Feeling super-needy...

[spasticlitotes]

Does anyone else feel really vulnerable and needy right now?

[DorindaAfterThyrsis]

Even more than usual...and that's saying a lot, in my case.

Even my cat is finding me needy and telling me to get a fucking life and stop moping in front of my computer.

....at least that's what I assume he is telling me. Sometimes he mumbles when he's angry.

[Stately Plump]

I mostly feel like I check the results board entirely too often.

Whether that makes me vulnerable and needy (*nods head while typing*) I can't say for sure. (<-- sunglasses to hide needy vulnerability)

[spasticlitotes]

Thanks for biting... I left the house yesterday to go to Trader Joe's and today to go to the mall. I'm TiVo-ing random things and sitting in one spot, eating and watching. MAKE THE PAIN END! *sigh*

[LLajax]

Thanks for biting... I left the house yesterday to go to Trader Joe's and today to go to the mall. I'm TiVo-ing random things and sitting in one spot, eating and watching. MAKE THE PAIN END! *sigh*

If it makes you feel better, I only left my house today to go to my boyfriend's house...across the street.

I too am totally vulnerable and needy. Luckily taking it out on GradCafe and not my bf (see- GradCafe is totally good for me).

Edited February 20, 2012 by LLajax

[andsoitgoes161]

On top of feeling completely dejected over being denied admission to two schools and then watching as first round admits pop up on the results survey for three of my other dream programs, I woke up to a crashed external hard drive and total loss of over 80 pages of my master's thesis. To those wanting to question, "Andsoitgoes, why didn't you save on both your laptop and your external drive?", I will preemptively address this concern: my laptop hard drive failed six months ago and I was wary of saving anything to it should that ever happen again, hence the external drive and my sole reliance on its implicit advantageousness. I'm frustrated. I want to scream. I want to cry. In fact I did: I had a public meltdown in the Apple store this afternoon when the Mac Genius peered at me with pitying, but wholly uncomprehending eyes and referred to me a data recovery service. My delicate, bruised, and undesirable-to-PhD-programs ego is toeing the line of nuclear meltdown mode, and if I don't get some good news this week I am going to be in a very dark place.

EDIT: I make the situation sound utterly dire because I similarly want comfort and sympathy, but I do have a month-old edition of my thesis in my email somewhere. Still--in four weeks I had done a lot of work on it, and that version will nowhere near resemble what I had in front of me the last time I looked at it.

Edited February 20, 2012 by andsoitgoes161

[Tinoply]

On top of feeling completely dejected over being denied admission to two schools and then watching as first round admits pop up on the results survey for three of my other dream programs, I woke up to a crashed external hard drive total loss of over 80 pages of my master's thesis. To those wanting to question, "Andsoitgoes, why didn't you save on both your laptop and your external drive?", I will preemptively address this concern: my laptop hard drive failed six months ago and I was wary of saving anything to it should that ever happen again, hence the external drive and my sole reliance on its implicit advantageousness. I'm frustrated. I want to scream. I want to cry. In fact I did: I had a public meltdown in the Apple store this afternoon when the Mac Genius peered at me with pitying, but wholly uncomprehending eyes and referred to me a data recovery service. My delicate, bruised, and undesirable-to-PhD-programs ego is toeing the line of nuclear meltdown mode, and if I don't get some good news this week I am going to be in a very dark place.

I know how you feel! I haven't lost my Master's thesis, but I'm months behind. I am so sorry that happened . . . I lost a couple pages a while ago and wanted to die, so I can only imagine how you're feeling. I'm filled with panic over my thesis; my director and I aren't seeing eye to eye, and we're at an impasse. The other day, I cried because a friend threw a goldfish cracker at me. Needless to say, you're not alone in being on the verge of a major meltdown. Here's hoping things start looking up for you!

[spasticlitotes]

On top of feeling completely dejected over being denied admission to two schools and then watching as first round admits pop up on the results survey for three of my other dream programs, I woke up to a crashed external hard drive and total loss of over 80 pages of my master's thesis. To those wanting to question, "Andsoitgoes, why didn't you save on both your laptop and your external drive?", I will preemptively address this concern: my laptop hard drive failed six months ago and I was wary of saving anything to it should that ever happen again, hence the external drive and my sole reliance on its implicit advantageousness. I'm frustrated. I want to scream. I want to cry. In fact I did: I had a public meltdown in the Apple store this afternoon when the Mac Genius peered at me with pitying, but wholly uncomprehending eyes and referred to me a data recovery service. My delicate, bruised, and undesirable-to-PhD-programs ego is toeing the line of nuclear meltdown mode, and if I don't get some good news this week I am going to be in a very dark place.

EDIT: I make the situation sound utterly dire because I similarly want comfort and sympathy, but I do have a month-old edition of my thesis in my email somewhere. Still--in four weeks I had done a lot of work on it, and that version will nowhere near resemble what I had in front of me the last time I looked at it.

Wanna come over? I'll have a bottle of Crown ready. You can even have your own bottle.

[kikalique87]

I'm frustrated. I want to scream. I want to cry. In fact I did: I had a public meltdown in the Apple store this afternoon when the Mac Genius peered at me with pitying, but wholly uncomprehending eyes and referred to me a data recovery service.

Oh no! I have spent more time than I care to admit crying in the Apple store. I know this is a little too late now, but do you have a Dropbox account? I have killed more flashdrives and hard drives (internal and external) than I care to admit. Dropbox is great because it automatically saves in the cloud. I hope you are able to possibly recover the last 4 weeks of work.

[andsoitgoes161]

I cried because a friend threw a goldfish cracker at me.

I just laughed out loud, and you have made me feel infinitely better.

Wanna come over? I'll have a bottle of Crown ready. You can even have your own bottle.

Yes. Immediately.

Oh no! I have spent more time than I care to admit crying in the Apple store. I know this is a little too late now, but do you have a Dropbox account? I have killed more flashdrives and hard drives (internal and external) than I care to admit. Dropbox is great because it automatically saves in the cloud. I hope you are able to possibly recover the last 4 weeks of work.

I'm going to look into Dropbox, definitely. Given my luck overall, I bet my new Plan B of saving things into my email account will also somehow blow up in my face--I seem to be prone to compromise by everything from failing technology to identity thieving robots who think my GChats are worth perusing. I'm also hoping to get everything back, but the data recovery people I spoke to quoted me $700-$2700 for their services. Which just seems ludicrous.

Edited February 20, 2012 by andsoitgoes161

[Tinoply]

I just laughed out loud, and you have made me feel infinitely better.

Hooray! I feel better, too.

[spasticlitotes]

I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA EVER. So, I was thinking, we should all meet each other. I've never felt connected to people who quite understand this part of my life like this. But then, I realized, hey, we're all creepy strangers, and that would be super not safe. BUT THEN... this BRILLIANT idea came to me like a unicorn in a rainbow haze of dissertation pages...

We should all spend this waiting time coordinating a flash-mob that will be unmasked at the next MLA conference in Boston. WHO'S IN?!?!?!?!

[user_name]

my computer crashed a month after i got my bachelors. i wasn't good at keeping track of things back then, so there were literally two papers i didn't lose--one of which was for an astronomy class.

i guess my rejection list shows that i wrote my writing sample from scratch three years outside of school and without any professor's feedback.

[Hugh10]

I am really glad someone started this board. I just saw the first Yale art history accept on the results board - with no stats!! I am crushed and hopeless. It is the first of the schools I applied to that has posted any accepts and probably my top choice.

@Tinoply: People shouldn't throw crackers! But really, I'm in the same boat -- I'm no where near where I should be in my Master's thesis and it is making me want to cry everytime I sit behind my computer. I feel like I am going through two incredibly difficult experiences at once. And unfortunately, unlike LLajax I am taking out on the BF ... Decisions better come quick, not sure how many more mood swings and meltdowns he can take.

To all those with tech problems... I am so sorry to hear that -- but I am in awe that you are still standing. If that happened to me I wouldn't be on GradCafe right now I would be digging myself a hole. So, you will get through it!! I really really hope they are able to recover all your data @Andsoitgoes

[Timshel]

Dropbox will save your life. I don't know what I'd do without it. You'll never have to worry about losing work again!

[veniente]

I only left my house today to go to my boyfriend's house...across the street.

Swoon. This sounds like every American high school movie EVER. Oh please do accept me land of the free where love flourishes amongst neighbours!

On top of feeling completely dejected over being denied admission to two schools and then watching as first round admits pop up on the results survey for three of my other dream programs, I woke up to a crashed external hard drive and total loss of over 80 pages of my master's thesis.

Oh my gosh, my heart goes out to you, that's sickeningly awful, I'm so sorry to hear about your master's thesis! My MA thesis is due in a week and I couldn't imagine the horror of losing files. *Backs up files this instant*

[Tinoply]

I am really glad someone started this board. I just saw the first Yale art history accept on the results board - with no stats!! I am crushed and hopeless. It is the first of the schools I applied to that has posted any accepts and probably my top choice.

@Tinoply: People shouldn't throw crackers! But really, I'm in the same boat -- I'm no where near where I should be in my Master's thesis and it is making me want to cry everytime I sit behind my computer. I feel like I am going through two incredibly difficult experiences at once. And unfortunately, unlike LLajax I am taking out on the BF ... Decisions better come quick, not sure how many more mood swings and meltdowns he can take.

Yes. All of this. Just last week, my department head told me he doesn't think I'll finish my thesis on time. I'm maybe a quarter of the way done, and I have about a month and a half to finish. Thesis + PhD applications = ALL THE STRESS FOREVER. Good luck with everything! I'm in your corner, even though I don't exactly know you.

[LLajax]

Swoon. This sounds like every American high school movie EVER. Oh please do accept me land of the free where love flourishes amongst neighbours!

Haha, well technically I went from one apartment complex to another apartment complex across the street. The relationship predates the lease.

[girlmostlikely]

Yes. All of this. Just last week, my department head told me he doesn't think I'll finish my thesis on time. I'm maybe a quarter of the way done, and I have about a month and a half to finish. Thesis + PhD applications = ALL THE STRESS FOREVER. Good luck with everything! I'm in your corner, even though I don't exactly know you.

Hey now, I can say that, as of this time last year, I had about 1/4 of my (year-log) thesis finished, and was just about to begin the archival research that made up the bulk of my second chapter. I ended up completing the first draft by the beginning of April and was able to thoroughly revise it early enough to be able to meet awards deadlines. And my thesis may have ended up being about 150 pages (shh, don't tell any adcom members this.)

Granted, I also wasn't applying to PhD programs at the same time..

What with my satisfying collection of acceptances, I am in no position to feel vulnerable right now, though my dream should be notifying on this week and I am on edge! I wouldn't call this program my top choice, because I love the programs I've been accepted to, and ultimately they could very well be better fits. But this is the school that I've been, literally and figuratively, dreaming about for almost three years. It is my Everest!

[ComeBackZinc]

Sometimes I worry that there's some sociology grad student, searching for a dissertation topic, browsing this forum and just licking her chops...

[impending]

Sometimes I worry that there's some sociology grad student, searching for a dissertation topic, browsing this forum and just licking her chops...

...Or a rhetorician

[spasticlitotes]

Are we that bad? This seems like a legitimate condition to me. What's the alternative? Sitting around, sending resumes to jobs we know we don't want?

What's the most pathetic thing anyone has done so far?

[deebee]

a lot of this right now. started off with an acceptance building me up, followed by five very unexpected rejections, now thinking of maybe just sticking to business management consulting.

[spasticlitotes]

a lot of this right now. started off with an acceptance building me up, followed by five very unexpected rejections, now thinking of maybe just sticking to business management consulting.

ARE YOU KIDDING!??!?!?!? YOU GOT IN TO NYU!!!!! YOU MUST GO!!! YOU MUST!!!!! It was my dream school. I would have killed and slept my way there. *sigh* Seriously, NYU has an amazing program with amazing funding and amazing opportunities. Also, it's in New York. = AMAZING. Congrats for getting in - I think it's pretty impressive.

[deebee]

i would gladly trade you NYU for UCLA, but at the same time, my girlfriend has been giving me hourly reminders of how ridiculous i'm being.