Out of the blue -- Help!

[dherres]

Hi everyone,

This morning I received an email from a faculty at one of my top choices that I was sure had rejected me earlier in the week. He wants to call to "talk about where we are in the grad student selection process and where you might be in your progress toward admission to schools." We've scheduled to talk at 2:30 this afternoon EST. Needless to say, I'm feeling more than a little bit jumpy and nervous. I was wondering if anyone has ideas as to what I could expect so I might be better able to prepare myself. I assume that he'll ask where among my preferences this school lies and to what other schools I've applied. Do you think this might be a more formal interview and they're still trying to make a decision as to the quality of my application? (Note: this school doesn't usually require interviews.) Should I ask how many positions there are available and if this means I'm being waitlisted, or would that be inappropriate? What else? What else?

AHHHHHH!! **panic panic pant pant*

[socialpsych]

This is a GOOD sign. Be prepared to talk about your research interests and your background, and have some familiarity with the recent publications of people you would like to work with. Also, yes, they will probably ask where this school ranks among your preferences--sounds like it is really a top choice so there is no need to even prepare a diplomatic answer. Just don't hold back in letting him know it is a top choice, haha, because this can only help you.

I wouldn't be too aggressive in asking about your chances. I mean, once the prof brings it up I think it would be appropriate to ask, but I wouldn't, for example, respond to "Do you have any questions for me?" with "Yes--am I waitlisted?!". It sounds to me as though he is planning to bring it up himself anyway.

[nandelle]

Wow, that's awesome. I'm not sure what you should expect (which makes this kind of a pointless post, doesn't it?) but it definitely sounds like they are still interested in you. I hope it goes well!

[dragynally]

First off CONGRATS!!! Secondly just treat it like a regular interview. Have some questions prepared and just be yourself...Good luck

[Yellow#5]

Not to be cynical, but it sounds like they want to figure out how small a funding package they can offer you/what else you have on the table.

The good news is, it sounds like they want you.

I would stall IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY if he tries to lock you in to a figure or an unequivocal sign that you really want to go there. Keep saying they are "one" of your top choices and say you really look forward to meeting the excellent, wonderful faculty and seeing their beautiful campus -- before you decide.

Also, don't give him too much info about other offers. Just say it's early and you haven't heard. If he suggests a low number of funding, thank him most appreciatively and "say, that's a good place to start, I hope if I get a higher offer from somewhere down the road, your school will match it, because I'd hate to think I couldn't attend your amazing school because of financial considerations."

But good luck, because it sounds like you're in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[engguy]

I would stall IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY if he tries to lock you in to a figure or an unequivocal sign that you really want to go there. Keep saying they are "one" of your top choices and say you really look forward to meeting the excellent, wonderful faculty and seeing their beautiful campus -- before you decide.

They can't "lock you in to a figure," nor can they force some sort of commitment to their school. I seriously doubt that's what this admit person is looking for. If so, it's probably illegal. I agree that you should be upbeat, positive, interested... but ultimately not make any outlandish promises. Again, though, I really doubt they'll prompt you for one.

Also, don't give him too much info about other offers. Just say it's early and you haven't heard. If he suggests a low number of funding, thank him most appreciatively and "say, that's a good place to start, I hope if I get a higher offer from somewhere down the road, your school will match it, because I'd hate to think I couldn't attend your amazing school because of financial considerations."

Seriously advise against this. This is not a negotiation for a job on Wall St. (thank god!). Thank him/her for whatever offer he/she makes, and tell him/her you look forward speaking again soon. Don't sound disappointed, angry, over-anxious, etc. Be polite and get back to them later.

[Yellow#5]

I'm not suggesting they're trying to "lock you in" in the legal sense, but they are trying to get a sense of what you want.

If you reveal that you are just desperate to be accepted by anyone, they won't be at all motivated to woo you.

(It's not like Wall Street, more like dating. We're all desperate to be accepted, just trying not to show it).

[Tonights]

I

(It's not like Wall Street, more like dating. We're all desperate to be accepted, just trying not to show it).

You've got it right on the nose there, Yellow.

I agree with being extremely thankful-sounding with whatever they offer.

[Yellow#5]

I think this poster is probably in, so he/she should be appreciative and really genuinely happy, but that doesn't mean telegraph your intentions.

Grad school negotiating is NOTHING like wall street. On wall street, once you have the right pedigree, you can screw up, do nothing, get your car service and all your meals paid for by the firm all year and take home hundreds of thousands of dollars to boot. Often they raise your salary out of the blue, even without a negotiation, just because some other similar firm raised theirs.

Grad school is the opposite. Getting an advisor motivated to go to bat for you is the difference between maybe 16k a year and 18k a year. That 2k makes a big difference if you're locking yourself in to poverty for 5-7 years. On wall street, if you get 160k or 260k, what's the real difference to your life? You eat the same 100 dollar sushi lunch on friday either way.

[engguy]

i agree in principle... but i just think coming across like, "i hope you're able to match the offers i get down the road" is not the right approach, imo.

first, you don't know what those offers will be; second, there's a difference between getting someone to go to bat for you for that extra 2k and sounding like a greedy bastard. even if you need to be a bit of a greedy bastard in the final analysis.

last year i asked my admit contact person point blank if she could improve on the offer. this was during the recruitment visit. she said no. it was a straightforward conversation, not at all awkward; i did not mention the financial side of offers from other schools, tho she knew i had them. later the DGS did contact me to ask about my other offers, and then upped the package considerably. this was maybe a week before april 15. so i think there are other ways to make it clear to them that you have other things on the table, and perhaps the time to do that is closer to decision time.

good luck!

[socialpsych]

i think there are other ways to make it clear to them that you have other things on the table, and perhaps the time to do that is closer to decision time.

I completely agree.

What I have heard, from all the profs and grad students giving me advice throughout this process, is that it is GOOD to let schools know how interested you are. Especially this year when funding is so tight, schools really don't want to make offers to people they don't think will accept. I have also had one interviewer tell me fairly explicitly that whether or not I got an offer would depend in large part on my interest in the program.

I'm not saying you should overstate your interest or pre-commit or anything like that; but wouldn't it be a bummer if they ended up not making you an offer because they weren't sure you were really interested?

Once the offer has been made, then I think you have the upper hand and can negotiate (especially if you have offers from other schools too). But I don't think now is necessarily the time. And also, I don't want to be a downer, but I think there is a possibility that you are not in but high on the waitlist and they're trying to figure out how high on the waitlist you should be. Just a possibility! You may well also be in.

[engguy]

And also, I don't want to be a downer, but I think there is a possibility that you are not in but high on the waitlist and they're trying to figure out how high on the waitlist you should be. Just a possibility! You may well also be in.

Something that occurred to me, too. I think there's a lot of this going on this year, as dept's are devastated by the financial crisis and don't have as many plums to give out, but still want to find spots for everyone. Be prepared to hear something like, "we really want you and we can all but guarantee you funding, but we just don't know yet." so they want to gauge your interest and get a sense of what might work for you if and when funding comes through.

at any rate, you'll know soon enough.

[IvyHope]

Something that occurred to me, too. I think there's a lot of this going on this year, as dept's are devastated by the financial crisis and don't have as many plums to give out, but still want to find spots for everyone. Be prepared to hear something like, "we really want you and we can all but guarantee you funding, but we just don't know yet." so they want to gauge your interest and get a sense of what might work for you if and when funding comes through.

I think this is the most accurate assumption of what's going on. It's not like negotiating a business deal- you can't expect to talk numbers with the grad programs of your choice lol. If they offer you a $1500 stipend and tuition, it's probably because that's all they have budget for, and it's the same thing they're offering everyone. If you say no, they are probably more likely to turn you down and offer it to the next schmuck on the list.

Departments are being extra careful about their yields this year, due to the fact that they can't afford as many students. This means they can't offer as many spots, so they have to tread carefully.

[Yellow#5]

Something that occurred to me, too. I think there's a lot of this going on this year, as dept's are devastated by the financial crisis and don't have as many plums to give out, but still want to find spots for everyone. Be prepared to hear something like, "we really want you and we can all but guarantee you funding, but we just don't know yet." so they want to gauge your interest and get a sense of what might work for you if and when funding comes through.

I agree with this too, so whatever the conversation, I agree the most important thing is to show enthusiasm.

[dherres]

Thank you thank you everyone for your feedback and support! It actually was less of an interview, and more of a "hang in there, we're still making decisions, but you're at the top tier." Very informal, he requested that I update him when I receive other notices from my other schools (and gave me his cell phone number -- is that common?), and where else I've applied (not surprising). We chatted about the program, I mentioned several aspects that I was very excited about that were unique to the program and that they're very much towards the top of my list. No actual offer, but I'm feeling better about this than I ever thought I would.

Damn, and last night I thought I was rejected flat-out.

I think there's hope for us all! Hang in there, you guys..... based on what I've read in people's posts, their insight, motivation, dedication, and support, I think everyone here as a good chance at acceptances.

[socialpsych]

Thank you thank you everyone for your feedback and support! It actually was less of an interview, and more of a "hang in there, we're still making decisions, but you're at the top tier."

Yay!!!! That sounds promising. Congratulations!

[Yellow#5]

Good luck! It's a tough year this year.

They wouldn't be bothering to call you at all, if they didn't think you were a good candidate!

[Tonights]

Hooray! "Hang in there" is spectacular advice for everyone on this forum, I think.

[psycholinguist]

Agreed. Congrats!