Admitted - Anyone else feel anxious?

[peppermint.beatnik]

Everyone seems to be succumbing to IS. What if you don't feel that way? I certainly don't relish in my accomplishments, quite the opposite. In fact, getting my BA and MA were quite anti-climatic; just a means to another end.

However, I don't feel like a fraud, or undeserving in any way. I got to where I am because I put in the time and energy. I'm sure there's lots of brilliant people in the world that don't have the inclination to put themselves through 10+ years of post-secondary education.

I realize that it is an internalized state of mind, but I'm wondering if there's something wrong if I don't have it

[socialpsych]

I don't think I have IS. I've been preparing for my program of study for a long time and I have lots of reasons to think I'm prepared.

That said, I am still feeling anxious. Getting a PhD is scary even for the prepared. Now that I've officially committed to my program, I'm starting to realize how much work is ahead of me! :shock:

[miratrix]

Yeah, I don't have it either, I don't think I'm a stunning genius but I definitely think I'm smart enough to do the work. It is a scary thing though, thinking about committing to one project for six years and requiring so much self-motivation...I am definitely nervous about that too!

[abluedude]

I'm confident that once I've read what they want me to read and am in the room, my mind will be fine. What I'm worried about is making the move from here to there without completely going under (in debt). It's been a balancing act all year so far, and starting school in early September, even if I teach both summer terms at my current university, will leave me "unemployed" for about a month. That's no pay for that month, then possibly 15 days to one month after arriving at school.

That keeps me up at night. Get me there, get me in a classroom, I'm fine. But get me there....

[GoBears80]

I am right there with you, abluedude. I'm so excited to start school again, and to finally study EXACTLY what I'm interested in! But simultaneously, I am terrified. I'm moving from one of the least-expensive cities on the east coast, to what I've gathered is the most expensive (NYC). I have a panic attack every time I go on Craigslist to look at apartments, because the stipend I'll be getting from my program will - if I'm lucky - be just barely enough to live on. For now, I am working two jobs, saving every penny I can, and hoping for the best...

[abluedude]

Glad to know I'm not the only one rubbing two pennies together to stay warm. I just picked up an additional 2 classes, so I'm teaching 5 now and as many as I can get during the summer (but only two solid so far). Finding work is impossible because everyone needs it, so although I used to be able to get as many classes as I could handle, I'm lucky now to get enough to pay the bills. That said, I'm doing what I want, talking about what I love, and opening little freshman minds -- and starting next semester, I too will study exactly what I want funded for 5 years. That's why we do this.

Good luck to you!