rejected...then accepted (sort of)?1?

[coffeecoffeebuzzbuzz]

Long story short I was rejected from every school that I applied. The day after I received the last rejection letter I received word that I had been awarded a very generous fellowship to be used towards any grad program. This created a rather awkward situation for me. I essentially had to swallow my pride and write to every person/school that rejected me to see if they might reconsider.

The good news is since then I have had correspondence w/ various faculty who now want me in their lab. Yay! But now I am feeling even more confused emotionally. Both myself, and the profs I talk to, seem to be experiencing an odd guilt complex. To add to the scene I am not sure if I am really "accepted" or not, online my application still says rejected and I have yet to see any paperwork. Also due to confusion between profs and admins I am not even sure if I can be accepted this year due to paperwork rules.

This scene reminds me of weird dating dynamics of being dumped and then getting back together out of pity (or money) rather than actual desire to be with each other. In some instances I was rejected from lack of funding, in others I was simply rejected for not being a good enough fit/competitive enough of an applicant. Ugh! I am dealing with weird depression/buyers remorse/impostor syndrome from all of this shifting back and forth. I know that I want to go to grad school, but I am also dealing with an unusually large dose of self doubt right now.

What is going on? has anyone else dealt w/ a weird scenario like this?

[wordbird]

It didn't happen to me, but I know of others it happened to. Rejected across the board, got a major scholarship, contacted all the schools, suddenly they had multiple offers on their desk.

None of this is personal, it is just the business of grad school. There is never enough funding to go around, so if you come with your own funding it is going to open a lot of doors. If you have money and there is a prof willing to take you on, you should be able to start in September. Talk to the grad office and see about getting the paperwork pushed through.

[Jae B.]

The good news is since then I have had correspondence w/ various faculty who now want me in their lab. Yay! But now I am feeling even more confused emotionally. Both myself, and the profs I talk to, seem to be experiencing an odd guilt complex. To add to the scene I am not sure if I am really "accepted" or not, online my application still says rejected and I have yet to see any paperwork. Also due to confusion between profs and admins I am not even sure if I can be accepted this year due to paperwork rules.

This scene reminds me of weird dating dynamics of being dumped and then getting back together out of pity (or money) rather than actual desire to be with each other. In some instances I was rejected from lack of funding, in others I was simply rejected for not being a good enough fit/competitive enough of an applicant. Ugh! I am dealing with weird depression/buyers remorse/impostor syndrome from all of this shifting back and forth. I know that I want to go to grad school, but I am also dealing with an unusually large dose of self doubt right now.

I haven't dealt with a scenario like this, but I want to congratulate and encourage you! I wish you the absolute best at the school you wind up attending.

Regarding the guilt complex: the fact that a school didn't accept you because of funding issues -- but is trying to admit you now -- says they wanted you all along, but realized you deserved funding they couldn't offer. They wouldn't entertain admitting you now if you weren't worth their time or trouble, especially with the administrative issues involved.

You're right, it's kind of like an old-fashioned relationship: "I'd love to stay together, but I haven't got the money to support you...." But it doesn't mean they don't like you, and you can develop a better relationship in the future.

Sure, it would be more convenient for you now if they had accepted you without enough funding, but if you hadn't gotten this amazing fellowship you might have had an even more wrenching decision to make.

Again, congratulations on your fellowship and conquering this complicated admissions business -- so you can get back to academics!

[fadeindreams]

...And this is why most programs should have a wait-list for applicants that they would like to accept but do not have the funding for! That way, if one of them comes back to you and says "Hey, I have lots of monies" you can fully accept them and save face.

You don't have to tell them they are wait-listed due to money. In fact, you can be rather ambiguous and distant.

Out right rejections should be saved for people who are completely unqualified to enter your program.

[coffeecoffeebuzzbuzz]

Ouch... turned out to be rejected...then invited for a phone and in-person interview....followed by ambiguous acceptance... then official rejection again. Talk about a blow to the ego.

[Jae B.]

Damn it, I'm so sorry that happened to you! Talk about leading you on.

May I ask what happens with your fellowship? Does it give you something to do?

I wish you better luck.

[fadeindreams]

Damn it, I'm so sorry that happened to you! Talk about leading you on.

May I ask what happens with your fellowship? Does it give you something to do?

I wish you better luck.

Sorry about your luck.

I know it might be a bit bruising to your ego and I don't know the discipline you are pursuing but I think you might want to consider applying to universities with rolling admissions. Many major, quality institutions have rolling admissions. You may be able to put that fellowship to use and it might be a good idea to pursue an MS now at one of those institutions.

[Str2T]

...And this is why most programs should have a wait-list for applicants that they would like to accept but do not have the funding for! That way, if one of them comes back to you and says "Hey, I have lots of monies" you can fully accept them and save face.

You don't have to tell them they are wait-listed due to money. In fact, you can be rather ambiguous and distant.

Out right rejections should be saved for people who are completely unqualified to enter your program.

At this level, most applicants are qualified to enter PhD and Masters programs (and do the work). Rejections, at any stage of the process, are usually based on lack of fit and lack of space/funding. If the issue is about lack of funding, having your own scholarship/funding should potentially get you in the door. It might be tricky, though, if they have already rejected you.