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Humorous Signs You've Been Rejected...


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Because it is late and I need a thesis break, I thought I'd come up with the top ten ways to tell you've been rejected. Feel free to add...its all in good fun.


10. You call the university but they've mysteriously disappeared off the face of the planet.

9. The administrative assistant for the department starts suggesting that you look for housing...in the next state over.

8. You get an an envelope with a piece of paper that says, "Dear Totally Unqualified Applicant..."

7. It is September and you still haven't heard back.

6. A huge press release surfaces that claims that the university is interested in international students...but only wants the ones from Namibia.

5. You call and the administrative assistant can't stop laughing.

4. When you check the status site your profile comes up as, "hidden in the basement"

3. Your would-be chair shakes your hand during the interview process and says, "Aren't you the kid who I caught my son/daughter drinking with in high school?"

2. Your calls to the department mysteriously disconnect whenever the administrative assistant goes to look up your status.

1. You realize that the applicant pool included the Prince of Wales, Jenna Bush, and Angie Jolie.

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10 ) Everyone who wrote you a letter of rec just sniggers now everytime you encounter them.

9 ) You wake up one morning to realize that you never actually filed your application in the first place.

8 ) They send you a back a job application and it's not for a TA or RAship or for their institution at all.

7 ) The graduate coordinator calls and asks if you got confused and were trying to apply to the university's undergraduate program.

6 ) They mail you back your application with red pen editing marks all over it.

5 ) When you go to a conference and see the professors from the school you applied to, they all start laughing when you step out of the room.

4 ) All the rest of the folks at the conference smile at you strangely for the rest of the event and you get the impression that there's a joke being passed around.

3 ) They call and tell you that you needed to get your decision back to them by April 15th... of last year.

2 ) The status site just stops letting you login.

1 ) They refund your application fee on your credit card and you never hear from them again.

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3. they tell you you're not a good fit because they just don't have any professors in the field of "you suck"

2. your rejection letter has an accompanying laugh track

1. next year's updated admissions requirements include the requirement that the applicant not be you

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  • [*:39ulqqd6]They hire Ted Knight from Caddyshack to make rejection calls because of his expertise in delivering the line "The world needs ditchdiggers too."
    [*:39ulqqd6]They DO offer you a position -- on the janitorial staff.

[yes I know he passed, but I don't let reality get in the way of bad jokes]

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5. Even your cat threw up when it came upon your application lying around.

4. You receive a "We're sorry for your loss" condolences card in the mail.

3. The members of the admissions committee have always "just stepped out for a meeting" every time you call.

2. The admin assistant can suddenly only speak Mandarin after you give your name.

1. You receive a "friendly" email from the school with the phone number for their Crisis & Counseling Center, as well as a list of some of today's more effective antidepressant medications, "just in case you need it."

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