Bring spouse to visitation weekend?

[smck99]

I'm trying to decide if I should bring my wife with me to visitation weekends. I think it makes sense to go by myself so I can get to know the program without worrying about her being bored or something. I'm also not sure if it would be weird or something-- I want to make a good impression and I'm not sure what professors would think about me bringing someone else. At the same time though, this is really exciting for me, and I'd like to be able to share it with her. Is anyone else having the same problem? What do you think?

[Eigen]

My wife came with me to visit all three of the schools I went to, for exactly the reasons you mentioned.

She explored the city during the day when I was meeting with professors and such, but for the evening meals (usually with professors), she was consistently invited. For all of those meals, the PIs I was eating with brought their spouses/SOs, and it was a nice chance to meet them as well. Honestly, bringing her along was a lot of fun for both of us, and I got to see a very different side of the departments faculty than some of my peers who came solo. It was nice to start off knowing my PIs wife, and for the two of them to have met mine as well. I'm sure there are some people who might look down on it, but I honestly wouldn't want to work at those places. I'm married, and my wife will be coming along to do things with me- it was an important part of my criteria to see how people reacted to that.

For the places I had to fly, the department simply didn't reimburse me for her flight. They were happy to pay for her meals places when we went out, however, and obviously the hotel room was covered.

I wouldn't bring your wife with you to the actual campus part of the visit, but I'm sure she'll have fun exploring the campus, the area around the campus, etc. One place we visited, the department set my wife up some parallel interviews in her prospective department, to get a chance to meet people. She was taking a gap year and applying after, but it was still a good chance for her to get a feel for the department, some of the faculty, and the facilities, so if your wife will also be potentially applying, that's a possibility.

From my current perspective, we've had several visiting students bring their wives/SOs, and it's been nice to get a chance to meet them. We usually do lunches with other grad students (we don't see them then), but lately I've been organizing groups to go out later in the evening, after dinner with the PIs, and they've always come along then and been welcome.

Just my experiences.

[yesnwp]

I'll be bringing my fiance to visitation weekends and she will explore the city while I am visiting and meeting with professors. It is important that both she and I enjoy the city and school (if she will attend there). When I told the departments I will be traveling with my fiance they were very accomodating.

[smck99]

That makes sense. I think I'm just stressing out because I'm still waiting to hear from a bunch of schools so this is just one more thing to worry about. I think I'll bring her with me. Thanks for the advice!

[prolixity]

I brought my wife with me to all of my visitations. In most cases, the schools paid for the single-occupancy hotel room (as opposed to covering only half) and two of the schools paid her airfare. Additionally, when I mentioned that we wanted to explore the area for several days, one of the schools paid for our entire trip (three additional days at an expensive hotel).

You might be able to guess that I picked that school, as financial resources for the students were evidently quite available.