Please Proofread my SOP!!

[HHHHgg]

Hello!

 

Am applying for MS degree in Survey Methodology and I have no one to proofread my SOP!! So I need some help please ... I would appreciate the urgency as my deadline is 15th January ... 

 

thanks a lot 

Dear Admissions Committee,

Ever since my childhood, I and my sister always competed on our mathematical acumen by solving intricate mathematical calculations mentally without using the calculator. Both of us were enthusiastic on demonstrating our mathematical acumen and were enjoying the triumph of solving complicated problems. Later on, that passion for mathematics was reflected on my courses selection during high-school; as I preferred to continue my studies in mathematics; rather than science or literature.

Not only during my high school studies that I selected to study mathematical courses but also during my undergraduate studies, in the Faculty of Economics and Political Science – Cairo University, I selected Statistics as my major for the Bachelor degree rather than Political Science or Economics. My decision was bolstered with my quantitative aptitude and skills, believing that such profound analytical numerical program will cultivate and develop these skills and fulfill my interest of becoming a data analyst in the coming future. 

During my undergraduate studies, I took courses which helped me learn about sampling processes, time series analysis and multivariate analysis. Also Statistical packages that taught me practical application of SPSS program through various data sizes from simple to complicated data and I also learned to carry out various types of analysis including regression analysis, factor analysis and graphical representations. In addition to these, I had a series of courses in Economics that give me great opportunity to analyze different types of data-sets.

In my fourth year, I worked on a graduation project, the project named” People’s attitudes and Behaviors towards different types of Advertisements“. Using factorial analysis on the final data, the project measured the most significant factors that affect people’s attitudes towards advertisements. During this work I and my colleague were exposed to a broad range of research experience; as we worked on setting the most appropriate tools to conduct the research.

After my graduation, I received an internship opportunity for 4 months in the Information and Decision Support Center (IDSC) – Public Opinion Center; only graduates with high potential were selected for the internship. Our tasks was circumscribed around assisting researches in carrying out studies about the Egyptian’s perception towards the main political, economic or social issues facing the society. The experience was concrete and introduced me to the tangible practice of research.  Afterwards I joined XXX for two years as a Data analyst. Working in two different departments; Retail Measurement and Consumer Research. I gained deep understanding of survey methodologies, sampling processes, and data interpretation. I developed various types of questionnaires including mystery shopping questionnaire, retail measurement and customer satisfaction and finally perform data analysis on the final data. However, due to the delegation most of data processing for the two departments to XXX in India, I decided to move to make shift to the Marketing oriented field, believing that it will enhance my career opportunities. But unfortunately, the role did not fully interest me; as it didn’t share the same interest that I have for the research field.

Now after two years of experience in both market research and marketing field. I am more determined to continue my career in research field. Although the career path in the marketing field is much easier and smoother in my country, yet I don’t want to lose the path and diverge from the career that I always strived for.  I believe that obtaining a master’s degree will provide me with wider scope on the survey methodology technicalities and give me a chance to increase my quantitative analytical skills and statistical programming knowledge to be more qualified and proficient analyst.  Moreover I plan on continuing to do my PhD degree in the same field because when I return to Egypt, I want to work on developing the surveying field in my country, as it needs more attention, especially in the governmental research centers. The governmental research centers in Egypt should needs to conduct a more concise and reliable studies to be provided to the government to assist in solid decision making. Working on developing the role of the researchers and surveying in Egypt is dream for me; it’s like paying back for my country.

I believe I need a concrete academic program that will provide me with the needed training and study to be full-fledged researcher. The Survey Research and Methodology program at University XXX provides a solid combination of both practical and academic learnings of the surveying research process. The program introduces a concrete and intense academic curriculum, moreover the different sides of practical training on surveying research process either through the internship or practicum. Finally the Gallup fellowship provides an opportunity for the graduates to apply for joining one of the advanced research centers in the world, an opportunity that many analyst would seek to boast their career and research experience. I believe that I possess the capability to perform well in the program and hope that the university will grant me a chance to join the program.

 

 

 

 

 

[m-ttl]

You might want to start with this information, with a short lead in about what you want to study.  

 

Beginning: WHAT you want to study, WHY you want to study. 

 

 

[...]  After two years of experience in both market research and marketing field, I am more determined to continue my career in research field. I believe that obtaining a master’s degree will provide me with wider scope on the survey methodology technicalities and give me a chance to increase my quantitative analytical skills and statistical programming knowledge to be more qualified and proficient analyst.  

 

I plan on continuing to a PhD degree because when I return to Egypt, I want to work on developing the surveying field in my country, as it needs more attention, especially in the governmental research centers. The governmental research centers in Egypt should needs to conduct a more concise and reliable studies to be provided to the government to assist in solid decision making. Working on developing the role of the researchers and surveying in Egypt is a dream for me; it’s like paying back for my country. [i want to pay back my country(?)]

 

 

Then talk about this:

 

WHAT you have already learned, WHERE you learned (jobs, school etc), HOW are you prepared for this program? and then end with WHY this school is a good match.  

 

 

During my undergraduate studies, I took courses which helped me learn about sampling processes, time series analysis and multivariate analysis. Also Statistical packages that taught me practical application of SPSS program through various data sizes from simple to complicated data and I also learned to carry out various types of analysis including regression analysis, factor analysis and graphical representations. In addition to these, I had a series of courses in Economics that give me great opportunity to analyze different types of data-sets.

 

In my fourth year, I worked on a graduation project, the project named” People’s attitudes and Behaviors towards different types of Advertisements“. Using factorial analysis on the final data, the project measured the most significant factors that affect people’s attitudes towards advertisements. During this work I and my colleague were exposed to a broad range of research experience; as we worked on setting the most appropriate tools to conduct the research.

 

After my graduation, I received an internship opportunity for 4 months in the Information and Decision Support Center (IDSC) – Public Opinion Center; only graduates with high potential were selected for the internship. Our tasks was circumscribed around assisting researches in carrying out studies about the Egyptian’s perception towards the main political, economic or social issues facing the society. The experience was concrete and introduced me to the tangible practice of research.  Afterwards I joined XXX for two years as a Data analyst. Working in two different departments; Retail Measurement and Consumer Research. I gained deep understanding of survey methodologies, sampling processes, and data interpretation. I developed various types of questionnaires including mystery shopping questionnaire, retail measurement and customer satisfaction and finally perform data analysis on the final data. 

[...]

I believe I need a concrete academic program that will provide me with the needed training and study to be full-fledged researcher. The Survey Research and Methodology program at University XXX provides a solid combination of both practical and academic learnings of the surveying research process. The program introduces a concrete and intense academic curriculum, moreover the different sides of practical training on surveying research process either through the internship or practicum. Finally the Gallup fellowship provides an opportunity for the graduates to apply for joining one of the advanced research centers in the world, an opportunity that many analyst would seek to boast their career and research experience. I believe that I possess the capability to perform well in the program and hope that the university will grant me a chance to join the program.

 

 

I'll let someone else edit the grammar content and so on -- it needs a strong editing and I don't have time to help at the moment, but I think the entire beginning -- about your childhood (absolutely no one would want to read beyond that) or your time in HS -- is not useful for your SOP.

 

 Get rid of the excess first, use it to talk about what you want to research, your experience, why you want to research it, why the school is an excellent fit, etc. Then go back and edit it grammatically. IMO, a SOP reads best with beginning with your research and your reasons for it (like I restructured here), which immediately lets people know what you want to do in Graduate school. Then you can explain who you might be interested in working with, or the program's benefits, then explain your college background/career background and then wrap it up with stuff that hammers home why you want to get into that program. 

Edited January 12, 2014 by m-ttl