Asking for LOR after death in family?

[aeliz900]

How long should I wait to ask someone for a LOR after a death in the family? I have already asked this person a couple weeks ago, and I was finishing up my SOP and Resume for them to use as a reference. All other parts of my application are complete and ready, I'm just waiting on this on last LOR.

[FingersCrossedX]

Well I guess it depends on when its due and how the person is handling things. If its due soon, then you may have to ask again. If you have some time, I'd give the person time. If she or he is handling things well enough it may be less tricky. I wouldn't ask while the professor is on leave or out of town.

[aeliz900]

Well I guess it depends on when its due and how the person is handling things. If its due soon, then you may have to ask again. If you have some time, I'd give the person time. If she or he is handling things well enough it may be less tricky. I wouldn't ask while the professor is on leave or out of town.

[aeliz900]

Well the application deadline is May 5. Everything else for my App is done and all my other LOR have been submitted. I'm just waiting on this one from my director, which is pretty significant.

From what I can tell, she is not taking things very well. I just did not know how long to wait and how to approach her. Is next week too soon?

I just dint want to wait until the very last minute to submit my stuff.

[eco_env]

Well the application deadline is May 5. Everything else for my App is done and all my other LOR have been submitted. I'm just waiting on this one from my director, which is pretty significant.

From what I can tell, she is not taking things very well. I just did not know how long to wait and how to approach her. Is next week too soon?

I just dint want to wait until the very last minute to submit my stuff.

that's what email is for. send it now and she'll take care of it when she's ready. 2 months is a good amount of time to give for LoR writers in general.

[a fragrant plant]

I think next week is too soon. When I learned that my colleague has just lost her mother, I gave her space and did the job myself. I waited till she was well enough to email me. I understand that you're anxious, but I think your LOR would really appreciate that you give her some space and time during this difficult time. The deadline is May 5. You still have plenty of time. If your LOR is an organized person, she shouldn't have any problem to write up something when you ask again in mid April.

You can also send her a sympathy card to give her your condolence. While you're not asking for a letter directly, the card will, hopefully, reminds her of your existence.

Edited March 16, 2011 by Peanut

[xyz123abcefg]

One way to gauge her readiness might be to ask her if she is still able to write you a letter or if you should ask someone else, with the hope that she will adamantly agree to continue to write the letter. Of course, it is possible she may prefer you get someone else if she cannot gather herself together to write it by the due date and in that case, at least you will know in plenty of time to find a back-up.

You should also offer your condolences and let her know that you are not in a rush to receive it (even though you probably are) until she is feeling more capable and focused. This will not only remind her of the letter and the due date, but it will also let her know that you are giving her time to grieve. If she feels appreciative of your sympathy it may make her even more eager to write you that letter of support.