surviving toxic (?) academic environment

[Fiat]

Okay, maybe "toxic" is a strong word, but I am truly not enjoying my grad school experience for reasons I cannot publicly talk about. (Feel free to DM.)

I already have a graduate degree from an Ivy League so I am mostly just doing this Art History MA because I love art, but I am so burnt out and this program has been so bad for my wellbeing. I don't want to turn Art History into something I hate just because of my experience with it in the academia though. I have considered dropping out honestly, but it is not really an option because I would have to leave to US if I dropped out. (International student here.)

How would you cope in that situation?

[emerald_hedgehog]

Current art history PhD here. I emphathize with you and relate to some of the sentiments. Without knowing more about your situation, my instinctive advice (which may not sound great, so please take it with a grain of salt) is to get through the MA and stop after getting the degree. This advice would change though depending on your circumstances, ex. if your relationship with your advisor is unhealthy in a way that might be considered "abusive" by the academy, so to speak. Feel free to DM me if you are comfortable/would like to share details.

 

My program has also turned out to be not what I expected in many ways and my department is toxic in many ways. Because I want to stay in academia, my coping strategy has been to survive it without getting into unnecessary fights/unpleasant situations with people while also taking notes of things I would want to do differently in the future if I ever achieve my dream of becoming a professor myself and have to work as part of a department culture and take on mentees. Reminding yourself that the academy is a quagmire in many ways but that it does not have to be this way, nor that you are chained to this option, is something myself and several of my classmates do to get through, if that makes sense. That separation will also help prevent you from seeing all of art as always, inherently, through the academic lens. There's also just more practical advice, like ensuring you're taking care of yourself and maintaining a few hobbies, etc. Again, happy to chat further if that's of interest.

 

I hope whatever you're going through works out!

Edited January 3 by emerald_hedgehog

[Fiat]

It's been a while since I posted this. I have decided to leave the program and I am currently waiting to hear back from job and transfer applications. It is a complicated situation that involves me filling a DEI grievance against my advisor. I am angry and sad and excited all at once but mostly I am grieving the end of something.