Writing Sample on God's Tyranny in Paradise Lost

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I don't know how orthodox it is to request people to take a look at my writing sample, but I thought I might give it a shot!

I was going to post it here but, being paranoid and since it's somewhat nearing application time, I thought I should hold back.

Anyone want to read my introduction (just 1 page) of an undergraduate essay I've been re-tooling on Milton and God's Tyranny?

I know the subject has been talked to death and analysed quite fully... this was an assigned essay with a specific topic designed to test our close-reading abilities.

You can be as vicious as possible! I need good, honest opinions about my writing.

Thanks in advance