Resume Feedback

[moyru]

The program I'm applying to requires a resume. I'm applying to Harvard's Technology, Innovation, and Education master's program.  I could use some feedback!

 

(the formatting is a bit off - I'm looking specifically for feedback regarding content)

 

Experience ALUM ROCK UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT                                   2011-Present

Teacher. Experience preparing lesson plans and teaching kindergarten, fourth grade, and a 4/5-combination class using a variety of teaching methods, including incorporating iPad technology for project-based learning and formative assessments. Facilitated technology workshops for colleagues. Coached and trained all-girls running club for 5k. Voted Teacher of the Year for 2013. Served on the Instructional Leadership Team in 2013-2014.

TEACH FOR AMERICA                                                              Summer 2011

Teacher. Selected from more than 47,000 applicants nationwide to join national teacher corps who commit two years to teach in under-resourced public schools. Participated in an intensive training program to develop the skills and knowledge needed to achieve significant gains in student achievement. Taught in a summer school program for middle school students in Los Angeles area public schools, under the supervision of a faculty of experienced teachers.                                                                 

INTERSECTIONS/FOSHAY LEARNING CENTER                             Spring 2011

Mentor.  Taught 30 high school students how to create in-depth multimedia stories. Students became proficient with Audacity, Soundslides, and FlipCam software. Developed curriculum that included advanced sound design, filming and editing techniques. Collaborated with staff supervisor to coordinate equipment logistics. 

USC la curacao Academic Achievement Program   2007-2011

Mentor.  Conducted monthly college preparation, life skills and leadership workshops at under resourced local high schools. Mentored students one-on-one through the college application process including applying for financial aid and writing personal statements.

 

Education Loyola Marymount University                                                  2011-2013

Multiple Subjects Teaching Credential
Masters in Urban Education, concentration in Educational Policy and Administration

University of Southern California                                              2007-2011

Bachelor of Arts in Broadcast and Digital Journalism, May 2011 (Minors in Digital Studies, Interactive Media)

Awards: Honors in Multimedia Scholar

Activities: HerCampus USC, Annenberg TV News, Quidditch Club, Anime Club, Latino Alumni Association

 

Skills

Bilingual (Spanish). Web 2.0 tools. Educational Technology (apps, Promethean board, LMS). Multimedia (web design, photography, video, editing). Journalism. iOS and Windows platforms.

 

[excusemyfrench]

One thing I believe really improved my resume was to consistently connect "tasks" with "achievements." On some job descriptions you do this. But on others, like the TFA one, you just sort of list what you did. I'm sure some people approach the resume as a "list of to-do's or done-that's" generally but because you've already connected some responsibilities to their outcomes e.g. how you mentored students and they became proficient with specific software, I'd suggest you revise your other entries to fit this style. Not only for consistency's sake but I think it really showcases how you're not just doing things but doing things that have tangible, positive results. Results-oriented resumes are far superior to the "list" format in my humble opinion.

 

Oh, one more thing. Your current job description. "Experience preparing..." Just say "prepare..." No need for extra words like "experience," especially because it's super passive. Stick to action verbs to describe your professional roles.

Edited November 12, 2013 by excusemyfrench

[moyru]

One thing I believe really improved my resume was to consistently connect "tasks" with "achievements." On some job descriptions you do this. But on others, like the TFA one, you just sort of list what you did. I'm sure some people approach the resume as a "list of to-do's or done-that's" generally but because you've already connected some responsibilities to their outcomes e.g. how you mentored students and they became proficient with specific software, I'd suggest you revise your other entries to fit this style. Not only for consistency's sake but I think it really showcases how you're not just doing things but doing things that have tangible, positive results. Results-oriented resumes are far superior to the "list" format in my humble opinion.

 

Oh, one more thing. Your current job description. "Experience preparing..." Just say "prepare..." No need for extra words like "experience," especially because it's super passive. Stick to action verbs to describe your professional roles.

Thank you so much! 

[Caylynn]

One piece of advice I received from my university's career counselling centre was to include the "so what?" when creating my resume.  So, when describing what I achieved or what I did, I was told to indicate why it was important, or what skill I demonstrated or developed by doing that task - the "so what?" piece.

 

And, as previously mentioned, make sure you use strong action verbs.  Here's one list I was pointed to: https://www.recruitguelph.ca/cecs/sites/default/files/files/Action%20Verbs.pdf

[Loric]

A big part of information dumps is how they're presented.

 

I don't like your paragraph format. I want bulletpoints. I do also want that "skill/task - achievement" sort of dynamic. It would help answer the "so what?" questions. And while I appreciate your nod to your fellow faculty and staff, they're not applying. You are. I assume they were skilled or they'd not have jobs nor be in charge of you. Tell me something that makes you a compelling candidate in that space instead.

 

And btw, you put the "where" before the "what" - don't fall into that trap. What you did is always more important than where it happened.

 

What - where - when... how.

 

Mentor. (Surely there was a title that's different though..?) School XYZ They All Look The Same to Me and Most AdComms. 1673-1782.

 

-Teaching and stuff, educating the kiddos. 

-Developed their proficience and like skills in this and thats.

-Like a Boss.

 

See? Total nonsense but it makes it a bit more logical and less "oh god it's a block of text."

[moyru]

Thanks for all the feedback! I really appreciate it!

[HerrDBoo]

I agree with Loric. 

 

Not that I recruited for long, but when I did, I saw tons of resumes. Some were horrible, others were okay and few were actually good. (HAHAHAHAHA clearly I'm the most Interesting Man...though I don't like Dos Equis)

 

Bullets instead of paragraphs, make sure you are detailed yet concise, the more recent your job was the more bullet points it should have (and vice versa...unless it is really relevant to the picture you are trying to paint).

 

ALSO, consistency and grammar. Keep one style all the way through (i.e. periods at the end of every sentence or not, certain style of bullets throughout, etc.).

 

Hope that helps.

Edited November 19, 2013 by HerrDBoo