Serious Medical Issues in Grad School

[FertMigMort]

Has anyone else struggled with medical issues in grad school? I was diagnosed with a "benign" tumor right and had to have radiation treatment. I'm super lucky that my amazing grad student insurance covered all of the bills and I got to go to the University's amazing medical school hospital for treatment.

That said, I'm still struggling with some issues related to the tumor and am wondering how others deal with medical situations in grad school. Are there even others out there like me? Where do you get support from? Do you feel like you face a stigma from your department? How has your advisor reacted?

ETA: If you don't want to come out with it on the board, maybe you would be willing to PM me? I know that some people are private about medical stuff and don't want to talk about it.

Edited March 4, 2013 by Eigen

[TropicalCharlie]

I'm sorry to hear about your medical issue but glad to hear that you are receiving a good prognosis and great treatments. While I have not experienced such an issue, I suggest that you contact your school's counseling department. Even though counseling is associated with mental health, they are likely to have resources and offer referrals for other types of services that may benefit you. They may be able to refer you to local and free group counseling offered to students in your position. Also have you checked the American Cancer society web site or Braintumor.org? These sites usually have forums and information on group support near your location.

As for the advisor question, I would think that people would be supportive of you given that this is something that is clearly out of your control. Has it impacted your ability to continue your studies/work in any way?

[Chande]

I'm still in undergrad but I've had a headache 24/7 for the past four years and there's a small cyst in my brain that my neurologist said was unlikely to be causing my problem, but said I should get MRIs done in the future to monitor it. I do have a medication that works well for me but my academics earlier in college were definitely affected before I found a medication that works so well. The professor I do undergraduate research with is very sympathetic and understanding of my condition and I'm still on my father's health insurance so that pretty much covers the costs for it, and the support of my fiance, my parents, and my brothers has really helped as well.

[washdc]

I did.. I took a year off. My school was really lukewarm about the idea.. I guess they think they're incredibly amazing or something because they're in DC and I'm in a Master's for IR; they basically told me to reapply next year (I fought the decision and won; so instead of having to reapply I was given the year off), also I had to pay the entire semester's fees anyway (because I missed the deadline for withdrawing with partial refund, I don't even want to get into that part..).

I feel like my issues have a lot of stigma in society as it is, because for mental health issues most people just assume "get over it" or that I have any control over it or that "it's all in my mind".. it's not really viewed as a "medical" problem per se, even though it definitely is (hell it took me a good year to realize it really IS something that I have no control over) So, I mean, that's something I've struggled with. After the year and getting a lot of help and recovering, I teeter totter on being okay most of the time and not okay sometimes.

It seems like the support for grad students is different than for undergrads. My hand was help through a lot of my undergrad years and I had the full backing of my professors, the medical staff on campus, etc. for turning in work late or what have you - but in grad school it seems like no one wants to really provide the support? I don't know. It could just be my school.

[FertMigMort]

As for the advisor question, I would think that people would be supportive of you given that this is something that is clearly out of your control. Has it impacted your ability to continue your studies/work in any way?

Ha, Charlie, you would think so! Not at all. It made me realize how commodified graduate students are. When my advisor and others in my department (it's not just her shortcoming) found out their first question was always "well you aren't going to have to take time off are you?" Hardly the kind of support I needed. The other suggestions were helpful, but I'm way past that. That was step 1. I'm still struggling to recover while having an "invisible" problem. It's kind of like they want me to pretend that my brain tumor never happened, that the side effects of radiation never happened and I just go on with my life.

I did.. I took a year off. My school was really lukewarm about the idea.. I guess they think they're incredibly amazing or something because they're in DC and I'm in a Master's for IR; they basically told me to reapply next year (I fought the decision and won; so instead of having to reapply I was given the year off), also I had to pay the entire semester's fees anyway (because I missed the deadline for withdrawing with partial refund, I don't even want to get into that part..).

I feel like my issues have a lot of stigma in society as it is, because for mental health issues most people just assume "get over it" or that I have any control over it or that "it's all in my mind".. it's not really viewed as a "medical" problem per se, even though it definitely is (hell it took me a good year to realize it really IS something that I have no control over) So, I mean, that's something I've struggled with. After the year and getting a lot of help and recovering, I teeter totter on being okay most of the time and not okay sometimes.

It seems like the support for grad students is different than for undergrads. My hand was help through a lot of my undergrad years and I had the full backing of my professors, the medical staff on campus, etc. for turning in work late or what have you - but in grad school it seems like no one wants to really provide the support? I don't know. It could just be my school.

Thanks for your insight washdc.

That's more of my experience. Even though having a brain tumor was completely out of my control, my graduate program was pretty non-understanding. I didn't expect the same kind of treatment I had when I was diagnosed in undergrad, but I at least expected them to give a crap. I think I still have a lot of resentment towards the professors that were so non-caring about my situation. My DGS basically said, "well you're on a national fellowship, so we can't kick you out. Try to keep up with your work or we might anyway." I had my treatment over Thanksigiving and had two out of three professors who understood. They let me double up on their assignment, which meant that I finished classes without having to withdraw or drop anything. The next semester was hellish, because I was seeing double for almost 5 months (edema around my optic nerve).

I guess I just needed to hear that my experience wasn't unique. I felt like I had done something wrong that made my program treat me this way, but it sounds like other programs have been like this too. I didn't expect flowers and candy after radiation, but it would have been nice if my DGS would have worked with me to explore all of my options. Something, ya know?

[Sparky]

FWIW, my experience is that individual faculty members have been pretty accomodating (for health problems deemed both "physical" and "mental", which is an important social distinction if not really a medical one) as long as I am able to continue schoolwork. So, for example, when med side effects mean I am 20 minutes late to class because I can't walk in a straight line, much less make it safely to campus, it hasn't been a problem. And nobody said a word to me about skipping out on required departmental obligations last year when I was trying to get a grip on severe depression.

But at the same time, I've seen our medical leave policy, and it's *really* stingy. I don't know what would happen if my health crashed (on any front) and I wound up in need of a 2+ month hospitalization again. I am almost done with coursework so hopefully that will cease to be a concern on that front...

For everyone posting on or reading this thread, let me put in my ongoing plug for checking to see if the counseling center at your school offers a grad student support group. The one here last spring saved my sanity and probably my academic career. I am not wild about the counseling center's policies for individual appointments (they are very stingy in terms of #/allowed visits before they consider you a problem child and make you go off campus, which BTW the grad student health insurance policy LOVES to cover, dontcha know), but the support group was its own animal, and it was amazing.

Oh, ugh, our health insurance...it's so depressing when you can't go to the specialist you NEED because their LOWEST price for a visit is above the maximum your insurance will subsidize part of.

[washdc]

That's more of my experience. Even though having a brain tumor was completely out of my control, my graduate program was pretty non-understanding. I didn't expect the same kind of treatment I had when I was diagnosed in undergrad, but I at least expected them to give a crap. I think I still have a lot of resentment towards the professors that were so non-caring about my situation. My DGS basically said, "well you're on a national fellowship, so we can't kick you out. Try to keep up with your work or we might anyway." I had my treatment over Thanksigiving and had two out of three professors who understood. They let me double up on their assignment, which meant that I finished classes without having to withdraw or drop anything. The next semester was hellish, because I was seeing double for almost 5 months (edema around my optic nerve).

I guess I just needed to hear that my experience wasn't unique. I felt like I had done something wrong that made my program treat me this way, but it sounds like other programs have been like this too. I didn't expect flowers and candy after radiation, but it would have been nice if my DGS would have worked with me to explore all of my options. Something, ya know?

I agree. It's not that I want to be coddled, and spoon-fed, it's just that I want some understanding.. so the very rare and few times that my problems affect my schoolwork I am not deemed to be a "bad" student, but rather that I am have a minor setback. I can't tell you how many times I've received emails from various random faculty members stating how my late registration paper work (I've never in my whole life turned an assignment in late for class, but sometimes I mess up on registering for courses, etc.) has created a HUGE inconvenience for them. Sometimes I just want to say, is signing the paperwork REALLY that big of a deal for you? I mean, if only you knew what I was going through.. how difficult it is, and how I am generally a "good" student 95% of the time.

I don't even want to get started on illness where it's not visible outwardly.. I have struggled so many times with autoimmune deficiency and blood issues. Apparently unless you show up with half a limb missing, no one thinks it's a big deal.

On another note, have you talked to your doctors about it? One thing I did was go to my doctors and ask for notes, and then I presented it to the Dean of my school and said- listen, I need some help here.. here you can see my doctors are saying this is a debilitating medical issue, can you please just make a note of it in case I need future support for whatever reason (missing class, late school work, etc.); they documented it for me. It would be a good idea to have it on your record, just in case.

And I wish you well with your medical issues. It's comforting to hear of others going through the same problems and know we're not alone!

[FertMigMort]

Oh, ugh, our health insurance...it's so depressing when you can't go to the specialist you NEED because their LOWEST price for a visit is above the maximum your insurance will subsidize part of.

That's the one thing I have no complaints about. I had an amazing radiation team with a world class neurosurgeon in a brand new facility and I paid nothing. My mental health insurance covers everything. That has been my saving grace in all of this. If I'd had to deal with insurance bullshit on top of being sick I think I would have had to take a leave of absence.

I agree. It's not that I want to be coddled, and spoon-fed, it's just that I want some understanding.. so the very rare and few times that my problems affect my schoolwork I am not deemed to be a "bad" student, but rather that I am have a minor setback. I can't tell you how many times I've received emails from various random faculty members stating how my late registration paper work (I've never in my whole life turned an assignment in late for class, but sometimes I mess up on registering for courses, etc.) has created a HUGE inconvenience for them. Sometimes I just want to say, is signing the paperwork REALLY that big of a deal for you? I mean, if only you knew what I was going through.. how difficult it is, and how I am generally a "good" student 95% of the time.

I don't even want to get started on illness where it's not visible outwardly.. I have struggled so many times with autoimmune deficiency and blood issues. Apparently unless you show up with half a limb missing, no one thinks it's a big deal.

On another note, have you talked to your doctors about it? One thing I did was go to my doctors and ask for notes, and then I presented it to the Dean of my school and said- listen, I need some help here.. here you can see my doctors are saying this is a debilitating medical issue, can you please just make a note of it in case I need future support for whatever reason (missing class, late school work, etc.); they documented it for me. It would be a good idea to have it on your record, just in case.

And I wish you well with your medical issues. It's comforting to hear of others going through the same problems and know we're not alone!

I like the idea about medical notes. You would think that wearing a stupid eye patch to campus for 6 months in all of my classes would be enough without a note...

I wish you all of the best too. Let's hope that this is the beginning of healthier times for the both of us!

[matt74]

FertMigMort,

I was diagnosed with epilepsy and a benign brain tumor when I was an adolescent. I have taken meds that severely effect cognition ever since. I have a masters degree.

My experience is that in life generally, but more especially in school, when people find out about my illness most of them are somewhat sympathetic. However, they also often think less of me. They think I am not as competent, etc. This is true even of my family. When I have difficulties because of my illness people tend to get impatient.

In my view this is partly because when you have an illness you are a burden, even if only psychologically, to other people. It's a pain for them and they would rather not deal with it. This is not the best attitude, but it is understandable. Perhaps more importantly, most of them can't relate at all to your situation - how many people do you know with brain tumors? So, most people have no idea what it is like, and that's why they don't understand. They can't. It's not their fault, any more that being sick is our fault.

In grad school I noticed a willingness to make some adjustments, but a resistance to viewing me equally in spite of my situation. The professor may be all for me personally, but academically not so much. This is somewhat justified, because you are expected to do the same work. It's somewhat unfair, because you are being judged by criteria that are often arbitrary and intended for healthy people. The reality is that we have limitations and these limitations sometimes conflict with expectations. If your professor knows that you have "special" cerebellum, and judges you poorly for it, every little failure will only reinforce that judgement. I always felt that things went best when I did not seek special treatment unless it was absolutely necessary (e.g. I ended up in the hospital). I think it is best to explain only as much as absolutely necessary, many people don't want to hear about it anyhow. Even if you need more time for an assignment or something, don't go in saying "I have a brain tumor...", but just ask if you can have some extra time, and if they ask tell them you have been having some health issues. The reality is that these sorts of things don't fall under "diversity", and you may be judged rather harshly for them. Personally I found seeking "accommodations" terribly depressing. Keep it more professional. I don't know if that is the best solution, but I hope something I said may be of use. Take advantage of the health insurance.

- Matthew

Edited May 5, 2012 by matt74

[annieca]

I know as someone with 2 sleep disorders that professors/employers can be really not very understanding of the situation. I feel like at times I am required to explain what both conditions are and why that means I can't be up the same amount of time other people are.

And I know it's going to affect my grad school work. My sister (no sleep disorder) is regularly up until midnight-1 am doing reading for classes/grading, etc. I can't do that. I know that I'm going to have to learn to cope a lot better than I have in undergrad but still, it's going to be a challenge.