tell school you'll accept from where else you got accepted?

[csApplicant]

i'll start working with an advisor immediately at the school i plan on accepting from.

i did let him know that i was talking with other schools. i'd prefer to not share with my advisor or my school who else i was talking to. how do i avoid this awkward situation if it comes up?

[engguy]

first off, it took me about five minutes to make sense of the syntax of your initial question. you seem to be asking if there's a polite way to avoid telling the school you eventually plan to attend where else you got accepted?

sure, but i don't see why that's necessary. if it comes up, just be a grown-up about it: tell them. it's not like you're dealing with a jealous husband who's going to fly into a rage over your other suitors. schools know, and expect, that their top candidates will have other offers to consider. they're not going to be shocked or upset by this --- even if it comes up during the recruitment process!

[IvyHope]

If you've already been accepted, there's no reason to keep it a secret, is there?

[rising_star]

If your research interests are pretty specific, they probably already know where else you've applied. I was really honest with programs when visiting about where else I was looking, in part because people knew.

[csApplicant]

my fear was - when they asked waht schools i was applying to, i named top 10. they seemed pleased with that.

i didn't get accepted to top 10, nor interview with top 10. so really the question was what do you say when you're asked what schools you talked to/got accepted to and none of them were the top 10? sorry if i wasn't clear.

i'd really not like to announce that i didn't get any good offers or that i didn't get accepted to top 10, especially since this particular school is right up there with top 10? i know it's not a big deal, but there's a specific reason i asked this question, which i'm not willing to disclose on here.

[engguy]

i know it's not a big deal, but there's a specific reason i asked this question, which i'm not willing to disclose on here.

Given this -- which is totally understandable, whatever your personal reasons -- I don't see how anyone can really answer your question. Nevertheless, my sense remains that you should not worry about it too much. Granted, we seem to be in entirely different fields, but I have yet to hear of a school that would somehow look down on applicants who do not get accepted at other top schools. It happens to everyone. And if your concern is that they would hold it over your head as some kind of bargaining chip -- "come here, we're the best option for you" -- well, I doubt they would give you that kind of hard sell, either. An experienced recruitment officer knows that this is a dance, not a cold-call sales pitch, and other offers from lesser-ranked programs might look more attractive to you for a variety of reasons.

Anyway, good luck with this.

[rising_star]

You don't have to tell them where else you applied. I was referring to saying where you got accepted. Schools know you applied to other schools and they don't much care whether you got in or didn't.