Choosing graduate school in Math and Biology for couple

[Do Trong Thanh]

Hi all, this is my first time posting on Grad Cafe and I really need your expertise on my problem.

 

I'm a rising senior in college (Notre Dame), math major. I will apply to graduate school this year, my interest is combinatorics, graph theory, computational modelling, stuff like that.

 

My girlfriend study biology in NUS (Singapore) and graduated. She have to pay her bond for 2-3 years now, so will apply to graduate school 1-2 years after me. Her research interest is on stem cell, cancer, mechanobiology.

 

What school should I apply to now, to maximize the chance that my girlfriend and I will be close together (few hours drive is ok)?

 

By the way, I guess I can get in top 30 school in applied math, and she can also get in top 30 school in cell biology.

[TakeruK]

Your situation is sometimes called the "two body problem" in academia and if you want to find more thoughts about the matter online, it might help to google the term. Sometimes reading about others who have "found a solution" can make a tough situation seem easier!

 

But to answer your actual question, I guess this is a little bit different than the "traditional" two body problem, where both people are applying at the same time. In that case, the two of you should just apply to as many schools as possible that both fit you and hopefully there will be some overlap.

 

In your case, the first step is probably for both of you to make a list of schools you would like to attend. Then you should definitely apply to all the schools in overlapping lists. You would also have to have a deep discussion with your partner about your future together as well since this would be a big step. Consider all possibilities -- e.g. would you be willing to go to a school that was less interesting to you but better for her? Or the opposite case? Would you two rather be together and maybe go to a lower-fit school or would you two rather each go to your own best-fit school, no matter the distance? Also, the two-body problem will manifest itself again and again down the line at the post-doc level etc. so what are the plans for the future?

 

To maximize your chances of being in the same area, it would probably be better for you (since you're going first) to apply to grad schools that are in areas of high density (of schools that your partner would want to go to). I guess this is obvious. But, if she is really only applying 1 year after you, I think it might be worth it for her to check the deferment policies of the programs that she is interested in. I know that in my program, you can easily defer your admission for 1 year. It would be a good idea for her to apply to all the schools that would allow her to defer a year, and that might help you decide where to go to as well!

[Eigen]

My wife and I were in a similar situation, where she was applying a cycle after I was, and ended up starting about a year and a half behind me. 

 

What we did was each sit down and make a list of 10-20 schools we liked. Then we swapped list, highlighted any that were the same, and each took a look at our programs at the others top schools. 

 

Then we came up with a final list we were both OK with. 

 

I applied to those, and we went to visits together- most schools, my wife set up a visit to her department of interest while we were there, to feel it out. 

 

Then we took our options, and sat down and discussed which of the schools I got into was best for me, and had good options for her. We ended up picking a city that had several good options for her, and was my top pick for schools, so things worked out well. 

 

If you look, there are a number of areas that have multiple good schools, and that can definitely help things (North Carolina research triangle, etc.)