Rescheduling a confirmed interview?

[HanClee]

Apologies for double-posting -- please let me know if you know how to delete a post!

Here is what I need help with:

I received an informal interview invite at one of my dream schools last night with a proposed date (1/3). I confirmed this interview this morning but within three hours was told that there is a family event (more like an emergency) on this date that I MUST attend. I immediately emailed the PI and asked if it’d be possible to push the interview to 3 hours (5pm local time for her) later or to chat on 1/2 instead ( I left a 12-hour window of availability so there’s a bigger likelihood this will work for her).

1/3 is a Friday so meeting later during the weekend is not an option and I’m not sure if she is back to work yet on 1/2. 
 

The thing is I feel soooooooo bad for rescheduling after having confirmed this interview and would hate if this is gonna sabotage my chance. It has been six hours and she has not gotten back to me yet; I know it’s because she is out of the office for the holidays but I’m still feeling so anxious. 
 

What do folks think? Is it ever acceptable to reschedule after having confirmed an unofficial interview? Ugh this is torture!

[fixology]

While I think it’s best to keep commitments after confirming them, this sounds like 1. a special case with an unavoidable family matter and 2. a flexible, informal interview format anyway. It’s an informal interview, so it’s likely not as big a deal to reschedule or change compared to an in-person visit. Plus, if you responded in three hours it shows that you’re on top of it—it’s not like you’re waiting until the day of or the day before to change the plans. This situation must feel stressful and difficult, but I don’t think the PI will think it’s a giant deal or that this slight change will ruin your chances. Life happens, and any reasonable PI knows that. 

[irish80122]

I am a program director of a clinical psychology program.

These things happen.  I think the parsimonious response is that the POI is not checking his/her email as frequently during break as they typically do and that is why you have not heard.  My guess is they will be understanding.  If not, honestly, is that a program you want to be at. 

My mother died December 1st of my first year of graduate school.  My program was awesome, letting me go back immediately to make it before she passed, allowing me the option to postpone my finals, etc.  Life happens, and you want to be at a program that gets that.

TL/DR: It will likely be fine, and if it is truly an emergency and they aren't receptive that is not a program I would want to be at.

[HanClee]

 

19 hours ago, fixology said:

While I think it’s best to keep commitments after confirming them, this sounds like 1. a special case with an unavoidable family matter and 2. a flexible, informal interview format anyway. It’s an informal interview, so it’s likely not as big a deal to reschedule or change compared to an in-person visit. Plus, if you responded in three hours it shows that you’re on top of it—it’s not like you’re waiting until the day of or the day before to change the plans. This situation must feel stressful and difficult, but I don’t think the PI will think it’s a giant deal or that this slight change will ruin your chances. Life happens, and any reasonable PI knows that. 

 

2 hours ago, irish80122 said:

I am a program director of a clinical psychology program.

These things happen.  I think the parsimonious response is that the POI is not checking his/her email as frequently during break as they typically do and that is why you have not heard.  My guess is they will be understanding.  If not, honestly, is that a program you want to be at. 

My mother died December 1st of my first year of graduate school.  My program was awesome, letting me go back immediately to make it before she passed, allowing me the option to postpone my finals, etc.  Life happens, and you want to be at a program that gets that.

TL/DR: It will likely be fine, and if it is truly an emergency and they aren't receptive that is not a program I would want to be at.

Thank you, thank you both for your insightful and kind responses! It means a lot to me to read about your thoughts and truthfully, they helped calm me down.

I have always been a somewhat anxious person with a perfectionist tendency that I am not proud of and even though it was out of my control, I felt it was my fault. 

You guys are right; I will stop stressing over when the PI's going to respond and focus on prepping for the interview instead.

Immense gratitude and happy holidays!!!