Thank you letters or gifts

[gradschoolnutty]

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I have yet to send out thank you letters or gifts to the people who wrote me letters of recommendations for the fellowships I was awarded. I've heard it's tacky to send gifts to professors that have so much already (and awkward) and a thank you note is best. I've also heard that professors should not accept gifts from students at some schools.

Can anyone offer me any advice? Thanks.

[A. sesquipedale]

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I have yet to send out thank you letters or gifts to the people who wrote me letters of recommendations for the fellowships I was awarded. I've heard it's tacky to send gifts to professors that have so much already (and awkward) and a thank you note is best. I've also heard that professors should not accept gifts from students at some schools.

Can anyone offer me any advice? Thanks.

There seems to be a mixed consensus on this, and I think sometimes we can over analyze the consequences of either outcome. I sent a card and small gift <$5 to each letter writer (for grad school applications). I think it is perfectly fine to not send a gift and it isn't strange to send a small gift either. Just put yourself in their shoes and ask if you would be offended if you did or did not receive a letter or gift, that might help clarify your predicament.

[fuzzylogician]

Some places have rules against professors accepting gifts from students, especially before they have submitted all their grades. If you're not depending on your writers for grades, then there shouldn't be any official trouble with your giving them a gift. Regardless, though, I personally think the best thing to give is a thoughtful hand-written card. I know a lot of professors who keep those cards for years. Same goes for a class you enjoyed - it's heart warming to get a thank you email from a student. I don't think anything more than than is ever required, or even expected. Of course, to some extent it depends on the kind of relationship you have with the professor, but again, I always opt for a card and it's never failed me so far.

[crimsonengineer87]

It sounds like you've maybe graduated, which is why you say you're embarrassed. But in any case, I agree with the above posts. If YOU think your professors will get offended by a monetary gift, a thank you card will be fine.

I, personally, had the same three professors write me about 10+ letters (of course, they use the same one after getting the first) each for different things. I really enjoyed these professors in-class and as people. So I got them cards and a $10-15 gift card to a coffee shop. Actually, I gave another one a canister of cookies, because I know she likes things like that and another a bag of candy. All three emailed me and said they were thoughtful and thanked me.

I think it just depends on you, as well. If you have the money and want to, go ahead. But I think a thank you letter/card is necessary. Gifts, not so much.

[coyabean]

I second the sincere card and a gift more personalized than expensive.

For example, one of my profs is a reformed hippie. LOL He is NOT letting a bald spot interfere with his ponytail. I noticed at some point that he color coordinated the rubber band on that ponytail to his outfits. And you could tell if he was having a good day or not based on how askew the ponytail had become. So, I collected hair bands in all kinds of colors and wacky shapes and stuff and put them in a box. It MAYBE ran me $7-8? But what ethics committee could hate on a box of, essentially, rubberbands?

So, creativity and personalization can help overcome the price concern and it removes the skeeviness of a gift with an obvious dollar amount attached.

And to echo fuzzylogician everyone I sent a letter to called or wrote me back to say how much it meant to them. I'm talking people who think emotions undermine reason here. Dr. Ponytail loved the gift and got a huge kick out of it but what really touched him? I commented upon his linguistic worksheets he handed out in class. I told him, sincerely, that they really helped me order information and that i'd kept them all in a folder and use them as a reference (and that I will probably steal them for my own classroom one day). This seemed to really float his boat.

So, just recognizing all the work folks have put into being good at their profession by way of a personal, sincere note is probably more than enough.

Edited May 25, 2010 by coyabean