Anyone else sometimes feel terribly unsuccessful?

[Da Hawk]

A great man once said, “if your afraid of failure you don’t deserve to be successful.” If you want to know who said this, just copy and paste into google or yahoo search and you will be amazed. This is one of the few quotes I keep close to in my mind because it puts what I do in perspective. This is the best advice I can give you. Below is my pessimistic, slightly optimistic, story. Probably not as cool as the quote too.

I was jealous because several of my very close friends graduated a year before me. I was only jealous because I really wanted to graduate with them. What happened was I made some more friends and I graduated with them instead. Eventually your paths will diverge and and, if your lucky, you might stay in touch with one or two of them.

As an example, for those who were more of my acquaintances from my high school IB program, I really don’t care what they did. Most of them graduated college before me and are eventually going to be future politicians (like Vitter and Ensign... joking), doctors, etc.. Some of them still haven’t graduated or some probably never will because they messed up somewhere along the way, and these were supposed to be the ‘brightest’ group of the bunch. The key is to turn off the part of your brain that cares about this kind of stuff and focus that energy on something similarly as important, like sports. Just pick a hobby or something that will operate as an outlet. For me, I’m a huge sports nut. If it’s a sport, I’ll probably watch it as long as football and basketball are not on TV. One word of caution, don’t stop caring too much or your school work could become sloppy. If their success does not effect you directly, there is no reason you should really concern yourself unless you are congratulating them.

The only people you should concern yourself with are those who are in the same boat as you. Whether you are in a graduate program or the work force, unless you set yourself apart from the group, you will just end up being a peon. Even those who set themselves apart from other are peons too. Professors, politicians, doctors, etc., still have to compete with their fellow peers to succeed. You just need to put yourself into the situation where the role of peon is diminished either socially or mentally. Remember, if you are not able to distinguish yourself, it’s not the end of the world. Either find another way to be successful or find the silver lining in your situation and you’ll be happy. As long as your happy, nothing else really matters.

Oh, and it’s never ridiculous to feel unsuccessful. It just means that you care about what happens to you and that is an important step to figuring out who you are and what you truly are made off.

[juilletmercredi]

This is going to sound really cliche, but in the end, life really isn't about money or other material things. It's about experience and the journey that you've taken. When I remember this, I'm so happy with the things I've done so far, and I can't wait to find out what I'll experience next. Don't worry, it'll get better!

When I started thinking like this and really believing it, I felt much better about everything. And increasingly I am meeting people who spent many years getting their education juuuuuuuuuust right so they could do what they wanted (I say this because I'm in the middle of a PhD program and contemplating becoming a nurse practitioner - I'm in public health and I'd like to do research and practice, but I turned away from med school in college because I didn't want to take chemistry. *shakes head at 18-year-old self*). So I'm just enjoying where I am in the moment, and I find myself realizing that even if I have to spend more time than I "planned" finishing my education - *shrug*. I'm happy with where I am and what I've done, and I look forward to the future when I can experience more.

Also, though, one of the things I had to realize is that those people doing amazing things at my age (24) are anomalies. MOST of my high school friends are doing the same things I am - finishing medical school, working grunt jobs, going back to grad school, and a few are like me, in the middle of PhD programs. I'd imagine that's the same at any age group - sure, there may be some people with a beautiful house on the hill or who are international ambassadors, but MOST of the people you know are probably doing most of the same things you are - working, caring for their children and trying to figure it all out.

[Owlie]

This is going to sound really cliche, but in the end, life really isn't about money or other material things. It's about experience and the journey that you've taken. When I remember this, I'm so happy with the things I've done so far, and I can't wait to find out what I'll experience next. Don't worry, it'll get better!

True, but it's easier to be happy if the bills are paid and you have a little something to fall back on in an emergency!