the unforeseen reality of no acceptances

[jenmariepainter]

what do you do? i know you hear the "apply next year" thing. but it's hard to even think about going through the process again. i know some of you are 2nd timers, but how did you deal with this reality? it feels way worse of a failure than it probably is, and I know the process is subjective, but it's hard to put the pieces together.

[bartholomew]

jenmariepainter...it's bad luck...if getting an mfa meant in any way that one would become a great artist, then our world would be overflowing with great artists given the number of people that have earned mfa's over the years; but it's not the case. There are incredibly few truly great artists relative the overall number of people who make art or have made art. For as many great artists who exist that have mfa's there are far more who don't. That's not to say that getting an mfa hurts one's art; I'm just saying that it's not a degree or a program that produces a great artist. Hang in there. Stay positive about your self and work. Take a breath. Let some time pass and then reevaluate how you want to proceed. It's always impossible to make decisions after a heated battle like this horrible application process.

No matter what. Whatever you do, school, no school, keep making work, that's where the goodness is.

Also, as an aside, if you are interested there is a school in San Francisco called the Academy of Art University that offers an MFA degree, one can apply at any time of the year and they accept just about everyone. Might be worth checking into...with government loans and studio space it might better allow you to keep making work.

[brosenth1984]

jenmarie, i was rejected from all the schools i applied to last year, and guess what...this year i was accepted to 9, waitlisted for 1, rejected from 3, and still waiting on others. When you end up re-applying to schools, you will catch all sorts of problems and mistakes in the applications you did, and see programs that you thought you were good fit for were not, and others that you didn't even consider that would be excellent fits for. It is painful, i've been there, but you will learn so much from this experience and you will grow in different ways. I think you need to expand your pool by a lot, and i think you need to get into the studio and make work that reaches far beyond what you did in your undergrad; programs want to see that you have evolved on your own apart from the "institution." I would not suggest "settling" on this point for a program that will cost you a fortune just to satiate your desire to go to school (e.g. Academy of Art), and it is FAR cheaper to take out a loan to get a studio, than to pay 30+K for a cubby hole and disengaged adjunct profs. It is a lot more expensive to do it all over again (I am coming from a visit with someone who will be doing a second MFA because his first was a waste of time), and it is your first time applying--not your tenth.

Take the energy you are feeling right now and put it into your work and into advancing your presence in shows across the globe. Apply heavily for residencies that take place during academic semesters (they are less competitive when professor's and grad students can't go) and go to them and challenge yourself. While some of these things may seem expensive, it is cheaper than paying for a school you don't want to go to.

sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, but this directness was the only way i pulled myself out of the hole i experienced last year. I wasted so much time myself feeling sorry, instead of making new work, and it set my work behind more than i ever could have expected.

[youthtoast]

JMPainter,

I just wanted to let you know that I'm in precisely the same situation as you at exactly this moment--and gosh, it feels awful. This was my first time out (I'm in a really weird position, since I already have a Ph.D. in another field). I don't think anybody else can understand (except these kind people who have been through it before) what it feels like to get rejection after rejection. It's really hard not to internalize it and take it personally.

BUT I can already see how this experience is going to change my work. Over the last year, I've been painting furiously, getting a coherent portfolio together, and I realized recently that the whole time, I was painting to get into school. And now I don't care. I'm going to just paint. Because heaven knows painting to get into school didn't work out.

Also? Your web site is beautiful and your work is really great. (I thought you might want to hear it said aloud.)

Anyway, I hear you.

[jenmariepainter]

Thanks for the suggestions, comments, kind words of encouragement. I have applied to SCAD as a plan b. Yes, yes I know...all of the weird rumors and such that has been said about SCAD, but I think I don't buy into it, and it's really all about what you make of it. So pending hearing word from them, it could be okay.

A huge reason why I'm going straight into an MFA or want to for that matter has to do with a massive regrettable amount of loans. I have over, well. I shouldn't even say....it's something somehow that's accumulated to over 200k for 5 years of undergrad at CIA and living and housing expenses. Do I regret it, yes of course...(not my education, but the way I lived my life...very frugally) but there's no erasure of it...and the idea of how much monthly I'd have to fork over would be far from what I would make at any job per month....so I feel the NEED to stay in school, to postpone the burden with hopes of making better and new connections to arrive somewhere better than now.

Now, by far this is not why I want to get an MFA. It is why I want to right after I graduate in May.

I have far more deeper concerns of why an MFA is important to me.

But alas, the reality of rejection puts me in a weird boat of what I should do.....Of course if I got accepted to SCAD with no funding whatsoever I would not relive my CIA financial experience all over again, and would decline.

I sometimes think about how I wish I could have changed the way I lived the last 5 years to not be in this situation of feeling the need to go to grad school immediately, but I cannot dwell on my financial choices from the past, I can only move forward in a more frugal and insightful manner. by making informed financial decisions.

I truly believe in continuing to make work, as even the work I've been working on for my BFA thesis is far more developed than the work submitted for grad school...so it can only get better...and of course out of the institutional setting, more free.

I definitely so want to challenge myself, even if scad doesn't work in my favor....but how does one do so with the burden of excessive loan debt? can one delay paying back a loan by going into a residency? I am just wondering besides grad school then, because you delay loans by staying in school...are there other options?

I feel embarrassed about even mentioning the ridiculousness and absurdity of my loan debt in lieu of needing pursuing an MFA immediately...but it is this dark black cloud with acid rain that is going to become a reality soon if i do not postpone it somehow.

But anyways, thanks for checking out my work youthtoast.

And thanks to brosenth and barth for your comments and suggestions.

I've gotta keep my head up.

[leblanc]

Jen,

I took a look at your website and couldn't help but notice that you'll just be getting your BFA this year. After I completed my BFA, I was told this by most of my professors: While there are exceptions, grad school reviewing committees usually want to see some additional activity and experience outside of school, i.e. residencies and exhibitions. They also want to see how you work and develop outside of an academic setting. For these reasons, my professors encouraged me to take a year(or a few years) off before applying for grad programs. Taking some time off also forces you to understand the reality of living and making your work without the support of professors and the academic environment -- a situation that you will inevitably return to after you finish grad school. So don't feel bad about not getting in anywhere this year -- like a previous poster said, view the next year as time to build up your experience.

[brosenth1984]

dear jenmarie,

yikes, but don't be embarassed! That is a really unfortunate situation you were put in (and those dang lenders never should have let you get there, plus your undergrad school should have funded you better, how irresponsible of them!). Now i know some people will laugh at me for saying this, but I think you need to send an email to Suze Orman, or talk with a financial planner ASAP. You may also be able to get a job that includes loan forgiveness (e.g. Peace corps or Americorps). Before you reapply to grad school, I would look into these options to seriously reduce your debt-load, and figure out what your options are. You will be A LOT happier if you spend two years in the Americorps program and end up with a quarter of the loan debt, than if you are saddled with this the rest of your life.

best of luck with everything,

[nathancotephoto]

Jen,

I graduated with a BA two years ago. Since then I threw myself into everything i could. Started a Graphic/Photo buisness which i learned i hated, directed photography for a small magazine and well a few odd and ends, including a lot of random commercial work.(non of it paid very well but good experience) I learned what i did like and what i didnt like. Since then all...ALL i can do is work on my own projects, personal art work. (I'm a photographer) and now after getting rejected by all and wait listed for two it has solidified what i want to do. Being from north dakota, far removed from the art world and culture, I want to teach and work in the art world and I know my best chance at getting that start is either in NY or Cali. But i too am trying to avoid desperation and taking the first academy that pumps out MFAs which i feels gives an artist less clout when applying for jobs.

In relation to the MFA committees that are looking at our work: I did not relate well with my undergrad photo professors. I got mostly Bs and some Cs but many of those projects that i did not do well on were later chosen for juried shows, purchased and included in private collections(Microsoft's Inter. Collection). Someone will look at your work eventually and say to the committee, we need this artist in our program!

After applying and sending out my first letter of intent(that I've ever written) I have a deeper understanding of all of they whys they could ask me. The next letter I write will more directly describe my intent and answer the questions they would have about me. By next year my portfolio will also be MUCH more refined as i have projects piling up. We just have to keep in the grind, and working. I worked 80-100 hour weeks the first year out of school. I worked in a camera shop for 30 hours a week and that was my only steady pay check that i cashed for 8 $ an hour. It was brutal.

[henrystgirl]

I am applying to MFA programs over 10 years after I graduated from undergrad. I remember the anxiety that came with graduating, feeling like I didn't know what the hell I was going to do with myself. But grad school only delays that question, it doesn't answer it.

Honestly, it seemed to me that programs weren't at all interested in artists coming straight out of college. They want artists who have lived and made work and fucked up and tried different directions and know what they want from their work, and that only comes with time and living. One professor told me that it's only relatively recently that younger artists apply to or are accepted into MFA programs--that programs used to be almost exclusively filled with people in their early to mid 30s--and that he can't understand why people would go to school directly out of undergraduate, that he had gone to school at 25-26 and felt like even that was too young.

There's some great advice on this list about ways to handle your debt. And please, don't take this the wrong way, but you should just make your work out in the world for a few years. You'll bloom in ways you can't imagine, and you'll return to school with a profound sense of purpose. I promise.

[haleynagy]

I agree with almost everything on this thread. A couple of years out of school could do wonders for your personal life and for your work. My own experience has attested to that: I graduated with a BA in art history and then spent next 5 years working day job after day job putting my husband through his doctorate (with the plan that he would then put me through graduate school once he graduated). I wouldn't trade that 5 years of experience for anything! I worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator, art educator, wedding consultant, registrar, executive assistant, bookseller, art store employee, real estate assistant, health insurance broker assistant and much, much more. From each of these crappy day jobs I gained a set of life skills that they don't teach in any MFA program. In these 5 years I've grown in so many ways and had the time to make the difficult transition from interpreting the art of others... to creating my own. I feel like I've discovered my true niche in the art market... and I never could have achieved this without the benefit of time. Even if I was restricted to only creating art "after work".

On another note, one thing that I hear the most complaints about from professionals is the lack of business training for artists. I got business training from the school of life and so can you. If you have to take a crappy day job, take one that can teach you something you would otherwise never sit down and study. You'll get paid to learn all while reducing the size of your debt. If you can't do your own taxes, file the paperwork to create a business entity, manage your money effectively, interview confidently, sell product, send a press release, take a beating from a customer... then you will flounder as an artist. I've gained all these skills from those random jobs. If you have these set of skills going INTO a MFA program, nothing will stand in the way of your success and from running a profitable, independent, art business afterwards (or during).

That being said, I'm right there with you. Each rejection brings me a step closer to "Plan B", my contingency plan for if I'm rejected by all 5 programs. Don't be afraid of rejection. Every artist has to face it. There's already some great advice on here about things you can do this coming year, so I won't go into competitions, residencies, etc. However, I came across a call for artists on Art Calendar, which has your name all over it. I thought you might be interested:

DEADLINE: Wed, April 01, 2009

Creatures Great and Small - open call for art using animals as metaphor, Murray State University

Animals, both real and fantastic, have always been compelling subjects in art. Many artists today continue to use animals to examine a wide range of issues including: spiritual, ethical, social, political, environmental, and personal. This exhibition aims to explore how art depicts animals as a way to confront humanity in all its complexity. Open to all media. For complete information, please visit our website (http://www.murraystate.edu/artgallery) and look under

[jenmariepainter]

haley-

Yes I agree, I was astounded by everyone's thoughtful and helpful comments, or even bothering the efforts to give me their opinions and experience.

Haley- also, thank you so much for that animal prospectus show- the deadline is like...NOW but I will most definitely get it postmarked out- sounds like a perfect fit!

I wanted to say though, yes I am just coming out of my BFA. But I have many experiences to which you are all referring to. I have worked many jobs in lieu of gaining a wealth of professional experience in the common world such a being a manager at 18 and assistant manager at an art store for several years of my life. I didn't go to college right away, I spent 2 years working, and continued to work while in school holding such jobs as a gallery assistant to two galleries, art library assistant, assistant to a curator for a major exhibition at a major local gallery, assistant to the director of a visiting artists program....all while showing at local galleries in group and juried shows. A little over a year ago in my fourth year at CIA I had an amazing opportunity in which I was selected to show in a 3 person exhibition at a gallery showing with other prominent artists in their 60s! Then followed by my first solo exhibition at a main gallery downtown, because the director had seen my work at the 3 person show and was impressed. I have many other major curating experiences at SPACES gallery, and am currently the director/coordinator of an art benefit I am going to put on at MOCA Cleveland to benefit Animal Welfare organizations in June.

I know there are many skilled still to be acquired, but I have much experience in the real world away from the Institution, and not school related.

I just wasn't sure if those commenting were aware of my personal and professional history.

I am the only student in the last few years in the painting department that has been actively engaging outside out the school in other art endeavors to further my personal and professional life.

Either way, I think everyone's suggestions and comments are valid and much appreciated, as I am taking them into consideration while attempting to address a plan C.

[jkroman]

If one were to reapply to the same programs next year, will they look at your older work and see any progression. I know they say that your previous application will not have an effect, but do they mean it? I have heard of a lot of people that have reapplied and had wonderful luck...

[nathancotephoto]

ive even seen on a few threads those who reapplied got double the acceptances or more. A year of progression not only in work but methodology and self awareness(being able to express all of who i am as an artist through my letter of intent) will drastically change any committee's understanding of who i am. Jen, you have quite a bit of experience and your work is great, its just a matter of time, just as it is for most others that are on this site. my unforeseen reality is working to pay off debt, producing a lot of work, reapplying and possibly applying for residencies.

[helenforsdale]

I have to say I agree with brosenth 100% - I think he's right on the money with this one. I was in a similar position - last year I applied to 6 programs, and only got into one, which was my second choice. I was devastated. I had just quit being a full time touring musician in a punk band and so going back to school seemed like the only option - I hadn't picked up a camera in a few years. Going through the rejections - it made me realize that my portfolio was in fact, rather weak - I had no focus or sense of direction - just a lot of drive and ideas. I was all over the place. As a result, I spent the last year really building up my portfolio - and I can honestly say I'm really proud of the work I've been doing. Not only that, but now I have a clear sense of direction - I know what my work is about and how to talk about it. Had I somehow been accepted to a program last year, I think I would have really floundered around, trying to figure out what I was doing.

Putting another year into this will only make your work stronger. It's also true what brosenth said - most graduate programs never accept people right out of a bfa program. The few kids I know who went in after only taking a year off - their work isn't nearly as strong as those who waited a bit. Heck, I turned 30 this year - and the 7 or so years i've spent out of school have taught me way more than undergrad. But yeah, this is my second year out - and good chance I'll go for it again next year.

So believe me - yr not in as bad of a position as you think you are. And remember - you don't need a school, or an mfa degree to allow you to make work - just believe in yourself and stay focused no matter what. A degree will never replace real life experience.

I'm just kicking myself for only applying to one school this year - columbia (albeit in two departments, new genres and photography). Up against over 1400 people for only 26 slots. And of those 26 slots, only 3 were for photography. Impossible odds - and the sad truth is, no matter how strong of a portfolio - I know my aesthetic is radically different from what they're about. And really, I only applied because I wanted to stay in New York. So i'm in a pickle as well - I got into the Royal College of Art in London - but they need an answer soon. Do I wait another year, really build my portfolio, and this time for schools that are a better fit (yale, hunter)? or bite the bullet and attend the RCA. Or i could attend the RCA while reapplying back here in the states...

but yeah, really kicking myself over not having the initiative to apply to yale...i think i would have had a good shot there.

(edit - the rca is an amazing fit for me - i love the professors there - i'd be studying under someone i really admire - and their alumni list is incredible....but i hate london, and not sure it would lead to the gallery/art world contacts i'd like).

But also - this website has been amazing. It's been really comforting to see everyone go through the same process as me - and freak out in the same way.

[volumen]

helenforsdale....you mentioned you got into 1 school last year. Why did you not go afterall? Curious as I got accepted into 1 too. Applied to 2, and now wonder if I should have just applied to more in the first place...possibly stronger but very different kinds of programs. All in NYC.

[helenforsdale]

cost - the school i got into is in england, and tuition there is insane. at the time, the pound was so high, it nearly doubled the cost of tuition of a local university. no matter how reputable a program, i couldn't stomach this. because of the high cost for international students, most british programs allow foreign students the option to defer. so that's what i did - largely because all those rejections kind of made me realize i didn't exactly know what i'd be doing in graduate school yet. it also made me doubt the reasons for my acceptance into the one program i did get into.

anyways, i'm glad i waited. the pound has been reduced to 1:1.4 usd, and so now it's actually *cheaper* to go to school in london than here in the states, if you can believe that. about a 15k difference in tuition.

still, i'd really like to reapply again next year for a local school. i didn't really think it out too well this time around. i'm busy working on a film and i spend a lot of time grant writing - so at the time, one application seemed to be enough - there aren't a lot of programs i would enjoy being in. but in retrospect, it was a bit of a half-assed attempt on my part.

[jasonsho]

I recall at some point you said you were interested in figurative programs, and if you're really feeling the need to get into an MFA program The New York Academy of Art might be a possibility. It's fairly young and not a huge name, but you're going to get studio space in TriBeCa and they have a good number of recent grads showing in Chelsea right now (just saw 2 last week) which is more than you can say for a lot of schools.

There are some pretty laid back areas to live in Brooklyn. My sister just got a big bedroom facing McCarran park in a 3-bed for $700. Rents seem to be 10-25% cheaper than a year ago at this time.

I believe they have an april 15 due date for late admissions. I got in early, visited last week and was actually pretty impressed (my only other visit was CCA where the work was universally disappointing). I'm probably not going to be accepting the offer as it will make much more sense for me to do school in another 1-2 years, but I can see a definite path to success through the school as they really seem to try to get those all-important collectors and celebs involved with the school. Eileen Guggenheim is on their board and saw pictures of Bill Clinton at their last fundraiser.

Anyhow, that wasn't supposed to sound like as much of a sales pitch as it might read. Good luck! I'm leaning towards waiting a year myself but who knows.

[tegan.deanna]

All of these people have done a fine job consoling you and advising you how to improve your work and try again, but few have addressed the reality of your current debt and how to deal with it while waiting to reapply. I only have $100k (I feel weird using the term "only" for a debt that size...but you've got me beat) and this is how I dealt with it during my year off. I discovered that if you take classes part-time you can defer making payments on your loan (it doesn't matter if it's federal or private.) You can take these classes at a state university for in-state rates or a community college for their small fee, and it will be far cheaper than what you would be paying on your loan per month. You can take more art classes, or try something new that has always interested you or that you think might benefit you in some way. I actually discovered a new major in my year off and have applied to grad schools for that instead this time round (not that I'm suggesting that you give up on art, I was unsatisfied with my undergrad major and looking for a change, you sound quite passionate and dedicated to yours.) You may still have to be accepted to a department as a post-baccalaureate student, but in my experience, that isn't difficult. And then, you can work either full-time, or maybe part-time, on the side to pay for living expenses (which is what I'm doing.) Alternately, along the lines of the Americorps/Peacecorps recommendation, if you were willing and able to uproot for a while, I know several people that paid off sizable portions of their student loan debt by moving to Asia and teaching English as a Second Language. You can find tons of TESL programs online for various countries through various organizations, and it's an experience that could change your life forever. You might even be inspired artistically by a foreign environment, who knows? Just some ideas from my life experience that I thought you might find beneficial. Good luck!

[majohnson]

I do understand where you're coming from. This was my second time around applying to MFA programs and I still didn't get in. I'll be 23 in may and I graduated from undergrad last May, so I am sure I am still quite young. I don't see many people here posting that they have applied multiple times and still have not received acceptances, but I am sure they are out there.

I think next time around I'll apply to more schools, those with higher rates of acceptance! and those with more funding too!

This forum has been great though, I only found it towards the end of my second round of applications, and so I know it will be very helpful for my next round.

anyway, keep your head up!!! I had a great professor who it took 4 rounds of applications to MFA programs, and his work is great and he's doing pretty well now

PS- here is my website to the right, if anyone has any tips for grad school for me, they would be MOST appreciated!!