Help for my personal statement:give your remark

[doslearner]

Please i need your remark for this personal statement i made for an application for Msc management and accounting. Your remark and suggestion will help

 

 

  

 

        In my opinion, Accounting is part of human’s everyday life. All over the globe disregard of languages or cultures, people use Accounting techniques to solve their money problems. It can be things they do in their daily life. For example: checking how much money they have in their pocket or in their bank account, or again how much they have spent in purchasing a product or service; or they use it in businesses and large–scale transactions where it is commonly know.

 

As for me, my interest for Accounting truly started when I took the Bachelor of Business Management course in India after completed a Baccalaureate degree in Literature in my country. Being new to this course and department, Accountancy was the first subject I found truly fascinated and intriguing at same time. Fascinated by the various processes, methods and techniques used to express a real life business transaction into a money language and intrigued by the rational logic behind each demarche.

 

The course of business management changed my goals in life as a whole. But the subject of Management Accounting alone has pushed me to dream big and helped me set to myself all new objectives. It truly helped me to understand how the world of business operates and how companies run their business in everyday life and how they can forecast their future success or failure. More, it has truly driven me to be more interested in all money related subjects and excelled in them at college.

 

My project on “Working Capital Management at HMT LIMITED (India)” in the last year of my degree has really convinced me that Accountancy is the field in which I would like to perform later in my life. The 3 months I spent working on the project and the two weeks I took to collect data and analyzed them with the company’s accountancy officer truly shaped in me the sense of responsibility, dedication and communication with others.

 

After my Bachelor’s degree I’ve got an internship in an immigration company in India. My responsibilities are to teach French, guide and advise worker wishing to settle in Quebec. Even though that the internship is not truly links to the Accountancy field, it has helped me improved my skills in communication, sense of responsibility, and developed others skills like collaboration and sense of integration which I think are truly necessary to be good at Accountancy and do good in the field of management as a whole.

My goal today is to establish my own Business Company or work as a senior manager in a business company after my master’s degree and in order to achieve that goal, a good understanding of Accounting is crucial and important. I am hoping that University will provide me with more insight of the Accounting world as well as offering me a wide range of choices and connections after my course.

My social life involve going out with my friends, watching movies, playing basket ball and making websites. My love for web designing help me developed with my friends a database-driven website like EBay for my country.

 

To conclude, I assure you that if given the opportunity, I will prove myself a capable, responsible and dedicated student. I know I have the right amount of interest in Accountancy as a subject and have the right skills to do well in order to achieve my set dream. Lastly, I believe that I have the require commitment and determination to complete this course successfully.     

[selecttext]

It's too autobiographical. The first paragraph is pointless. Begin by stating your research interests, your aspirations and why graduate school will help achieve your goals. Then write why you selected the faculty member, department and university. Next write about why you are an excellent fit for this program and what why you are an excellent candidate. Tie it all together with a nice conclusion and you're done.

[Porridge]

You need a native English speaker to look over your SOP. The language is awkward.

[midnight]

Just one quick and easy fix: any and all mentions of "accounting" need not be capitalized; you don't need to capitalize "literature" or "business company," either.

 

I agree that you need a native English speaker to clean it up, and it needs more direction and polish.

[doslearner]

   Thank you all for your comments and advice...Based on your feedback i've made another attempt..so i would truly appreciate if you could again take a look at it and provide me with your precious remarks and comments.

 

    

     Accountancy and management are developing and providing a wide range of career opportunities full of challenges for graduate’s students studying this field. Now graduate’s students of management and accounting need to learn how to be fluid and flexible to make a successful career. In order to achieve that, strengthen their different accountancy’s as well as management skills and knowledge is mandatory.

 

I decide to apply to Msc accounting and management because I believe is the right decision as I want to do career in this field and I am pretty sure that this program will equip me with lot of tools and skills required to do so. In addition, through this program I will have the chance sink into the world of economy and profit of the high demand that is there currently for management and accounting graduates in the jobs market. On the top of this, I have always been fascinated by how Accountancy and management can collaborate to lead a business to success or failure. Furthermore, it is the ability we gain to guide and help customers become more profitable hopefully that even attract me more. By the same token, I always get excited when I solve an accounting problem or successfully balance an account. The courses in business management and management accounting helped me set new goals for myself and dream big. 

 

As far as my personal experiences are concerned, they led to me have patience, self-emotion control as well as realize the importance of listening, respecting the opinions of others and the significance of being versatile. Being an independent person, I believe that my strongest strengths are the abilities to work under a deadline pressure and deliver the expected results quickly, accurately and be self-motivated with the saying “if you give once it will be a habit, give up should not an option don’t give up” from Michael Jordan in head.

In problem-solving situation, I have a tireless eye for details and analyze the problem through several techniques before making any major decision. Skills, I think are necessary to make career in both fields of management and accounting.

 

At college, I did a project work in the last year of my degree program entitled “Working capital management at HMT (INDIA)”.The help of the company’s financial officer in collecting and analyzing data gave me more insights of accountancy,

 

I realized that if I want to do career in this field, a deeper knowledge and strengthening skills are unconditional. This project was a catalyst in the decision of taking my knowledge of accountancy to the next level and follows a career in this domain.More it helps me develop skills like group works and collaboration. 

 

Recently, I had an intern for an immigration company called Mercan Capital Limited in India, which provided me with in-depth understanding of management uses and its principles. My responsibilities were to teach French, advise and guide workers wishing to settle in Quebec. During this internship I developed skills in motivating, advising people and also it has also improved my communications skills and sense of planning and organizing. 

 

I genuinely possess a passion for management and accounting and have a keen interest in knowing what is happening in the business environment as a whole. I believe that my personal attributes, academic achievements and relevant work experience make me a suitable candidate for course. Another significant factor is that, I am a highly sociable person full of interpersonalskills,open-minded, always happy to meet new persons and who strictly respect the set rules and regulations. More I am person who is always ready to part of students and community events, as I believe through that way I can contribute in my way in creating and promoting a healthy and better student environment.

 

Overall, I see myself as am a set goals achieved-driven person, full of commitment, hardworking and who can turn difficult challenges into a source of opportunities and gain personal profit from them. Enrolling on the university degree of management and accounting is just the beginning for me, I aspire to achieve more in years to come starting with becoming senior manager or manager and accountant in a corporate and on longer term establish my own business corporation. Undoubtedly, if I get admitted at your university I will prove myself as a dedicated, role model student who will make a every work and teaching session counts and will extensively take part of them in order to obtain the maximum knowledge from them.

[musicmage09]

I only read the first paragraph but it is still empty. The commitee already knows why accounting is important. This paragraph is taking up precious space. Toss it. Its better to just start with why you are applying for accounting. This still needs to be proof read for grammar by a native English speaker. There are too many mistakes. Keep at it! Revision is the way to get it right!