a cup of coffee

I have to say "musea" made my day (according to the OED: "archaic, rare").

Well, the guy won't be your main adviser, and if you really don't get along with him you don't have to put him on your committee, even if he's in your field. At an extremely, extremely small program, this might be more awkward, but no one forces you to choose your committee members. And even if he's on your committee, there is no way that you wouldn't be able to graduate! That is an absolute nightmare scenario, totally not going to happen, even if he is pure evil. I mean, he's had to advise many other students at this school, he can't just destroy anyone who doesn't please him. When you get to your new department, find some professors that are really good with students and build relationships with them so you have a supportive network. Who knows, maybe he will end up liking you anyway, even if he has a bad personality. Plus, you will almost certainly have to work with people like him in the future, so it would be good practice to get used to dealing with academics like him. It sounds like you are really nervous, and that means you may not be perceiving what happened in your "bad" conversation accurately. I can sympathize with you because I struggle with my current adviser on a personal level, and often get caught up in what I perceive as really negative remarks, but I try to recognize that he probably hasn't thought twice about them. Don't let one professor turn you away from a school that sounds like it will be great for you in every other area. Also, all the problems you're worried about are years away. You will gain a lot of confidence in three or four years, get used to dealing with this guy, and feel a lot more comfortable standing your ground if he bothers you. When your body is flooded with stress hormones, it prevents you from thinking rationally. Have you gone to try to get some medication to end your panic attacks? It will be obvious to any doctor that you need a couple Xanax or something like that, and you will feel much better instantly. As long as your body is in such distress (I know exactly what it's like), you will not be able to think about this in a productive way. I hope you can get help and feel better You're right that it's too late to change now, so you can stop thinking about that. I would go ahead and let your recommenders know how you feel. I am sure they will only reassure you! They've all had to deal with difficult people, too

If I were you, I also would have chosen School A. Also, I expect that my specific research interests will change in the future and don't see them as completely definite in any way. And once you become a professor, there's no reason why you couldn't publish work in the area you love now. Good job! You made a good decision, and now you just get to relax and wait until the fall

I have problems with anxiety, so I can totally empathize with you. I will bet you anything you are just nervous about making such an important decision, not about your choice! What seems worse to you, having to decline a school you already accepted or going somewhere you truly don't want to go? I think if you really felt that you had made the wrong decision, you would already have made some calls. When you start in the fall, wherever you go, you won't worry about this anymore because you will find your place in your program and won't be able to picture those alternative realities so easily.

Seriously, "ending up" at some "Podunk U" is actually a highly desirable outcome for a lot of us. You want to work 60+ hour weeks for the rest of your life? More power to you. I'm at a major research university right now and I've gotten some perspective on what it's like for professors working at the top of their field. Sure, you may have lots of prestige, but the lifestyle is just not for everyone. And attending a top university doesn't guarantee your ticket to a high-paying research job. You gotta do the work, too, son.

My writing sample was only close reading (my bibliography had three sources, the two texts I used and one secondary source), and after reading this, now I'm kind of unsure how I got in anywhere. I think I would have done much better if I had waited a year out of undergrad and used my thesis as a writing sample, but luckily things worked out. I think the advice here is spot on, though, and I believe fit is the most important thing to look for. I think the main point of the SOP, aside from summarizing your interests, is to show that you have done a lot of research into their program. I also didn't mention any current scholarship anywhere in my application, because I, too, will have no clue what is going on until grad school. I only decided on my area of focus after taking a class the last semester of my junior year, and didn't learn a lot of the background theory and scholarship until working on my thesis, after sending in all my applications. Anyway, my point is that I think a lot of this is random, although of course it's a great idea for you to strengthen your application along these lines. But I wouldn't feel too down about it, you know? Though that is a great line from Didion. As for the GRE scores, I think they can be helpful at demonstrating certain things, like, I got a 730 on the subject test, which I think might have helped make up for having no clue about theory, since I do have a really broad knowledge of the "canon." I also had that problem of all my professors telling me "oh, I recommend Princeton, and UVA" when I asked them where I should apply. Sticking to the top of the rankings is just ridiculous, in retrospect. Also, I've noticed some programs seem to prefer students with an MA, some prefer students with only a BA (I think Michigan comes right out and says this on their website). That might help?

Going to IU Bloomington to study Victorian lit. I couldn't be more excited!

I think the most you would ever need might be proof of income, apart from ID and previous references and all that.

Comcast is unfortunately the only option these days. I pay $60 a month for internet only, but I have Comcast's fastest plan. Maybe it's time to try "that kind of living."

I turned down one of my offers extremely early -- if you already know your decision, I would recommend saying no asap only because you will feel SO much better when the decision process is entirely, entirely over.

I found my apartment on Craigslist, which is pretty active. Right now I'm renting from a management group called Hornig Companies that I can highly recommend -- they have a ton of apartment buildings in different price ranges and have always responded quickly to any problems. Many of their apartments are in Uptown's Wedge neighborhood, but that's a 5 minute bus ride to the U. Their site has a list of all their open ads on Craigslist: http://www.hornigcompanies.com/ DO NOT RENT from UPI (Uptown Classic Properties). I read one horrible article about them in the City Pages, and if you look up reviews of them online, they're just awful -- terrible management, building condition, bugs, etc. I just found a blog (http://upirenters.wordpress.com) that has more details.

E. Where are you going to write the best dissertation possible? Quality work is what will get you a job, assuming the school you choose already places students effectively. Go for it!

Yeah, but if the poster already had the qualifications to get into a top program, I doubt a Fulbright grant would make his second application anything but stronger. However, I missed that it was a teaching and not research grant, which I think might not be seen as equally impressive, depending on the program. I still don't think it's that obvious of a choice, though, depending on what the poster's interests are.

Oh, I totally missed the ETA part (I just looked up what that entails -- not familiar with any of the Fulbright awards). Maybe ask a professor? It seems like it would be a cool opportunity, but I can see why you wouldn't want to be potentially kicking yourself a year from now.

If you do the Fulbright, you will have no problem reapplying successfully, from what I understand

I don't know, to me there seems a pretty big difference between being a professor, writing grant proposals and trying to get articles published, versus finding out whether or not you get a chance to ever be in that position. I doubt I am going to dislike being a professor just because I disliked experiencing months of intense anxiety about even having the option to enter this career path. I did actually enjoy taking the Literature subject test, which I think officially makes me a sicko.

Research? It sounds lame, but I really did agonize over this my junior year of undergraduate school, especially since I am married to someone writing his dissertation and have fewer illusions than most about the magical world of academia. There's a reason (well, an infinite number of reasons) that everyone you talk to about being a professor always says "you don't want this job." I had actually settled for sure on applying for an MA in library science and trying to get a job as an archivist or academic librarian. It wasn't until I was actually filling out MLS applications in October that I went through a fundamental crisis when I realized that all I really want to do is read and write and critique interpretations of literature. That's the job I want more than anything that comes with it. My SoP is less good than I think it could have been, since I didn't really articulate the interests that are mine now. I did manage to work in a joke about Frankenstein and global warming. Anyway, it definitely was not so fancy as that sample and was exactly one single-spaced page long. As far as humility goes, personally I worry that I won't be self-promoting and competitive enough in the future. I'm that person who just gets along with everybody. Hopefully that has its own advantages in academia, too.

I'll be flying in from Minnesota early Thursday morning and staying until early Saturday morning.

Man, this has so been on my mind this entire application season. To bowdoinstudent, I'll say that waiting until April to let your emotions corroborate what you already know doesn't sound like the best use of your time. Don't you want to start preparing for next year? I found out that August leases in the university town I'm moving to are going fast, and I'm glad I was able to send out an application this afternoon. You have the luxury of being able to make a difficult decision now. Don't force others to make equally difficult decisions on April 15th.

I think you should trust your professor, maybe ask a few other profs their opinions. The US News rankings are from a few years ago and who knows what kind of recent changes may have influenced departments, let alone the flaws in the criteria they use.

Unfortunately all a graduate stipend usually provides for is being able to survive. If a one bedroom apartment is 1000+, you should probably get a roommate. I agree that it sucks that we aren't paid anything close to a living wage, but let's not have any illusions about what to expect. I'm just saying that a $20,000 stipend in Baton Rouge would be a reason to party, in my opinion. And I say that while disappointed in no funding my first year ...

Maybe try writing out the reasons you chose, like a pro-con chart, if you haven't already ... that way you can have something to refer to if you're plagued by doubt.

Wow, I'm confused! I also am almost certain I'm going to go to Bloomington, because their program is one of the best in the country for 19th century British literature. My adviser recommended it as currently a stronger department than the "better" program I got into. Indiana was also the lowest US News-ranked school I applied to, but it looks like the best for my interests, which shows how misleading that numbers game can be. I also don't understand why you think IU isn't good enough to get you a job, since it will get your application looked at anywhere, which is all that matters. Your dissertation is all you have to worry about as far as distinguishing yourself as a researcher. I have no idea why you would think a school of IU's caliber would limit you to community colleges -- did you check out their placement record? And they've got Victorian Studies as well as other awesome journals, and their library resources look stellar. So cheer up -- I'm also coming from 5 years living in metropolitan areas, but I'm excited about living in a college town like the one I grew up in. I'm adopting a dog, getting a bicycle, getting some new camping equipment, and making the most of living in a beautiful area.

I can totally sympathize with you as my academic orientation runs toward the conservative. I am a total canon nerd and I've always palled around with older professors who would say things like "it's nice to recommend someone who wants to study literature." In reality, I just don't have the theoretical background yet to know what other kinds of approaches will be useful to me. Both skills -- theoretical thinking and close reading -- seem necessary to do good work. One of my professors did once say that he thought too many academics today can't do a good close reading. Anyway, I was accepted to Wisconsin-Madison with a writing sample that was nothing but a close reading. Can't say if that means anything, though. You probably will have to do some in-depth research, calling and emailing individual departments and professors, to find out what schools will fit you best. Good luck!

Yes, I've been thinking over the past few weeks that I would have gone about the application process entirely differently when it came to picking schools. My only excuse is that I decided to apply in October, so I was really pushed for time. Ranger123, those statistics are interesting, but you're right that they're not that surprising. I'm not discounting Wisconsin at all, which is obviously a fantastic program all around.