The dangers of this site...

[danielcharles87]

So I've spoken with a lot of people in my family and within my circle of friends that always say the same thing: "Why do you torture yourself on that GradCafe site?!"

When I try and answer, it's always a mix of "I can't help it" and "The forums keep me sane." While both of these statements are, in fact, true, this all got me thinking...why do we REALLY come on this site?

Obviously, trends this year show that you can't always count on patterns or acceptance/rejection times to be consistent...we've seen that much. People I talk to (outside of all of this) also question the honesty of those that post about being rejected/accepted. While I'm not sure I know why anyone would lie...isn't it possible people post things falsely? And more so, isn't it possible that people lie within these forums to make themselves feel better, make others feel worse, or seem as if they know what they are talking about (even if they do not necessarily). Even if the intention is not malevolent, a lot of information appears to be mere speculation or completely innacurrate. Oviously, we're all speculating, but I think it makes things worse a lot of the time...

I've tried to stay off of this site but it is very difficult, there's no doubt. These forums are helpful in knowing where we stand, what our chances MAY be, and as a source of comfort if we are discouraged. Lately, though, with the erratic pattern of acceptances and the stream of (excuse me) bullshit that seems to crop out consistently, I wonder if this site is really as helpful as I had originally hoped...

Anyone else empathize?

[avee]

You just posted this, and I am already responding. What does that tell you? This site has contributed to my stress. I wish I just went with the flow and waited, but now I am practically pulling my hair out.

[kbirch]

I can completely empathize. My boyfriend is so opposed to this site and refuses to let me check it whenever we're together (though I manage to get around him usually - can you say "obsession?"). I think it's nice to know that other people are going through the same thing and share information about schools we have in common.

I've considered giving it up for Lent, though, to be honest. We'll see!

[Darth.Vegan]

I think I have learned things from this site that will help my application next year. For all the benefits of this site (and I think there are plenty), there may be more negatives. It's hard to say.

[dizzid]

Our forum has a tendency to lean towards the highest ranked programs which are not necessarily representative of the entire playing field. I happened to notice in the Poli Sci forum they have a thread for people who did not apply to schools in the Top 15. It's getting quite a bit of traffic... Maybe we'd have more diversity in posting if we had a similar thread. Or maybe those who aren't applying to Top 15s will be shamed even furhter away? Maybe they already are?

I've also been wondering about the people who report 150V, 160Q, 5.5AW....not sure if they're getting their V/Q score mixed up or if it's possible to have such a low verbal score and high AW....?

[avee]

This is basically what I need to do instead of being on this forum.

Get out in the open, and just get some fresh air and think.

[Darth.Vegan]

This is basically what I need to do instead of being on this forum.

Get out in the open, and just get some fresh air and think.

Haha, I needed that. Today is not a good day.

[Supernovasky]

Haha, I needed that. Today is not a good day.

Hasn't been much of a good application cycle in general for me.

Pretty much rejected across the board, even LSU was tentative with my acceptance. Waiting to see if I get funding to even consider them.

[RefurbedScientist]

I think I have learned things from this site that will help my application next year. For all the benefits of this site (and I think there are plenty), there may be more negatives. It's hard to say.

I started reading this site regularly more than a year ago. Having not studied sociology nor even considered pursuing a doctorate as an undergrad, this site helped me be the strongest possible applicant I could be (considering I couldn't go back in time and do more things like get RAships, try to publish, etc.). That being said, yes, surrounding yourself with over achievers will always stress you out and, sometimes, push you to excel. It's all about balancing pressure to "keep up" with the necessity to be yourself, know your limitations, and find a place (personally and professionally) that fulfills you. I think gradcafe may be a little sample of grad school, in fact.

[chibuku]

well, my gf definitely doesn't think I should be checking the site so much, but really I'd be stressing out just as much in the dark without it. At least I have some ideas about schools that have probably already rejectged me but not notified, so I can develop my plans a bit further. That said, I wish I had found this site earlier - its most helpful for those who are planning ahead.

[socieconomist]

my partner was all over this site when she applied to grad school... it drove her insane... and so it also drove me insane. so i made myself a deal to not consult this site until after I had applied. and then i only checked here and there up until i wasn't hearing anything back - which now we all know was a trend - but b4 we knew that we all went collectively mad and so that didn't help anything... it just of course made my partner relive her insanity from 2 years ago... which didn't go over well. I'm a VERY confident over-achiever... and so I think if this site made me go crazy, then negatives likely outweigh positives in my opinion. (but that's just my experience)

[sciencegirl]

@dizzidawn... I think its a decent mix of people/tiers honestly. In fact, I was private messaging with some others here about how I think a lot of people in the top 15 school category don't post here at all or feel a bit shamed away, which in all honesty I think is too bad since we could all probably learn a thing or two (or at least future years could) about the process from people in all tiers. Like from those students who were really successful in getting into a lot of top programs, what are their study habits? Note organizing systems? Time management tricks? Networking strategies? I would love to pick their brains, instead of just asking really quickly for "stats."

There were a few of the top 10 schools where 1-2 people just peeped a quick, "I got in," and nothing else, and then don't post very much and I sort of wish this site could crowd-source such knowledge and be more of a resource in that way, instead of people getting defensive about top 50 vs top 200 vs top 10 vs top infinity-what was your GRE score again-blah-blah-blah. I think ultimately we are all scholars of sociology, and the more we can learn from each other, the better. I just wish this site could be a bit better at that part... trying to get all people who don't post to actually feel ok to open up more without too much judgement about their strategies for success and experiences. Heck, we just all want to be better right?

Edited February 22, 2012 by sciencegirl

[splitends]

Like so many sociologists....I'm here for the gossip.

[sleepycat]

I know that my application has been strengthen by what I have seen on here.

I did freak out at all the 4.0s and 1200 gres, but slowly understood that my application, far from perfect, is a good one too. People want measurables and that is not exactly where I shine the brightest.

Based on just a causal perusal of the entire forum, there seems to be a slant towards people applying to top tier programs in general and a bit of poo-pooing of people not applying that high up the ladder.

I feel here I am not well received due to my theoretical bent, which is honestly belittled in the Top 20 anyway. Although hopefully I am solving that issue, by changing disciplines, although that is one of the many things.

I can see where there would be a positive benefit of the collective freak out about waiting in general, but I am starting to think that grad cafe is where we compete, which true we are, rather then collectively coming together and become fellow colleagues. :/

Edited February 22, 2012 by sleepycat