meankney Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Has anyone else here planned a wedding and gotten married during grad school? I'm currently planning a wedding for May of 2012. I'll be finished with my Master's degree this May and will be well past my qualifying exam for my PhD by the wedding, so I'm not worried about it conflicting with any major events. I know wedding planning can be stressful and I'm by no means having a huge wedding, but it will be 75-100 people, so there will be a significant amount of planning for the event. How did you deal with planning a wedding and your everyday grad school responsibilities? I'm a woman in the sciences, so for you other ladies: did you feel like there was any stigma attached with you getting married? Sometimes I feel a little worried about telling the men in my department because I think they think I'm just going to get married and give up on my education to become a housewife. Any other advice?
meankney Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Aw damnit. I forgot the "g" in "getting". That's going to drive me nuts.
redread Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 First: Congratulations! I'm also getting married in May 2012, but I'll just be finishing my MA in April 2012. Coming from the humanities, I'd have to say that there's no stigma attached to my decision. But that's also probably because the school is mostly female. Most of us seem to keep our names (as I'm going to do), and there tends to be a lot of nontraditional ceremonies. My fiance and I aim to get a lot of planning/DIYing done over this next summer/Winter break. I wish that I had some advice to offer, but I really just came here to congratulate you.
meankney Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 First: Congratulations! I'm also getting married in May 2012, but I'll just be finishing my MA in April 2012. Coming from the humanities, I'd have to say that there's no stigma attached to my decision. But that's also probably because the school is mostly female. Most of us seem to keep our names (as I'm going to do), and there tends to be a lot of nontraditional ceremonies. My fiance and I aim to get a lot of planning/DIYing done over this next summer/Winter break. I wish that I had some advice to offer, but I really just came here to congratulate you. Thanks! Congratulations to you, too!
dmf Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Congrats! I just got engaged too but we're trying to throw the wedding together for this August, right before I hopefully start a PhD program. I personally didn't want to worry about planning right after moving to a new place and starting a new program but I'm sure tons of people do it just fine. I've also wondered about the whole stigma thing as a woman in science. I've heard that it can be both a positive (seen as more stable and rooted) and a negative thing ("I bet she'll get knocked up and leave science") as you progress in your career... I'm currently trying to figure out how to bring my fiance along on interviews (he'll obviously be moving where ever I end up so wants to get a feel for the areas) without making a huge deal of it with my programs. Anyway, I guess I don't have any concrete advice but wanted to say congrats and good luck!
UnlikelyGrad Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Aw damnit. I forgot the "g" in "getting". That's going to drive me nuts. That's OK. Your friendly neighborhood moderator can't stand typos either. *waves magic wand* And congrats, btw!
robot_hamster Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) I got married long before grad school, well before undergrad actually too. How much planning are you planning on doing this summer when you would possibly have more free time (l don't know if you take summer courses)? Depending on where you live, you need to make reservations WAAAAAAAAAAAY in advance. We had to book our reception hall and photographer a year in advance. If you have all the major stuff out of the way before the Fall, then you can do all the little things bit by bit during your last semesters. Congrats, BTW! Edited January 28, 2011 by robot_hamster
socialcomm Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 My husband and I got married after his first year of his PhD program. It actually worked out quite well. I was working full time and didn't have as flexible a schedule as he did, so he was able to do a lot of the planning. And we were about 2 hours from our wedding site, so not very close. I think if the two of you work together you'll be fine! Congrats!
smokeypup Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 (edited) I am a 2nd year PhD student in the social sciences and am currently planning a wedding for august. So far, so good. Just start the planning now, and do as much as you can during summers/spring breaks, etc. It is definitely possible and not too stressful. As far a stigma, I was a little weird about it at first, but there are a lot of married men/women and families in my department, and many of them more on track in terms of completion time than their single counterparts. You'll be fine. Edited January 29, 2011 by smokeypup
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