To go through with grad school or take a second gap year? (COVID19)

[DeadAccount]

Hello all,

I'm hoping for some advice from fellow grad students/to-be grad students. My intentions this year were to go into an MA program in sociology, with hopes of getting into a PhD program the following year. (Long story short, I want a MA in one field, PhD in another, this is why I chose this route, among other reasons.) I got into MAPSS at UChicago and was very excited to go. However, I was very apprehensive about taking out such large loans in the first place (I only received a partial scholarship). I was hoping the experience, opportunities, and networking I would gain there would make it worth the debt. Now, due to coronavirus, classes will be offered via a mix of online and in-person instruction. In-person seats sound very limited, and I won't really know until a week or two before classes begin if I'll manage to get an in-person class or not. (I also do not like online classes and just don't feel I learn very well in them. I learn best when I can feel really engaged with my instructor and classmates face-to-face.) I also have a feeling that as universities return to campus, outbreaks will be inevitable and will result in campuses closing and going fully online again. 

With all these uncertainties, in general and specifically related to classes/classwork, on top of the fact I just don't feel like I will gain the same experiences/connections that I would have during a normal year, I just don't know if I can justify taking out such a huge chunk of loans right now.

Currently I'm in a very lucky position. I work for a university and can take classes to keep myself in the habit of school work over the next year, should I take an additional gap year. I could also use the free classes I'm allowed as an employee to add some relevant certifications to my resume. I'm hopeful that if I decide to withdraw from MAPSS I can take advantage of some resources at work, and attempt to improve my overall application, GRE scores, etc. over the next year. I'm also considering just applying directly to PhD programs next time (hopefully fully funded programs). 

I feel like a failure if I postpone going to grad school for another year, but I'm very scared of taking on such debt. Especially knowing that the future of the economy in the US looks so gloomy, and that I'll probably be deferring payments for 4-7 years while I work on a PhD anyway. 

Basically, does anyone have any thoughts/recommendations/advice? If I have a stable environment to take another gap year and continue to improve my applications, is it a bad idea? Is taking a second gap year after grad school going to hurt me? I'm so very conflicted right now, because I was so excited for this program, but now I'm not sure. I worry that if I don't go, I'll regret it, but if I do go, that I'll regret it.

TIA. 

[iheartscience]

I'm not sure if this helps, but... a long time ago, I applied to PhD programs in neuroscience, was admitted nowhere, but was offered admission to MAPSS at UChicago (which I had not applied to but it seems like they offer admission to some PhD applicants who weren't admitted to doctoral program but seemed like promising graduate students). I only received a partial scholarship, and was considering a cross country move and those big loans...but I ultimately decided  to instead change fields altogether and took my first science teaching job. (Almost two decades and many rewarding years later, I'm entering a PhD program for science education at Stanford...albeit virtually because #covid19).

Anyway, my sense of MAPSS was that the program was designed to support promising potential doctoral students refine their applications, gain research experience/mentors with UChicago faculty, and potentially move into doctoral program (at UChicago and elsewhere) the following year. The admissions packet I received emphasized the large percentage of MAPSS students who were admitted to funded doctoral programs after the program.

I wonder: if the MAPSS program is mostly online, would the benefits of MAPSS (and those big loans) be as strong for you? That's a question I would have for the program: how they plan to support online MAPSS students in their longer term goals. If the answer is satisfying, it seems like a program that in normal years is structured to support MA students towards moving into funded doctoral tracks. But if that value comes mostly from in-person relationship building and research support, then it might be a lot of debt to take on for a less supportive experience.