Acceptable Commute Times to Visit Friends

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

What do you guys think is a good commute time to see friends and relatives say, once a month? What would be acceptable for every week?

[ladybug3]

I go visit my family that is a 4 hour drive from me about once a month. If I was visiting once a week, they'd probably have to be within 2 hours driving distance..

[mandarin.orange]

I was visiting my family and partner 6 hours (on a good day) away, roughly once a month, throughout my first year. I found this to be too much. It was very stressful on me, my finances, and car. Maintaining the car, insurance, its payments, and parking/traffic tickets (!!!) has been a huge stretch, financially, so I am working on selling the car. Once this is done, I should be able to afford flights every other month and will try Amtrak (though this doubles travel time) for longer trips over the holidays and breaks, and still save more money. Plus, despite lots of driving experience on my part, I grow increasingly concerned about safety. I believe the vast majority of motorists are never going to give up their need to fuss with cell phones while driving.

During my MS, I had an LDR with my college sweetie who was in a city 2 hours away. The r'ship dissolved for other reasons, but while it was going strong, we could generally make a visit work out 2-3 weekends out of each month, and it was much more doable than the current 6-hour situation I'm in.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

It depends on how fun your friends are.

[ktel]

I regularly take about an hour just to get from my apartment to my department, so that puts things in perspective for me. When I was playing rugby it wasn't uncommon to drive 3-5 hours one way just to go play a game and then drive back. 2 hours would be doable for me to want to visit weekly.

[Usmivka]

My daily commute on public transit can take an hour and a half! But I don't see friends regularly unless they live within 30 minutes of either end of my commute. More than that and there are better ways to spend my time than in additional transit.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

OK, I guess the consensus is about 5 hours drive is too far for a once per month visit but 2 hours is definitely doable for once per week.

The potential damage to the car and the amount of oil it uses is indeed an issue. But if there's no train to the other place, or both places are in the middle of nowhere, that's bad.

[rising_star]

During my MA program, the person I was dating lived an hour away. One of us made the drive basically every weekend. This was especially reasonable when you consider that there were people that lived in my city and commuted daily to work in my partner's city. That said, I had family and friends living 6 hours away during my MA and only drove to see them for the holidays and in the summer.

Honestly, I don't often have totally free weekends with no plans, so that makes me less likely to just drive to see friends or family that live a few hours away. I'd rather spend that time at home, cooking, cleaning, getting work done, etc.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

During my MA program, the person I was dating lived an hour away. One of us made the drive basically every weekend. This was especially reasonable when you consider that there were people that lived in my city and commuted daily to work in my partner's city. That said, I had family and friends living 6 hours away during my MA and only drove to see them for the holidays and in the summer.

Honestly, I don't often have totally free weekends with no plans, so that makes me less likely to just drive to see friends or family that live a few hours away. I'd rather spend that time at home, cooking, cleaning, getting work done, etc.

thank you. 1 hour is fine. you seem to live in a big city. i think its more manageable on freeways, on rural country dirt roads its probably not so manageable.