Critique my SOP? (Neuroscience)

[coffeesleep]

It's kind of long, they suggested "around 2 pages". I'm just concerned some parts are too cheesy, and how to fix those. Anyways, here it is. Thanks in advance:

 

 

Dear Sir/Madam:

I haven’t always known where the course of my academic studies would take me when I started my undergraduate career at X . However, the pursuit of knowledge has always been important to me, as it is now in my decision to pursue neuroscience at the graduate level and as a career. I have always been academically-driven and wanting to find the answers to things that I do not understand is second nature to me. To have the opportunity to not only answer my own questions about the brain, but to contribute to the ever-expanding field of neuroscience in a meaningful way is exciting, and I believe I will be able to do so through a Master’s program with the Physiology department at XX.

Through my coursework at the X, I learned about the brain and gained insight into how behaviour could be explained at different levels from the synaptic level right through to gross anatomy. The neuroanatomy course I took with Dr. X provided me with a working concept of the nervous system and taught me how to relate neuroanatomical structure with function. Furthermore, the hands-on experience of working with intact brains and studying the exquisite specimens from X solidified the concepts taught in class. Here I was able to form an understanding of how various parts of the brain from the hippocampus to the prefrontal cortex could contribute to memory processes, and provided a framework to further study and learn about the neural networks that contribute to learning and memory. I also found that neuroscience was an incredibly interdisciplinary field, which had roots in many different fields. As such, my training in courses such as molecular biology, chemistry, physics, and mathematics provided a strong foundation for the more advanced courses that I would be taking throughout my bachelor’s.  

In my second year, while I was a double major in both neuroscience and chemistry, I took part in a research project in Dr. X’s lab on the activation of small molecules in systems containing Frustrated Lewis Pairs. It was my first foray into the research setting, and the challenges of moving on from unsuccessful experiments as well as with becoming very familiar with the literature in the field prepared me for my future research experiences in my undergraduate career during which I gained experience in , preparing reaction mixtures, NMR spectroscopy, and working with water and air-sensitive molecules in a glovebox. Part way through the year, I realized I had to make a decision whether I would continue on in chemistry or focus on neuroscience because of unavoidable course conflicts. Having been in my very first neuroscience course that semester, I was absolutely enamored by what I was learning. While I was interested in chemistry, with neuroscience’s beautiful depictions of neurons by Roman Y Cajal to the behavioural studies by Skinner, my decision to specialize in neuroscience was an easy one. However, I still had a research project to complete. With a project that fascinated me along with great mentorship and supervision by my professor and a graduate student, it was enjoyable completing reaction mixtures, and procuring crystals for X-ray crystallography analysis in preparation for a final poster presentation. The work resulted in two publications and an invaluable learning experience about the ups and downs of research.

Memory has always fascinated me, but my increased interest in the field was very much so shaped by the courses I had taken and the research experience gained in my undergraduate career. My fourth year project under the supervision of Dr. XX tackled systems consolidation and the neurotransmitters that influenced this process. We studied whether injecting an acetylcholine receptor blocker into the entorhinal cortex, a region important in the formation and retention of associative memories, would impair trace conditioning at different timepoints in rats. During the course of this project, my responsibilities included performing intracerebral microinfusions, perfusions, trace conditioning protocol, making electrodes, animal handling, navigating Matlab, as well as experience performing statistical analysis using SPSS. One thing that will stick with me from this project was the feeling that the hours spent were not merely work, but more akin to being one step closer to answering the questions I originally sought out to answer. There were hitches along the way, an inevitable aspect of research, but this only raised more questions I was eager to explore. With the guidance of my supervisor, my time in this lab strengthened my understanding of learning and memory, and allowed me to hone the skills and qualities necessary for research in this field.

I admire X’s internationally-recognized research programs and excellence in physiology where the training of new scientists is an important part of its success. I want to gain insight into how a milieu of neurons in the brain can both encode an experience as a memory and I think a Master’s through the Brain Research & Integrated Neuroscience platform of your department is the ideal program for my research interests and pursuing my graduate studies. I think my interest in memory aligns with the systems consolidation projects in Dr. X’s lab, particularly how his work explores the role of neurogenesis in learning and memory. Having taken a course in neurogenesis in my last year, my interest was sparked in the connection between these two concepts. I am also interested in Dr. X’s lab as my third year neuroscience lab course gave us the opportunity to perform electrophysiology experiments on aplysia nervous systems. This experience allowed me to learn the benefits of studying synaptic mechanisms of the brain from an in vitro perspective. Furthermore, Dr. X’s work in identifying the molecules involved in long-term memory as well as models for related disorders is also of interest as it investigates memory at the level of transcription and the vast pathways and mechanisms involved. It would be an honor to work with any of these inspiring scientists *sorry, still figuring out how to end this paragraph*.

I am confident that my experience in the research setting along with my previous coursework has prepared me to succeed in your Master’s program and to follow through with projects that I undertake, as I have previously shown. I enjoy the narrow focus of a research project where I can also have the ability to be self-motivated and independent in directing my own study. Furthermore, the qualities I have developed throughout my undergraduate years were not confined to experiences in the classroom, but also the array of clubs and campus groups that I participated in that allowed me to grow and hone my interpersonal and leadership skills. I believe that I will be able to contribute to both the academic and extra-curricular spheres in your department while pushing myself in a challenging environment to perform at my very best. I thrive when I am surrounded by those that share a love for what they are doing, and having the opportunity to work with the skilled and inspiring fellow-minded scientists that the department of Physiology at X has to offer will allow me to excel on the road to a career in a field I am passionate about.