TulipOHare Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 One of the places I applied (I forget which, it was either NYU or Columbia) had a blank in the application asking you to list the other places you were applying... I was honest. I'm a bad liar anyway.
socialpsych Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Okay, apparently I'm the only person with this experience, so I am guessing it is pretty uncommon, but it did happen to me pretty consistently and I'd like to share. I got an offer from School X, word traveled, and since then I have been written off or almost-written-off at almost every other program I applied to. Everyone seems to think it is a no-brainer that I am going to School X, and I have been told over and over again on campus visits that I probably won't get an offer or almost didn't get an offer because everyone figures I'm not really interested in schools other than X. For me, it happens to be fine because School X was my top choice and I am (in the end) going there. But everyone overestimated my certainty and it has really hurt me throughout the process. If X had not been my top choice, I guess I could have sent out much more desperate signals to the other schools or something, but I did try to make it clear at each school that I had not made a decision yet, and was also clear on my reasons for hypothetically preferring that program to School X. So I don't think I was doing anything in particular to give people the impression that I was definitely going to accept School X's offer; it was just the way everyone reasoned based on where I'd gotten in. That said, I was always honest when people asked me where else I was considering, and I couldn't imagine not being honest. Just realize that, yes, there are some risks, and if the school that's asking is important to you, it is extra-important to make that very clear.
miratrix Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 How did word travel before other schools made decisions? (Hope not by internet stalking ) That does sound pretty risky, I'm glad school X WAS your first choice. I was only talking above about letting other schools know AFTER receiving offers.
Tritonetelephone Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 Thank you for sharing, social psych! I guess I hadn't thought of that - I didn't really apply to any "School X"s, I guess. I, too, have been asked about where else I've applied/been accepted by a lot of people at my visits (my original hesitation for this thread had to do with it being in an email instead). My routine has become to start by saying that I only applied to schools that I would seriously consider attending (true) and that I do not have a top choice (true) and that my final decision will likely come down to who can offer me the best financial package (...kind of true). But that I really like this and this about their school, blah blah blah...
lab_rat Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 socialpsych, The same thing happened to me. Once I answered the question of "Where else are you considering," everyone underestimated my interest or at least that is what I think happened. In all honesty, I wish to not answer that question, but I felt the pressure too, especially given a group interview setting where everyone named names.
Reinventing Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Wow, lab_rat, they did that to you in a group interview situation? That sounds weird, and a little callous.
kahlan_amnell Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 One of the places I applied (I forget which, it was either NYU or Columbia) had a blank in the application asking you to list the other places you were applying... I was honest. I'm a bad liar anyway. Most applications that I've seen have a blank for that. I've sometimes not filled it out, lest the programs I'm applying to that might be lower ranked then others think that I'm not serious about their school. However, I see no harm in telling them where else you're considering once you've been accepted.
socialpsych Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 My routine has become to start by saying that I only applied to schools that I would seriously consider attending (true) I wish it weren't necessary to say this! I too have sometimes pointed out that "I wouldn't be [visiting/applying] if I weren't seriously considering this program," but I don't really understand why that doesn't go without saying. I wish schools would not play the stupid game of second-guessing applicants' intentions. You think I go around wasting my time, my recommenders' time, and my money for fun? With no actual interest in the program?
socialpsych Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Wow, lab_rat, they did that to you in a group interview situation? That sounds weird, and a little callous. Yeah, exact same thing happened to me, too. It was a little aggressive...I was surprised.
Aceflyer Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Yeah, exact same thing happened to me, too. It was a little aggressive...I was surprised. Similar thing happened to me too at one of the schools I visited... except it was at dinner (with faculty, current students, and prospectives all present) and not technically in a 'group interview'. But it was still a 'group' situation and there was definitely pressure to name names as everyone else was doing so. Also, I had a "School X"-esque situation once, but I still got an offer from the school even though they don't think I'll go. I am grateful I was so lucky.
TulipOHare Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Most applications that I've seen have a blank for that. I've sometimes not filled it out, lest the programs I'm applying to that might be lower ranked then others think that I'm not serious about their school. However, I see no harm in telling them where else you're considering once you've been accepted. I did hesitate a little, but I couldn't come up with any really solid reasons to not answer. I thought they might think I was full of myself for not applying to more schools or to lower-quality schools... but then I thought they might appreciate that I wasn't just applying anywhere and everywhere... and then I just figured "ah screw it, if they're gonna be petty about this I don't wanna go there anyway" and filled it in. But it was probably pretty safe for me, 'cause all the places I applied are about the same quality in the field.
Tritonetelephone Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 I did hesitate a little, but I couldn't come up with any really solid reasons to not answer. I thought they might think I was full of myself for not applying to more schools or to lower-quality schools... but then I thought they might appreciate that I wasn't just applying anywhere and everywhere... and then I just figured "ah screw it, if they're gonna be petty about this I don't wanna go there anyway" and filled it in. But it was probably pretty safe for me, 'cause all the places I applied are about the same quality in the field. I know this has been talked about in further detail on another thread (maybe in the "applications" forum), but I filled it out hoping that they would notice that I had researched my schools enough where they would probably predict the same schools as a match to my interests. I wouldn't mind if they also noticed that I had picked a wide range of rankings, too. My only worry was that the amount of schools I applied to (10) might make them think that I'll probably be OK if they don't make me an offer. The field space was so small, I had to be creative with my abbreviations.
lab_rat Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I have yet to be in a situation where naming names was beneficial. I am always confused as to how to respond. In that group interview, it was incredibly awkward. I wish they did not underestimate my interest and would let me decide for myself where I thought I was best suited for grad school. Instead, they decided for me by rejecting me. I don't know if I did something wrong in the interviews. In fact, I felt my experience made me shine, especially in the group interview. Either way, I wish them the best. No hard feelings here... just a lesson well learned.
GraduateSchoolNut Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I think asking where you applied is quite normal. Many schools I applied to requested this information. Asking in writing who you were talking to was what I thought they were asking. I guess I'm in the minority in thinking it's weird.
Dontuse Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 One of the places I applied (I forget which, it was either NYU or Columbia) had a blank in the application asking you to list the other places you were applying... I was honest. I'm a bad liar anyway. TulipOHare Yeah. I too thought that was way weird until I found it on 3 or 4 of the UK schools to which I applied. So, after a bit of dillydallying I fill those boxes in with 4-6 (of the 9) programs for this application season. [shrug]
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