before I go any further with my idea. 

I have a draft of the email I am looking to send to these organizations; however as I'm sure you can see by the above, I'm not the greatest writer. I also feel like the email might be a bit too long as it stands, but I don't quite know what to cut out. So I'm honestly looking for any type of feedback. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vkkGtw0stdJywvaIS6yoWD17M6EqBGwnvW4iOPJ6Hcg/edit?usp=sharing

 

As always thank you ahead of time!!

Edited October 21, 2019 by samman1994