Review the last para of my SOP, in-here I've added the reason for my low grades. Let me knw hw is it..?

[Emin]

This is the para:

I have had fall out on my grades through the semesters which was due to tragic demise of my close friend in a road accident, which affected me to the core. But slowly along with the support of my family I came out of it, bringing alongside into terms my friend’s family. I have since then grown emotionally as a mature person. And emphatically I am onto upgrading my grades. I am aware that your university expects high standards from its students. On my part, I can assure you of my sincerity and hard work. I am confident that my enthusiasm will enable me to live up to your expectations. I sincerely hope you find my application worthy of your institution and grant me admission with adequate financial assistance.

Thnakyou for ua responses in advance,..!

[MoJingly]

This is not the correct location to post this question, but I will bite. I suggest having a native English speaker go over your SOP once you finalize it. There are some pretty easy grammar fixes but you want to be sure they are taken car of. (I'm assuming the rest of the document reads similarly).\

Some people on this forum would argue that you shouldn't even mention low grades in your essay because it will draw attention to it. You're trying pretty hard to sell yourself here, and there is a hint of desperation. "...I can assure you of my sincerity and hard work. I am confident that my enthusiasm will enable me to live up to your expectations" sounds more desperate than something like "I am enthusiastic to work hard and pursue Clinical Pharmacy at [name of university]." Use as many specifics as possible. Instead of saying "your university" give the name of the University. Finally, I would just cut off the last sentence, especially the part about "adequate financial assistance." If they like your application they will give you financial assistance. Don't start bargaining for it now.

Also, one last thought. When somebody says they are confident, I almost always perceive arrogance. Confidence is yourself isn't something you can exclaim; you have to show it. The rest of your SOP hopefully did.

Good luck!

[fuzzylogician]

This is not the correct location to post this question, but I will bite.

Location fixed.

OP - as MoJingly says, you should have someone look over your English. There are several instances of awkward or incorrect wording. As for the content, if you've decided you really need to address your low GPA I would suggest cutting half this paragraph and spending only one sentence on this issue. An entire paragraph is excessive. Cut the sentence: And emphatically I am onto upgrading my grades. I am aware that your university expects high standards from its students and possibly everything after it. If you keep the last couple of sentences, you should rewrite them to fit in with the first one; don't mention the "adequate financial assistance" part and also keep the self-assurances to a minimum. Your saying you're confident you'll succeed will only have limited success in impressing the adcom.

[ridofme]

I agree that you should have a native English speaker review your statement.

I also agree with fuzzylogician's suggestion that you should keep this as brief and direct as possible. You might consider an addendum, instead of wasting space in your statement of purpose, where you are supposed to be focusing on your strengths.What you should actually say, I think, depends on how many bad semesters you are trying to explain away, and how low your grades were. If you got a few Cs one semester, then perhaps it's not even worth addressing at all. If you truly did terribly one term, but then quickly rebounded the next semester, then maybe a sentence or two, like:

"My grades dropped in semester X because I was grieving the death of my close friend, who died unexpectedly in a car accident. It was a painful period for me, but I was able to regain my focus and bring up my grades the next semester."

If you had a few semesters of bad grades, then maybe add a third sentence about the long grieving process. But I wouldn't do any more than that.

Good luck.

[professionaldishwasher]

I'd add that the lines underscoring your sincerity, enthusiasm, and hard work might even backfire on you since admissions committes are generally looking for evidence a student can succeed, not just that they'll try really, really hard. No amount of enthusiasm and good intentions could make up for a person's inability to swim, for example, and I'd bet that whoever is in charge of hiring the lifeguards will care more about the latter than the former. It's probably better to be more implicit and point instead to your latest acheivements which will do the talking for you by demonstrating your current preparedness.