Recommendation writer backed out...

[hj2012]

So, the title basically says it all, but one of my recommendation writers just emailed me to tell me that she won't be able to write my recommendation, saying that she doesn't feel comfortable recommending me for graduate school when she feels morally opposed to sending students to Ph.D. programs in the humanities.

 

I'm obviously irritated, as I wish she told me her reservations when I asked her for a recommendation over a month ago. Guys, my first deadline is December 1st and I'm freaking out! 

 

There is another professor that I can ask, but I feel really bad doing so this close to the deadline. Did anyone have anything similar happen to them? When emailing a potential letter writer, do you think I should explain what happened (I secured a letter, but the letter writer backed out) or just not mention anything at all? I don't want a letter writer to think I'm irresponsible and didn't ask ahead of time, since it's so close to the deadline... but at the same time, I don't want to be badmouthing another professor. 

 

Help!

[rexzeppelin]

That's annoying, but at least you found out now and you still have 3 weeks, which isn't a polite window to give a rec writer, but still way better than say one week or less (which I've done) . 

 

I'd contact the professor and just say that your first writer recently contacted you saying she's unable to write a letter. You don't have to explain why. Then apologize profusely and ask if they could write you one. As bad as you feel doing this you need to do it ASAP, so your prof won't have to rush to an even greater extent.

[nugget]

I would sent out that email ASAP. The longer you wait, the less time they will have to write it. You may want to try apologizing about the lateness, but be vague and brief in your explanation for it. Make the bulk of your email be about your intentions, what you would like this person to do and if they are able and willing to do it. Give enough information to let the person know you didn't start thinking about this at the last minute so it doesn't appear to be a spontaneous decision. You could say that your reference had originally agreed but could no longer do it because of unforeseen circumstances.... something along those lines.

 

People can back out for a number of reasons (ie: poor health, death in the family, etc) so I wouldn't assume that your reference will jump to any unfavourable conclusions, especially if the person originally agreed to do it. I don't think it's too common for references to say yes then change their mind 1 month later, right before the deadline, because they didn't want to recommend you in the first place.

 

Although your situation is a bit sticky at the moment, it sounds like this person may have ended up inadvertently doing you a favour in the end - how good would her letter really have been if she decided to write it anyway?

 

Good luck!

Edited November 12, 2013 by jenste

[hj2012]

Thank you for the feedback, everyone. I really appreciate it. I'll contact a new professor ASAP.

[Loric]

I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

It'd take everything in my power to not be like..

 

"Listen lady, because you feel inadequate in your writing ability and status in academia does not give you the right to project your insecurities onto me and sabotage my application by pulling out at the last minute. I seriously hope you consider your newfound and obviously fabricated moral highground before doing anything of the sort to any other students in the future. Curse word curse word curseword. Helping people by screwing them over, aren't you a saint."

 

If you know anyone who knows her and thinks she's nutty, they're a good bet. You can then mention the old bat screwed you last minute, thus the late notice, and they'll probably comiserate.

 

But if it's someone unrelated, just ask and mention you know it's short notice - screw it, fabricate something like her moral opposition.. A school requires one more letter than you expected to need to get, so you need one more to make the deadline. (Wait, that's not a lie.. yay for careful wording!)

 

Worst case scenario, BEFORE THE DEADLINE, find out what the process is to have your app bumped back to the next semester and deadline.

Edited November 13, 2013 by Loric

[hj2012]

I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

It'd take everything in my power to not be like..

 

"Listen lady, because you feel inadequate in your writing ability and status in academia does not give you the right to project your insecurities onto me and sabotage my application by pulling out at the last minute. I seriously hope you consider your newfound and obviously fabricated moral highground before doing anything of the sort to any other students in the future. Curse word curse word curseword. Helping people by screwing them over, aren't you a saint."

 

If you know anyone who knows her and thinks she's nutty, they're a good bet. You can then mention the old bat screwed you last minute, thus the late notice, and they'll probably comiserate.

 

But if it's someone unrelated, just ask and mention you know it's short notice - screw it, fabricate something like her moral opposition.. A school requires one more letter than you expected to need to get, so you need one more to make the deadline. (Wait, that's not a lie.. yay for careful wording!)

 

Worst case scenario, BEFORE THE DEADLINE, find out what the process is to have your app bumped back to the next semester and deadline.

 

Loric, this reply made me laugh, especially your fake email. How I wish I could have sent something like that...

 

 Luckily, the other professor I contacted very swiftly replied and agreed to write my letter. Whew! One crisis averted!