Advise on Personal Statements

[fizz]

As far as personal stories go, I think there's a difference between saying "I've wanted to be an archaeologist since seeing Indiana Jones in 8th grade" or "I had an ancient Egypt themed birthday party when I was 6" and "Digging at Mycenae made me want to focus on pre-Classical cultures" or "My awesome British Museum internship introduced me to papyrology". They're all cool stories, but the latter two are directly relevant to your scholarly, "adult" experience and aspirations. Everyone gets interested in a field somehow, and I feel personally that if I really dug around I could find a childhood experience that would support my entering any field (science fair victory, Capitol Hill visits, computer nerdery, art class awards etc). What's more relevant are the experiences that have prepared you for your particular desired grad training. In my case this meant not talking about my Anglophile childhood or declaring my major in my first week of undergrad, but spending time on a particularly formative internship and the research interests I picked up there.

Maybe a good rule of thumb is, if it isn't (or wouldn't be) on your resume, it doesn't go in your personal statement? I also understand that for some applications at least there is a distinction between a personal statement and a statement of purpose.

[luvalicious]

What's more relevant are the experiences that have prepared you for your particular desired grad training.

I agree with that. In my case, there was no particular anecdote, but I did say that my particular research interests are formed by my family background and have, in turn, influenced all of my academic choices along the way.

I think it's clear that there is no "right" way of doing it. I tried it both ways, actually, and then I stuck with the statement that flowed the best.

[Minnesotan]

Out of morbid curiosity, I pulled up one of the statements I wrote for my MA applications two years ago, and I am horrified. How I ever got into a good program is beyond me.

Honestly, I'm glad applications are a package deal; my writing sample and other materials must have been stupendous, or else research unis were hard up in 2006.

[studentfromLA]

I also think it really depends on the program you are applying to and the circumstances you are applying from. I've been out of school for a while and in going back and applying for a graduate degree now, I felt I had to explain my motivation and justify why they should take a chance on me, in addition to explaining my research areas of interest. I pretty much did no research into the application process (i.e. I looked at no sample personal statements) before writing mine, and I got into 2 of the 4 programs I applied to, with funding. The other two, I haven't heard from yet, but haven't been rejected yet. In looking at the advice here and the sample statements of purpose, I realize I probably committed several cardinal sins (i.e. my statement was rife with personal background and anecdotes, and I didn't really identify anything personal to the schools other than the subjects I was interested in studying), but it worked for me.

I think the key to a good statement is (1) that it be well-written, and (2) that it articulates your goals, passion and preparation for graduate study. A personal anecdote or two, if well-concieved, well, I just can't see how that is a problem for anyone reading the statement. It humanizes you, and gives them a sense of who they will be working with for the next 2-5 years. I don't think you can under-estimate the value of good writing, though.

[gracieh]

Another helpful tip is to have as many eyes as possible read it. Preferably, people you know (friends, family, professors). They will be able to tell you if your personal statement is genuine or too cliche.

[zigazowohnow]

Avoid emphatic intensifiers and exercise caution with epithets.

LOL! I was so impressed with this sentence and thinking....hmmm I wonder what field this person is in??? To no surprise...linguistics!

[Sejla]

This is possibly too late for the OP, but for what it's worth:

I took off five years from the time I graduated to apply for an MA program and will be starting in the fall.

I used a book (the only one I found at Border's) to get an idea of what other statements looked like. I found a number of the stories told cheesy and can only imagine many people on the admissions committee would ("I spent my thirteenth birthday with 1000 people who had evacuated for a hurricane...") but they were apparently statements that had gotten the writer accepted.

I gave some examples of experiences that led to or added to my interest in the field, but didn't try to include a story or anecdote.

It was especially useful to me to have a friend who had recently started a grad program not just proofread, but give me advice on content. One great example was - instead of saying "I went to do X in my time since graduating because I wanted experience but wasn't ready to commit to a grad program", say "I did X in order to decide if a grad program was the right choice". (It is possible her husband - who has a job relevant to saying the right thing - also helped out ) Obviously this example is specific to me, but what I took from that is - it's useful to get advice from someone who can comment on how you frame things too.

[engguy]

Agreed that it's probably too late, but here goes :

I had friends who had recently (within the past two-three years) gotten into several of the programs I wanted to apply to. I asked both of them if they could send me their statements to look over in preparation for writing mine. This was truly invaluable -- I had been going the "personal history" route and by looking at theirs, realized that I had to at least lead off the statement with some very specific work I wanted to do, and get to the personal stuff later. And then only as it specifically applied to the work and research I wanted to do. Then, I had my thesis adviser go over the statement, and he made further recommendations, mostly for moving some stuff around. (I also, of course, sent my statement to all my recommenders.)

In the case of one of the schools, I also had the friend who's there now go over my statement one more time, and made one last-minute change that I'm convinced pretty much got me in to that program. ---- (Sorry I'm not being more specific, but I don't think it would help anyone; I just wanted to give a sense of the process that I undertook, and which has been largely successful this year. Other people have posted on approaches that were completely different, and just as (or more) successful.)

But overall, I would strongly recommend that if at all possible you try to get in touch with someone you can trust, who's already been accepted / attending the program you want to enter. At the very least, he or she can give you the inside scoop on whatever internal politics might be in play that could affect your application -- "So and so is simply not taking new students to work with" or "that concentration is really hot right now, slant your proposal towards that," etc.

And as always, best of luck.

[Cornell07]

No. No. All of this is helpful. Assuming I don't get it to my last ditch back-up masters program, I will be reapplying in the fall to MA programs, with a couple of long shot PhD programs for good measure. Thanks all!

[4givn1]

Another suggestion--find some way to get interested in (if you aren't already) multiple professors there you can work with, and demonstrate that. I thought one or two was good enough. At least in my field (social psych). Not so. I kept getting rejected from places, and kind of wondered why--until one grad school told me they were very impressed with my qualifications but that my research interests were too narrow--they usually looked for someone with more matches within the department--not just one or two. My primary research interest is the psychology of religion and it's like that. At that school it made the difference between being on the waitlist (which I got) and acceptance. Only then it dawned on me that all the schools--except the one I got directly into--I had demonstrated only 1 or 2 full matches. The one I got into I demonstrated five.

Mostly for my personal statements I've started them in a creative fashion--usually an experience directly related to my topic of interest. For instance my research interests are in the psychology of religion, and I shared a little bit about my conversion experience as the root of my interest. I didn't go into all the details, of course, but it made it a little less dry. Most of it I spent demonstrating the matches although I also talked about how and why I decided to go into the field. I talked briefly about the setting and where I wanted to work, and a bit about me that shows I'm particularly qualified to do the work independent of the other materials I submitted. You don't want errors--with the school I got admitted to, I had one, but it was such that unless they were familiar with a vocabulary word used by advanced theologs they wouldn't notice it.

[silencio1982]

i think this is a good point. in my earlier apps i listed only 1 faculty member i was interested in working with. by my last app (submitted a month later), which happened to be the school i got into, i listed 2... but i also found out (after i submitted my app, actually!) that the department is starting up a concentration in the topic i'm interested in, and there are several profs that are working on this topic. in the end, i think that helped me a LOT! i knew i wanted to work with the 2 people there, but when i found out they were actually formally developing a concentration in my proposed topic, it gave me even more hope. so, my point is try to figure out what work is going on at the department-- if there is a large enough group of faculty clustered around one area it helps to try to tailor your interests. then again- if there are too many students already working on these topics then they might go in a different direction with their admits. i got really lucky that i was in the right place at the right time, so to speak.

but in terms of SOP, the above poster is right- if you only list one faculty member, it makes sense that you are narrowing your chances of getting in. it's better to show that you fit with at least a few faculty and the general trend the department is heading in. FWIW.

[keepcalm]

Hmm. Each of my personal statements only listed one faculty member, and I got into 2 excellent programs and was waitlisted at 2 more. Though, this is mainly because departments only tend to have 1 person working with the particular approach I happen to be interested in.

[erikw]

I think relevant anecdotes can be wonderful things but yes, be cautious. I started off with an anecdote and had one more in the body of my essays. I am not sure if they were super cheesy but my friends and profs who read over my essays liked them. It always help to have people in the field read over your essays. They make critical, astute observations which can swing things.

Relevance and simplicity are key.

The shortest ones are always the hardest to write. Columbia with 500 words and Harvard with 600 words were the hardest to write. Brown has a ridiculous limit of 75 pages

Good luck!

[soundboard]

I would say, read a couple of articles on the SoP, not more than that. and then target a couple of profs wherever you plan to apply. within the text, you need a balance between what you say about yourself and what you write about proposed work/study. The 'proving that I am fit' is tricky, you need not say it in that many words but need to show it throughiut the SOP through other issues. that also lets you save space for other things.

I can comment on your SoP if you find that ok

best

[Cornell07]

I ultimately did not get in to my last-ditch masters program, but the results were very encouraging. I redid my personal statement, applied to a new MA program at Columbia/London School of Economics, and was waitlisted for an exceedingly long time. Ultimately, I was rejected but received two very nice personal emails from the head of graduate admissions and the program director, both strongly encouraging me to reapply next year. Why not! They said they'll waive the application fee! Not a bad bang for my buck. I applied to the Columbia PhD program, was rejected, had my app transfered to the MA program free of charge, was waitlisted, and then get to reapply free of charge! Three apps for the price of one. Pretty sweet.

Thanks for all the helpful comments. See you in the Fall!

[crumpledpaper]

Good luck on your applications this time around, OP.

Special reader's thanks to the response about trying to expand your interests to meet more potential advisors. That sounds like a reasonable idea. It's always better to think about being flexible and demonstrating that, I think, than suggesting that if that professor can't take additional students, that you'll be hung out to dry.