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Posted

I am currently choosing between two schools and I am pretty much a mess over it.

School A:

  • 2 years funding, very small stipend
  • Guaranteed work project for two years that I am very, very excited about
  • Will be able to publish with advisor
  • Students really like my advisor-other interesting faculty as well
  • very well ranked school
  • but, program aimed a bit more administrative than I aim to be--but opportunities to work with another program at the school that is not as administrative based/make it work for me (both programs ranked very well and cross over between them)
  • in a very cold and dark location and I hate winter
  • Don't know anyone there
  • Husband will start out working remotely but probably not the whole 5+ years. There are some positions for my husbands work but not tons.
    • 3 years of funding but no guaranteed work (so riskier for the job market upon graduation)
    • Top ten school but not ranked anywhere near as well as school A
    • Advisor easy to talk to in person, but very hard to reach via email/phone
    • Advisor does not seem to publish much/seem they will help mold my research goals etc
    • Other faculty I approached about possibly working on projects said "we will have to see"
    • Courses more a good match compared to school A--(but as previously mentioned opportunities to do good research/publish are weaker)
    • Students say its hard to get work
    • Great location with great weather-and I love the heat.
    • Very close friends in the location, and even at the university
    • Better for my husband's career

From what I can tell School A may be better for me professionally (but not necessarily for my husband). School B would be better lifestyle-wise.

Any advice? I keep going back and forth...

Posted

It seems as if 'A' would be better long term, but 'B' is better with the intangibles. I am married as well and I would make sure to talk to your SO about it, I'm sure you already have. B/c if his difficulties in work will impact your marriage then it may be worth it to go to 'B', but if he is the very understanding and extremely supportive type, then I think that 'A' would be better. This is how I would decide. Good Luck.

Posted

Thanks I appreciate the advice!

It seems as if 'A' would be better long term, but 'B' is better with the intangibles. I am married as well and I would make sure to talk to your SO about it, I'm sure you already have. B/c if his difficulties in work will impact your marriage then it may be worth it to go to 'B', but if he is the very understanding and extremely supportive type, then I think that 'A' would be better. This is how I would decide. Good Luck.

Posted

It seems as if 'A' would be better long term, but 'B' is better with the intangibles. I am married as well and I would make sure to talk to your SO about it, I'm sure you already have. B/c if his difficulties in work will impact your marriage then it may be worth it to go to 'B', but if he is the very understanding and extremely supportive type, then I think that 'A' would be better. This is how I would decide. Good Luck.

I think Bison has it. If you have a very supportive S.O. and you don't think it would be putting a strain on your relationship, I think that you could work through the money and the location (with regards to S.O.'s job prospects). It sounds to me like you're going to be happier at School A.

However, if it feels too one-sided to consider the school that only works better for one of you, or if you think that even if your S.O. agreed to go to school A s/he wouldn't be happy there, then I think you'll also do well at School B.

No matter where you decide to go, it looks like you have something to look forward to at each school. I'm a mess with making decisions, so I understand the stress. Good luck!!

Posted (edited)

Thanks Runonsentence. This was very helpful--its funny--you ask all your friends and family but everyone has their own agenda. Now it seems more obvious to me that I am leaning towards school A.

I think Bison has it. If you have a very supportive S.O. and you don't think it would be putting a strain on your relationship, I think that you could work through the money and the location (with regards to S.O.'s job prospects). It sounds to me like you're going to be happier at School A.

However, if it feels too one-sided to consider the school that only works better for one of you, or if you think that even if your S.O. agreed to go to school A s/he wouldn't be happy there, then I think you'll also do well at School B.

No matter where you decide to go, it looks like you have something to look forward to at each school. I'm a mess with making decisions, so I understand the stress. Good luck!!

Edited by cupoftea
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