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Please please please rate my New GRE Argument Essay Sample? Pleaaaaaase? Thanks.


nwshellum
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Sample argument: The market for the luxury-goods industry is on the decline. Recent reports show that a higher unemployment rate, coupled with consumer fears, has decreased the amount of money the average household spends on both essential and nonessential items, but especially on nonessential items. Since luxury goods are, by nature considered, nonessential, this market will be the first to decrease in the present economic climate, and luxury retailers should refocus their attention to lower-priced markets.

My essay:

The argument that the market for luxury goods industry is on the decline due to higher unemployment rate and consumer fears sn not logically convincing and it ignores 3 crucial assumptions.

First, the argument never addresses the different economic class of luxury goods consumers, and how the higher unemployment has affected these consumers. This argument could be strengthened if we were to suppose that a large section of luxury item consumers are wealthy people whose job market has been marginally affected by higher unemployment, therefore not resulting in decreased spending.

The second assumptions is that employment is the only way for consumers to earn an income in order to purchase luxury goods and services. It does not consider the underground economy that is not reported on the unemployement studies or reports issued by government and consumer agencies. Neither does it consider the use of credit as a purchasing tool. The availability of credit is not entirely dependent on employment status, only the ability to convince a credit company to approve you for credit.

Finally, this argument does not describe what is considered nonessential to all consumers of luxury goods. A luxury car to an entreprenuer may be considered an essential item, if it's part of his business image; however a luxury car may be considered nonessential to a middle class engineer who is now unemployed due to company layoffs.

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