adviser is a bully

[a fragrant plant]

To protect my privacy I will not describe in details how my adviser bullies me. Generally speaking, this adviser wants me to do a lot of unpaid work and treats me like a slave. This adviser is very well known for his/her difficult personality in and outside the department so I know that if one day I break down and make a complaint, most people will understand and be sympathetic to my situation. I'm just not sure how it will affect my PhD career. I enjoy doing my PhD but this adviser makes me sick.

The advice I got from my colleagues/friends/families are the following: be firm and be clear about your boundary, but don't get caught up in the details and don't ever go into an argument, just be composted, firm and professional because I feel that my adviser likes to provoke me and push the boundary. I am a hot-headed and direct person so it's really hard for me to stay calm when someone is so disrespectful and so manipulating. Can anyone share their experiences of dealing with a bully adviser? Thanks in advance!

[runonsentence]

What's your field? How many years have you invested so far? Can you switch to a different advisor without setting back your time to degree?

In all honesty, my first instinct would be to get the hell out and find another advisor. I'm the sort who needs a good working relationship with a mentor in order to be productive. Anyway, I ask you your field because it can sometimes be trickier in different fields of study (e.g., it would probably be easier for me to switch than my partner, because he is in the lab sciences and his stipend comes out of his PI's grant pile, not the department fund like mine does).

[Sigaba]

To protect my privacy....

It may be a bit late for you to worry about privacy given the information you've disclosed about yourself on this BB in your previous posts.

[Xarqin]

If you're already close to getting your Ph.D., you might want to tough it out all the way to the finish line. But if you've barely just begun your program and s/he is already behaving like this, then switch to a different adviser NOW. If you stay longer and eventually still find that you must change advisers, then you would have just wasted more time needlessly. Explore the research of other potential advisers and see if there's someone willing to take you under his/her wing. If you do change, keep it professional and attribute it to some reason other than he or she being a jerk, e.g. some other subtopic interests me more. Leaving on amicable terms sure beats staying on until you "break down and make a complaint", after which there will be permanent bad blood between the two of you. In the mean time, see if your department has a mediator (either another professor or a senior student) with whom you can consult confidentially. What about the other members of your thesis committee (if one exists)?