Discouraged with PhD in English

[xyz25]

Hi All,

 

This is my first time posting here and hope you could give me some advice. I am an international student from Asia doing PhD in English (Literature) in the US. I am now ABD but find working on prospectus very challenging. Most of my friends (from the same country) in the science fields who started at the same time all graduated and I start to feel very discouraged with myself. There is also no one from Asia in my department so I feel isolated although I have nice and supportive American friends. I think about quitting several times. Right now I still keep on working. What do you do when you feel very discouraged and feel like quitting? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank you very much

[VioletAyame]

Hi there! I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but may I ask what do you think are the reasons for your feeling isolated? Is it the culture shock? The culture of the department? Your advisor? Or your dissertation work?

I've been an international student here in the US for the last 5 years and I know it can be tough at times. I was lucky enough to live in an area with plenty of international students, some from my own country as well, and we helped each other a lot along the years. Perhaps there's an international student club on campus you can join? I know that's a bit more on the undergrad side, but I imagine there are ways for you to find other graduate international students in other departments. Also look into your school's students counseling service and remember we can also serve as your virtual support group. You can PM me if you need someone to talk to.

If it's more about coursework and/or your advisor, someone in your discipline and already in grad school might be of more help.

[xyz25]

Hi VioletAyame,

 

Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate your taking the time to give me suggestions. Mainly it's just that I don't feel like I have good ideas after I read a particular text so sometimes I just really doubt myself as I try to work on my dissertation.  I am lucky to be in a very collegial environment though.  Anyway, I tell myself to do whatever I can.

 

Congratulations on your acceptance and wishing you best of luck for graduate school!

[VioletAyame]

xyz25,

 

Sorry I didn't click to follow this thread so I missed your reply for such a long time! You're very welcome. I hope you're feeling better about your work and your program now. If you're still struggling, please do check in with us here. And thank you for your wishes - I've been a nervous wreck myself these past few weeks deciding between programs and preparing to move. But it'll work out in one way or another, and I'm sure the same will happen to you

[danieleWrites]

I'm willing to bet that there is one massive difference between your dissertation research and the dissertation research your friends in science are conducting. You're on your own. You meet with your adviser/committee, and you do all of your research at home or in the library, maybe in your office, if you have one or have room or have the quiet. Your science-based friends do their research in a lab. It's not like they can cart the equipment home and do it. Labs can be solitary places, but they likely have to share lab space with others, and they have to talk about their research with people who aren't advisers, if for no other reason than to figure out who gets to use the microscope when. Literature can become a very solitary research endeavor.

I'm still doing coursework, so I still have regularly scheduled class meetings where I am involved in lengthy, mediated discussions about literature. It's exciting and its energizing. The discussions allow me to argue with my peers, debate points, introduce theories, and so on and so forth. Once I'm ABD, that dynamic that makes literature so exciting is going to be gone. I'm not ABD, I'm not even in my reading hours, when I might as well be ABD. I have that dynamic, that interaction with my peers that's specifically about literature that I'm interested in. I find that class discussion is a major motivator for me when it comes to writing papers and making presentations (in class). There's an energy there, you know?

My university doesn't have reading groups in the English department, though it does offer a faculty sponsored discussion group (they call it a symposium) where anyone who wants to can read a critical article on a piece of literature, then sit around a bar and argue with each other. This discussion happens twice a semester. I'm planning on starting a reading group for American literature, somehow, once I get the logistics worked out. There are people interested in the idea already, and I have discussed it with them enough to know about time commitment issues and to try to figure out how to work within that. It's one thing to read a book a week, plus critical articles and theory, for a class; it's quite another to do it for an extra-curricular group. Anyway. It's my hope that a strong reading group can provide that energy for me once I'm done with coursework and I've moved into reading and dissertation. It's like making sure that I have a place to brainstorm and discuss literature with people who are looking for the same kind of thing. I don't know if that will work, 'cause I don't have a group available and I'm not out of coursework, but I hope it dows.