Feel Like I'm in the Wrong Department

[tonks14]

Hey all,

I received my undergraduate degree in Political Science and Women’s Studies and am now beginning my first semester in a PhD program in History at a pretty good school. That said: I feel like I’ve made the wrong decision. It’s not just the usual, “oh my god, grad school is tough and I can’t cut it” reaction. Instead, I feel like after enduring the entire applications process, making my acceptance decision, and starting graduate classes, I have just woken up and realized “oh my god, I should have gone into an English PhD program instead.” The program I am in is just not as interdisciplinary as I believed previously, the coursework is not interesting to me, and I think I would be happier studying cultural studies as opposed to cultural history (I realize that there is a lot of overlap between cultural history and cultural studies, but the approach that a literature/rhetoric department would use to address texts, theory, and even history is more interesting to me---I took a lot of literary-focused courses in undergrad). I am unsure what I should do, however. Should I drop out of the history program and immediately re-group and start on the applications process all over again now that I’ve more clearly seen what I want to get out of a program and what I want to invest my time into studying? Should I stick it out for a year and at least get an MA in history (I am receiving funding)? Or should I just suck it up and stay in the program for the full six-years? (Although it seems silly to get a PhD in a subject with which you're not in love.) How feasible is it that I can make the switch? Have I just condemned myself to either staying in a program I don’t like or giving up my graduate school dreams?

Advice?

[robot_hamster]

You sound like me a few months ago. I was going through a bit of an identity crisis and was freaking out because I was halfway through a program that I didn't think was the right choice. Being halfway through the program, I myself have decided to stick it out. You are just a few weeks in, so it really is up to you what you want to do.

My thought was, what does cultural studies look like at your school? Have you spoken to any professors in that area? Perhaps if one takes a liking to you, you could simply switch over to that and keep your funding.

[ktel]

I am also thinking about all the what-ifs about other professors I could have worked with or other projects that I could have done. The only reason I'm thinking this is I'm very overwhelmed because I know very little about the subject matter I'll be pursuing, so it's always easier to think that something else would have been better.

Is there a way you could make your studies more interdisciplinary or take more interesting coursework? I would work at it a little harder to try to make the program suit you before you decide to leave.

[Behavioral]

Is there anyone stopping you from pursuing more inter-disciplinary projects in terms of your research/dissertation? If not, just stick through the coursework and wait until you're given more autonomy over the topics and methods you employ in research.

[runonsentence]

Behavioral is right that you'll have much more autonomy over your research once you're finished with coursework. But while you are in your coursework, perhaps there are opportunities for you to cross-register in classes in other departments? I do this currently.

I think you should speak to an advisor or faculty member you feel comfortable with about your anxieties and desires. Or speak with other, more established students in your program. This sounds to me like a matter of simply making the program work better for your interests, and that seems doable. Someone else who has a better idea of what the program offers should have some suggestions. It may be that right now you're doing foundational work that's necessary before you can move on to the sort of analysis that interests you. Or perhaps there are professors in your department teaching classes that would better speak to your interests that you're not yet aware of. Or perhaps you need some time to adjust to a new discipline before you can see how to make it better work for you.

Think of it this way: you surely expressed your interests in inter-disciplinary work and cultural analysis in your application. The department surely thought they could support these interests if they accepted you to their PhD program (and funded you as well). I'm sure there's a solution here, somewhere.

Good luck!