please critique this essay

[dicapino]

Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position

 

 

 

Proponents of this view argue that the traditional step pay system – that is, teachers’ salaries based on years in service, is flawed and bias, as it does not consider the criteria of how well these teachers do, they favour a student performance based system which they believe will bring renewed vigour into the profession, and improve the standard of education. But still, teachers’ pay should not be fully based on their students’ performance because of these reasons: a student’s performance is not totally dependent on a teacher; also, educators do more than make students get good grades in examinations; thirdly, such a policy will put certain teachers at a disadvantage.

 

 

First and foremost, a student’s academic performance is not totally dependent on a teacher. Teachers are only in control of students during school hours, they may teach, and give assignments, but performance also depends on what the student does with his or her time when away from school . Students will do well academically by spending extra time on their studies, and this is only possible if there is an enabling environment at home to study, and also if parents put interest on their kid’s academics. For instance, the poor academic performance of a kid that plays video games after school hours consistently cannot be put on the teacher.

 

 

Furthermore, the prompt creates the notion that a teacher’s duty towards student is simply to make them score good grades. From my experience, teachers do more than this, it is from school students learn morals, how to behave in public, how to be respectful to constituted authority and older persons. Especially, students who are not from good homes are able to learn from these teachers. For example, I learnt good table manners during my primary education.

 

 

In addition, teachers who work with kids that are challenged or have problems with learning will be at a disadvantage. There are communities or districts that have children with illnesses that make it difficult for them to learn at a similar pace as their well-to-do counterparts. For example, kids with brain disease will find it hard to learn and thus good teachers will be helpful to such kids. But basing salaries on academic performance may make these teachers think of their own interest, and look for better options.

 

 

Opponents against my argument will posit that such a policy if implemented will make teachers work harder, and attract people to the profession. I agree with this to an extent, but I think salaries partly based on performance will also create the right motivation in the profession.

 

 

In summary, a student’s performance is not totally dependent on the teacher, and they do more than only make student get good grades. If such a policy is implemented, teachers will respond by teaching students constrained  information- that is, just what they need to know for examinations, and I believe this may reduce the standard of learning in our schools.

 

 

 

******firstly,i like to research before i write any essay and i spend more time( sometimes days), just like to know if it is a good way prepare? Well for this essay i completed the last 5 paragraphs in like 40 mins.......i was kind of rushing.......i had to really brainstorm on the intro.  Finally @awells is intro getting there? Your feedbacks has always been helpful. Thanks

[repentwalpurgis]

Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position

 

 

 

Proponents of this view argue that the traditional step pay system – that is, teachers’ salaries based on years in service, is flawed and bias, as it does not consider the criteria of how well these teachers do, they favour a student performance based system which they believe will bring renewed vigour into the profession, and improve the standard of education. But still, teachers’ pay should not be fully based on their students’ performance because of these reasons: a student’s performance is not totally dependent on a teacher; also, educators do more than make students get good grades in examinations; thirdly, such a policy will put certain teachers at a disadvantage.

 

 

First and foremost, a student’s academic performance is not totally dependent on a teacher. Teachers are only in control of students during school hours, they may teach, and give assignments, but performance also depends on what the student does with his or her time when away from school . Students will do well academically by spending extra time on their studies, and this is only possible if there is an enabling environment at home to study, and also if parents put interest on their kid’s academics. For instance, the poor academic performance of a kid that plays video games after school hours consistently cannot be put on the teacher.

 

 

Furthermore, the prompt creates the notion that a teacher’s duty towards student is simply to make them score good grades. From my experience, teachers do more than this, it is from school students learn morals, how to behave in public, how to be respectful to constituted authority and older persons. Especially, students who are not from good homes are able to learn from these teachers. For example, I learnt good table manners during my primary education.

 

 

In addition, teachers who work with kids that are challenged or have problems with learning will be at a disadvantage. There are communities or districts that have children with illnesses that make it difficult for them to learn at a similar pace as their well-to-do counterparts. For example, kids with brain disease will find it hard to learn and thus good teachers will be helpful to such kids. But basing salaries on academic performance may make these teachers think of their own interest, and look for better options.

 

 

Opponents against my argument will posit that such a policy if implemented will make teachers work harder, and attract people to the profession. I agree with this to an extent, but I think salaries partly based on performance will also create the right motivation in the profession.

 

 

In summary, a student’s performance is not totally dependent on the teacher, and they do more than only make student get good grades. If such a policy is implemented, teachers will respond by teaching students constrained  information- that is, just what they need to know for examinations, and I believe this may reduce the standard of learning in our schools.

 

 

 

******firstly,i like to research before i write any essay and i spend more time( sometimes days), just like to know if it is a good way prepare? Well for this essay i completed the last 5 paragraphs in like 40 mins.......i was kind of rushing.......i had to really brainstorm on the intro.  Finally @awells is intro getting there? Your feedbacks has always been helpful. Thanks

I would say you are spending too much time.  Research what topics are commonly found on the GRE, make a list, then forget about it.  Then apply those topics to each practice.  You're not going to have any time to research before each essay, so why do it now?  Also - the intro is the least important part.  Don't spend ANY time brainstorming that.  In fact, it should be as succinct as possible, and it should clearly state your point - which you should already have thought about before writing, anyway.  I did a 1-2 sentence intro for each of my GRE essays and received a high score.