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Posted

Okay, it's like this: for the last four years, I've wanted to go for the Ph.D. I was absolutely positive that's what I wanted to do. It was my dream. I went and got a master's just so that I could better prepare myself and improve my admissions chances. I took the GRE TWICE. I spent two thousand dollars on applications alone. Now, I've gotten accepted to one of my top choice programs.

...And I'm suddenly starting to doubt that I want to do the Ph.D. at all anymore.

I know. It's insane.

I think what really happened was that I got so burned out from my master's that I'm just dreading having to do even more work in this field. I love the field I'm in, but I'm starting to question whether I love it enough to devote the rest of my life to writing papers about it, possibly with no job at the end of the Ph.D. tunnel. I'm really wavering on it. I still haven't found out about funding yet, and my family's advice to me is that if I do get funding, I should go for one year and see how I like it. I can always leave the program after a year if I'm unhappy. Do you think this is a good idea? Has this eleventh-hour crisis happened to anyone else?

Thanks for reading, and congrats to you all!

Posted

I think getting cold feet is pretty normal. It ties into the impostor syndrome. You start off questioning how you got in, and quickly spiral to "do I really want to do this?" I'd say having the hutzpah to apply to MA programs, stick with an MA program, and then go through the application process again for PhD programs is your indication of how much you actually want to do this. Take a deep breath, and dive in!

Posted

Cold? Try frigid, minus bazillion degrees!

I got accepted to my dream school too and I don't know whether I want to go ahead with the enrollment or defer/deny for a year and hopefully win the Fulbright scholarship.

Posted

Thanks for your responses! Physwimic, you bring up a good point and have reminded me of all the stuff I went through to get here, so thanks :)

Babar_Suleman, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one! I wish you luck in your decision and hope it all works out for you!

Posted (edited)

I've been accepted to four schools during this run of applications (I did the application gauntlet again this year after being resoundingly rejected by all schools last year) and suddenly, today, while walking through the hospital (the lab I work in now is connected to a hospital) I started thinking:

"Oh, crap, maybe I should go to med school"

I think it's natural to have big worries about any big decision -- it's totally normal (people freak out right before they get married too!). Personally, I think that you've gotten this far because of your interest in the field. Is it possible you don't love it enough to make a career of it? Of course it is, but you won't know until you try.

Edited by SlickMcFavorite
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