Grad school and disability

[Birdcrazy]

As I said in the biology section, graduated with a BS in Zoology. I am seriously thinking about grad school, but between graduating from college and now, I have developed a severe mood disorder. This stupid thing is destroying my life. I try to work and I can't very well, I in fact am now living on SSI. The doctors keep telling me that if I stabilize enough, I can pursue my dreams, but anyway, I have a few questions to ask:

1. How stressful is grad school? Stress triggers my problems.

2. How good is disability support?

3. If you have similar issues, what kind of accommodations could I get?

4. Should I just give up?

[DariaIRL]

I believe every university has a Disability Resource Office or something similar. From sitting in a presentation panel recently, my undergrad school's Disability office works VERY hard to get ALL students the accommodations they need. So you should look up the schools you are interested in applying to, and then go to their Disability office website (or in person if you call ahead) and see what kind of accommodations they provide to you if you were admitted. The Disability office would also likely have resources on cheap/low-income therapy or group sessions for folks in similar situations.

[psycholinguist]

I'm so sorry to hear about this! What a drag.

Well, I'd say the first thing to do would be cross off #4. * grins * Yeah, most universities, especially research-universities, will have something along those lines (though it might also be called 'Accessibility Services' as it is at my grad-school). I volunteered for the Student Disability Services office at my undergrad-school for a while, and the people there were just so great: friendly, calm, resourceful, and empathetic. They helped out all kinds of students with all kinds of health-issues: learning-difficulties, physical disabilities, chronic physical/mental illnesses, colourblindness, test-anxiety problems...all sorts of things. In order words, there's never any need to be shy about asking them for assistance, and they've probably seen it all before. Being in school is bound to be stressful on some level or another, but if you love your field, plan your time well, work with the disability-office when necessary, and give yourself plenty of time to look after yourself, then it shouldn't be overwhelming. Meanwhile, a good health-department and/or psychiatric centre might well help get your symptoms more under-control: I realise you're probably aware of this, but there are a whole range of medications, cognitive-behavioural therapy programs, meditation-techniques, etc. that might be of help! So I'd say go for it, totally.

[repatriate]

Birdcrazy, I am very sorry that your mood disorder has so disrupted your life. I hope that you have some good doctors helping you out. It's definitely possible to recover and do things that you enjoy and accomplish things that make you feel good. And working on achieving your is awesome. I agree with psycholinguist: don't give up.

That said, grad school is definitely very stressful. If stress triggers your symptoms, you can work on this with your doctors (as you probably already are) through behavioral therapy techniques (basically exposing you to stress and walking you through how to deal with it and any symptoms you encounter as a result) and whatever other treatments are appropriate for your specific disorder. Keep pushing yourself; many people make it through this process, learn to manage their conditions, and do awesome things.

A word of caution: although disability services are very supportive and filled with people who will listen to you without judgment and help you find solutions, you cannot expect the same thing from your home department or advisor. Some departments and faculty will be supportive, but many will not. Graduate level studies are considered more like a job than like school, so, just like your boos might be angry (justifiably or not) if your condition prevents you from meeting deadlines or causes you to be absent, your advisor may have the same attitude. One of my friends who had a mood disorder faced a lot of prejudice in her department for the disorder, and was even told that she should not be pursuing her degree because of it. She entered the degree at a sensitive time, when she was not as good at managing her condition, and so she found this attitude to be severely stressful, on top of the regular stress of academic work. She did complete the program, and it was a great accomplishment for her that I know she is proud of, but it at times made her miserable, and it was painful to watch. That's not to say that you shouldn't pursue your dreams; by all means, go for it! But make sure that you can find a disability-friendly department/advisor or that you can manage your condition successfully enough to deal with the addition stress of knowing that your advisor is not accepting of a disability.

As for the accommodations you might be able to get, you should discuss these with your doctor. Disability services groups are generally willing to work with you on an individualized basis, so you can get accommodations suited to your specific symptoms. If your mood disorder involves, for example, extended depressive episodes that prevent you leaving your house for several days or weeks, you may get accommodation for class absences or for working from home. Or if you have a co-morbid anxiety disorder that causes you to freeze up with important assignments and not be able to start them for days, you may be able to get extended deadlines for written work (with prior arrangement with supervisors). Of course, the disability services will probably want any accommodations to be recommended/confirmed by a relevant specialist (i.e., they won't just let you do whatever you say you want). How this would play into lab work (e.g., missed lab time/meetings), I'm not sure.

As another of my friends said on entering a degree program with a mood disorder: "I've been miserable before, and I survived. If I end up miserable again, at least this time, I know I can survive, and I know when it will end." Sometimes, just believing you can make it helps you to make it.