Ethical dilemma about leaving one school for another

[AbaNader]

I am in a quandry and would like people's thoughts on it. I think more of it is a personal ethical dilemma rather than a real problem.

I finished my Masters at a top 10 school and got into a fairly selective PhD program at a research institute (not in the rankings or anything). The pay is unheard of in academia (esp. with multiyear support), the benefits are amazing (we get dental!) and my adviser is the coolest I've worked with so far. The project is great too (v. cool) with real implications (unlike much of the engineering research these days).

Now I before I got accepted and took up the position at this research institute, I applied to a bunch of schools and recently got accepted to a selective top 10-15 school which has all the makings of a great education. They also offered me a double fellowship and really want me to attend. More critically, however, the person who wants me to do research is someone I've wanted to work with for quite a while and the research is at the heart of my interests. I can't say the same for my current position (the research area is interesting but I can't see myself doing it in 10-15 years). I am now considering leaving my current position and going to this other school for my PhD mainly for the research area and the opportunities afterwards (better reputation, more access to industry, etc.)

I've talked to my current adviser about it and he recommends I ignore the material benefits and follow my passion, that there is no pressure from him, etc.

My question: Is it right for me to pull out after a semester of this program and after he already funded me for travel, etc.? In mentioning that there is no pressure, he said that the student-adviser relation is based on trust so he doesn't want to wish something he wouldn't wish for himself - and that is really how he has acted so far; going out of his way to help me even when it would not be in his best interest. But shouldn't that standard be expected from me as well? The idea of this type of "disloyalty" (if that is what you want to call it), is really eating me up inside and I can't get myself to do it, even if I did decide to leave (it is not a given just yet).

Has anyone else been in a similar position (recently)? Your thoughts?

[spacecase618]

I mean, your adviser seems cool with it. I'm sure they can understand finding a topic you find more interesting and you seem to make it clear that its not anything personal against him. Just tell your advisor what you wrote here. Do what you want and what you find most interesting, not something your doing out of a sense of obligation to someone. If that means staying, great! If that means going to the other program, thats great too! Again, your adviser seems very understanding of the situation.

[v834]

I am in a quandry and would like people's thoughts on it. I think more of it is a personal ethical dilemma rather than a real problem.

I finished my Masters at a top 10 school and got into a fairly selective PhD program at a research institute (not in the rankings or anything). The pay is unheard of in academia (esp. with multiyear support), the benefits are amazing (we get dental!) and my adviser is the coolest I've worked with so far. The project is great too (v. cool) with real implications (unlike much of the engineering research these days).

Now I before I got accepted and took up the position at this research institute, I applied to a bunch of schools and recently got accepted to a selective top 10-15 school which has all the makings of a great education. They also offered me a double fellowship and really want me to attend. More critically, however, the person who wants me to do research is someone I've wanted to work with for quite a while and the research is at the heart of my interests. I can't say the same for my current position (the research area is interesting but I can't see myself doing it in 10-15 years). I am now considering leaving my current position and going to this other school for my PhD mainly for the research area and the opportunities afterwards (better reputation, more access to industry, etc.)

I've talked to my current adviser about it and he recommends I ignore the material benefits and follow my passion, that there is no pressure from him, etc.

My question: Is it right for me to pull out after a semester of this program and after he already funded me for travel, etc.? In mentioning that there is no pressure, he said that the student-adviser relation is based on trust so he doesn't want to wish something he wouldn't wish for himself - and that is really how he has acted so far; going out of his way to help me even when it would not be in his best interest. But shouldn't that standard be expected from me as well? The idea of this type of "disloyalty" (if that is what you want to call it), is really eating me up inside and I can't get myself to do it, even if I did decide to leave (it is not a given just yet).

Has anyone else been in a similar position (recently)? Your thoughts?

I wouldn't look at it as disloyalty to anyone, but rather integrity to yourself and what you want to do with the rest of your life. It's in your advisor's own best interest in the long run as well. Think of it this way, he is better off having someone working for him who absolutely loves and is passionate about what he is doing; he might not be happy that your are leaving, but he will be happy for you and ultimately have someone working under him who wants to be there and isn't there because they feel obligated. The person who your funding will go to if you leave (it's not like it's lost; it will go to someone else) will now get the chance to follow their passions and you get to work on something you are passionate about. It seems to me like it would be good for everyone in the long run. PhD is a big choice and a long track; it's best to do exactly what you want and are passionate about if you can!

[HassE]

I honestly hate this "old-school" mentality of "loyalty" and what not when I read these forums. If a research program is not the best fit for you and you are open and honest with whoever you are discussing this with, then please everyone quit with the "well i don't want to be disloyal and leave". People we are talking not only about the next 4-6 years of your life, but the rest of your entire career.

How many times have we heard of a Professor accepting a job at a more prestigious better university leaving behind his PhD students? This happens all the time, yet we have so many people that would rather ruin their own dreams and passions just to satisfy their own Professor's dreams.

My best advise? Leave the program and go to wherever you feel would be the best fit for you. If that is at another school, then don't hold yourself back or your dreams for someone else. As long as your honest, and you have been thus far with your Advisor, then what are you worried about? There are thousands of applications that can EASILY replace your position with him, he'll find a replacement in no time, especially since you said you've only been there for a semester.

Edited March 28, 2012 by HassE

[AbaNader]

Thanks for the advice everyone, especially v834 and spacecase618.

HassE: there is some value to living up to your own standards of integrity. Its an internal dilemma rather than an external one. Regardless of how anyone behaves, I decided a long time ago to hold myself up to my own standards rather than get lost in some relativistic swamp (oh he did this too or she did this too). I am sure most other people decide the same at some point of their life or another.

I've accepted the offer.