Will Anyone Post a "Successful" Statement of Purpose?

[Gradhopeful]

Hi,

I am wondering if anyone would be willing to post a "successful" Statement of Purpose (perhaps anyone who has been accepted into a program/programs). I have not yet not been rejected by all of my schools, but, after no success so far, I am now assuming I will be even though I thought my application was reasonably strong (or at least not inordinately weak). I have a 700 Verbal, what I believe are strong letters of reference, and tons of work experience, including great peer/student evaluations (having taught composition classes for years at two major universities as well as three different communities colleges). I am now suspecting that my SOP is "off" either somewhat or significantly. I recognize from the various threads here that "fit" may be my greatest hurdle, but I would appreciate any added insight anyone is willing to offer. Thank you for your help.

[sundv004]

Why not post yours first?

[cyborges]

applyingtograd.livejournal.com is probably a better place to ask, if only because people have already tailored them to removed what school they applied to and who they specifically mention.

[Jack Cade]

Interesting the tension this request seems to produce... :?

I know someone who fears having ideas stolen. This request does require a somewhat invasive divulgence from the responder.

I think that I would be willing to post all my material, every last bit of it, including my charts, and SoP, Sample, etc. Scrubbed somewhat for identity.

But I do not feel comfortable doing that until after I have settled on a school. I am not sure why, that is just my gut response.

That said, how much of my work should I share... I feel totally comfortable sharing strategies and lessons, teaching how, but giving away my tools, my approach seems problematic, somehow different.

I will say that I had access to "successful" SoPs and they were only a limited help. Each individual is unique, each application is unique, each situation requires an individual approach.

I also should point out that I am certainly not the "alpha" candidate on this board, and therefore my material might well lead people astray.

Thinking...

[Gradhopeful]

Sorry, all! I don't mean to be invasive or cause tension. You're right, though. My request does presuppose that a poster would be willing to share personal information, albeit scrubbed of identity. Therefore, I rescind my request, especially since, understandably, many may be worried about theft of ideas. I guess I am grasping at straws in my down mood since I feel like I've worked so hard for so long without gaining true marketability. Incidentally, I recognize that the first responder (sundv004) is correct--best would be for me to upload my own SOP for review/criticism. Unfortunately, at this point, I feel like it must be a load of crap and am too embarrassed to share it, although I did cover the traditional SOP points: 1) anecdotal opening illustrating my attraction to literature/ideas in general and to my specific area of interest in particular; 2) commentary on various areas/authors of interest to me and how they relate to my research/teaching ambitions; 3) indication as to why I have chosen the target school in question, including the specific faculty/specializations that most interest me in relationship to that school; 4) noting of how I, myself, will contribute to the targeted school and the community at large; 5) and wrap-up that ties intro. idea/anecdote to concluding thoughts. Thank you to everyone, though, for offering suggestions, including the website address via the second poster (cyborges) and the specific feedback/thoughtful musings of the third poster (Jack Cade).

[th3_illiterati]

My SOP was well received although I didn't get in to the programs I was hoping to. The feedback given on it, when I approached U's that rejected me, was excellent and commented on it being well conceived, interesting, and so forth. Of course, I'm not going to post it because of privacy issues!

However, what was very helpful toward the initial writing of it was that I asked my mentor for permission to look over past SOP's from people he had successfully placed in Ph.D. programs. He gave me three, all going to pretty good programs now. I earnestly don't think I would have known where to start otherwise.

You could also ask former classmates of yours who have gone on to Ph.D. programs to send you copies of what got them in?

[Gradhopeful]

Thank you for your suggestion, th3_illiterati! I will see if I can get a sample ("successful") SOP from someone, with the hopes that I will have the stamina to endure another go-round next year. Much success to you.

[windsweptvoid]

applyingtograd.livejournal.com is probably a better place to ask, if only because people have already tailored them to removed what school they applied to and who they specifically mention.

Also there is the "review_my_sop" livejournal community--- this community is great because you can actually post your stuff on there and get feedback from others. Two years ago I hung out there, and afterwards I found out which of these people were very successful then I went back and looked at their SOPs. So when I applied this time I had about 3-4 of the successful ones to go off of. Actually, I found it rather helpful. That community has much more privacy than here since you can restrict the viewers to community members only. maybe if you leave your email some people will be willing to send you their stuff privately. Or better yet, make this same request on that site b/c those people are already comfortable sharing.

I have no problem sending you my SOP, but I wasn't very successful--- I have 3 waitlists (mich state, u maryland, loyola) and only one acceptance. Anyway, if you'd still like to see it just private message me and I can send it to you individually.

[Gradhopeful]

Thank you SO much, windsweptvoid, for your great suggestion (and for your generous offer)!! I will definitely check out review_my_sop to see if I can get some constructive feedback from that livejournal community. Congratulations, too, on your waitlists and acceptance! I sincerely hope you get to attend your first choice school. A beautiful spring to you!

[Othello's alter]

Gradhopeful,

While I am reluctant to post my statement of purpose, I will suggest to you a book written by Donald Asher called "Graduate Admissions Essays: Write Your Way Into The Graduate School Of Your Choice." It is in its third addition and it is really helpful. Asher has numerous samples of successful SOP's for a wide range of programs. Plus, there are even samples of SOP's for fellowships and he gives general tips on making the entire application process an overall rewarding experience. I can promise you that if you pay close attention to this book you will do well on your applications.

Best of luck

[abluedude]

Glad I could help. Good luck!

[joeygiraldo]

^Above is an example of a pretty decent SoP. It's quite good...

To OP, realize that an SoP requires several re-writes. I know I wrote one version, revised it, got comments on it, revised it based on those comments (this was September). By the time December rolled around, that first, ALREADY heavily edited SoP shared only about 30% with the finished product (after dozens more revisions) I sent out.

Hope OP has success rewriting/reapplying.

[dino88]

Gradhopeful,

[latenight]

When I was writing my statement of purpose I found this sample statement online... It's for sociology, and I'm in comparative literature, but it still helped a lot.

http://ls.berkeley.edu/soc/diversity/ap ... ent-1.html

Pretty darn good.

[wheel_of_fire]

Wow both of these are really different from my statement. I was told by one prof to add in more personalized anecdotes, and another told me if I used any at all, the board would laugh at me. So I ended up taking it all out. Now I'm wondering whether it would have been useful to put some back in. Hm.

[engguy]

Frankly I didn't find this to be a very compelling SOP, but it "got 'er done," so what do I know. The first paragraph is loaded with non sequiturs, as the writer tries to pack his or her life's story into a few sentences... The mention of childhood trauma / "baptist epistemology" etc. borders on too much information -- especially with the lack of an explanation of how and why these things have shaped this person's scholarship, veers towards asking for something based on personal history. What is "scriptotheraupeutic poetry"? Honestly, I've studied poetry for 15 years and I've never heard of this. I can sort of guess what it is, but this points out another issue in the SOP, for me... the lack of mention of a single actual author this person intends to engage with (I mean besides theory). The paragraph in which the author outlines the role of each mentor / recommender strikes me as unusual and I'm not sure what to make of it. Did other people do this?

Overall I'm very wary of anonymous templates / people you don't know as a model for what you're writing. There seems to be a really violent disagreement -- apparently extending to actual profs, as well -- over whether to include basic things, like personal history vs. no personal history, mention of names at the program one's applying to vs. a more general statement, etc. The best thing to do, I think, is to find the SOP of someone you actually know and trust, who's successfully applied (if possible to the program you want to apply to), use that as a jumping-off point for one of your own, and supplement it with the input of a trusted mentor.

All right... I now look forward to the opprobrium of the person who posted this SOP and others jumping to his/her defense. Fire away.

[Jack Cade]

Frankly I didn't find this to be a very compelling SOP, but it "got 'er done," so what do I know. The first paragraph is loaded with non sequiturs, as the writer tries to pack his or her life's story into a few sentences... The mention of childhood trauma / "baptist epistemology" etc. borders on too much information -- especially with the lack of an explanation of how and why these things have shaped this person's scholarship, veers towards asking for something based on personal history. What is "scriptotheraupeutic poetry"? Honestly, I've studied poetry for 15 years and I've never heard of this. I can sort of guess what it is, but this points out another issue in the SOP, for me... the lack of mention of a single actual author this person intends to engage with (I mean besides theory). The paragraph in which the author outlines the role of each mentor / recommender strikes me as unusual and I'm not sure what to make of it. Did other people do this?

Overall I'm very wary of anonymous templates / people you don't know as a model for what you're writing. There seems to be a really violent disagreement -- apparently extending to actual profs, as well -- over whether to include basic things, like personal history vs. no personal history, mention of names at the program one's applying to vs. a more general statement, etc. The best thing to do, I think, is to find the SOP of someone you actually know and trust, who's successfully applied (if possible to the program you want to apply to), use that as a jumping-off point for one of your own, and supplement it with the input of a trusted mentor.

All right... I now look forward to the opprobrium of the person who posted this SOP and others jumping to his/her defense. Fire away.

I think your response is interesting, I responded positively to that SoP. Recognizing it as the product of a flawed rhetorical situation (ick), I expect a flawed document. Every SoP I've ever read has been flawed in some way or another.

I do, however, entirely agree with your--and others--comments about the nature of SoP writing. It is nice to have an idea of what other's Statements look like, particularly successful ones, but each situation is so different that those SoPs will only be so helpful.

Oh and FU man, we're all coming to your house, hahaha, kidding.

[joeygiraldo]

Frankly I didn't find this to be a very compelling SOP

Well, looks like the person got into a funded PhD program at MSU. They beg to differ.

[abluedude]

Open mouth, insert foot, eh?

[engguy]

@joey:

Well, looks like the person got into a funded PhD program at MSU. They beg to differ.

Well, as I noted myself in the rest of my observation, obviously the person got in, so what do I know?

@bluedude:

Wait -- you start by saying you accept constructive criticism, and end by saying @#$# the naysayers? Right back at ya. Guess what? You will have to share office space -- more importantly seminar space -- with people who critique your views. It's called graduate-level discourse. Get used to it, and grow a thicker skin. My response to your SOP was merely to point out how unhelpful I think it would actually be for someone to use as a model -- which was, after all, the original question posed on this thread.

That said, I think there's much to admire in the statement -- at least you present yourself as someone with a very clear idea of what you want to do at MSU, which is key. It just wouldn't work for others, IMO, because their "liminality between self and scholarship" will not dovetail as well as yours did here. But congrats on getting in to MSU -- from the other thread on this it's clear that you and others are stoked about the program and I wish you the best of luck. Really. I just think that -- especially if you're gonna post your SOP on a forum with a thousand strangers -- you need to take a step back from it and accept an honest critique. The SOP is ultimately a tool to help get you into the program you want. It's not your first-born child.

[Jack Cade]

Oh Jesus.

I've got a theory. To anyone who cares to read it. Some on this forum have heard me talk about this before, in person that is.

Nobody gets into academia, suffers through the extended period of poverty, a life on hold, the general tedious and tenuous existence of a grad student without a deep emotional need that is being satisfied, or a brainwashing sort of cult thing, but someone already wrote that theory.

Now on some level, we pursue this path to do something worthwhile with our lives, something that is deeply enjoyable, something with some eventual financial security, and, more than anything, something that allows us to achieve a significant measure of prestige. It seems to me, from my armchair, that doing something worthwhile as a future goal, doesn't quite sustain one through the travails of the moment, particularly when that consummation is so distant, possibly decades in the future. And as fun as the game is, there is much of it that isn't fun, and there are also plenty of careers which are equally as fun, if not more fun. (And I don't believe anyone does anything strictly for money.)

It is the last that seems to me most suspicious. There is so much intellectual prestige to go along with the PhD. So much, 'I am not dumb, see I am a doctor,' to assuage the insecure ego, so much ethos to appease all our little insecurity homunculi, which so many of us seem to have in abundance.

What other visceral, persistent, and pervasive motivation can there be to sustain folks through the arduousness of the PhD and job placement journey?

So, looking inward, I see my purpose and I see my pride, and I think, humility should be my constant concern. Then I look around and see folks in my game, and think that this might be good advice for lots of people.

Clearly the other motivations for our path(s) are more than worthy, and hopefully, ultimately why we are doing this, but those egos of ours, too often close to the surface, surely do have sharp sharp edges on 'em.

Humbly for your consideration.

[a cup of coffee]

It is the last that seems to me most suspicious. There is so much intellectual prestige to go along with the PhD. So much, 'I am not dumb, see I am a doctor,' to assuage the insecure ego, so much ethos to appease all our little insecurity homunculi, which so many of us seem to have in abundance.

What other visceral, persistent, and pervasive motivation can there be to sustain folks through the arduousness of the PhD and job placement journey?

Research? It sounds lame, but I really did agonize over this my junior year of undergraduate school, especially since I am married to someone writing his dissertation and have fewer illusions than most about the magical world of academia. There's a reason (well, an infinite number of reasons) that everyone you talk to about being a professor always says "you don't want this job." I had actually settled for sure on applying for an MA in library science and trying to get a job as an archivist or academic librarian. It wasn't until I was actually filling out MLS applications in October that I went through a fundamental crisis when I realized that all I really want to do is read and write and critique interpretations of literature. That's the job I want more than anything that comes with it.

My SoP is less good than I think it could have been, since I didn't really articulate the interests that are mine now. I did manage to work in a joke about Frankenstein and global warming. Anyway, it definitely was not so fancy as that sample and was exactly one single-spaced page long. As far as humility goes, personally I worry that I won't be self-promoting and competitive enough in the future. I'm that person who just gets along with everybody. Hopefully that has its own advantages in academia, too.

[abluedude]

touch

[Minnesotan]

Safest bet is to leave out the flashy stuff. Rarely will it impress everyone, but often it will annoy someone. Stick to the basic questions: who you are, why you fit, what you want the degree for, etc.