How best to decline an offer

[mmorrison]

I need to contact a couple of schools and decline their offers. Why didn't anyone tell me how hard this was going to be?! I researched programs for months and selected departments that truly fit my interests, schools that I would be absolutely thrilled to death to attend. It didn't occur to me that I might be in the position to have to choose among them. I know they probably don't really care that much, and they know that plenty of these calls/emails are coming, but I want to be as respectful and humble as possible. Is there a "right" way to decline an offer? Is phone or email preferred? Is it appropriate or presumptuous to sound apologetic? I would appreciate any insight. Thanks!

[fuzzylogician]

You can send an email. No need to sound apologetic or tell them how great they are, how hard it was to make this decision, etc. Just thank them for the generous offer and say you have decided to accept an offer from another school. If you are emailing a POI who took some time to correspond with you in the past, thank them for their time and generosity in talking to you and say you hope to cross paths with them again some time in the future. If you are emailing a grad admin but there were also professors who you corresponded with, I would email them personally to thank them and let them know what you have decided. It's important to maintain the connections you have made during the application process.

[mmorrison]

You can send an email. No need to sound apologetic or tell them how great they are, how hard it was to make this decision, etc. Just thank them for the generous offer and say you have decided to accept an offer from another school. If you are emailing a POI who took some time to correspond with you in the past, thank them for their time and generosity in talking to you and say you hope to cross paths with them again some time in the future. If you are emailing a grad admin but there were also professors who you corresponded with, I would email them personally to thank them and let them know what you have decided. It's important to maintain the connections you have made during the application process.

Thank you, adorably inquisitive ginger cat! I have not yet chosen a school, but I am declining two offers of five. I feel like it's better to let them know as soon as I've ruled them out from among my choices. Is that a reasonable assumption?

[fuzzylogician]

Thank you, adorably inquisitive ginger cat! I have not yet chosen a school, but I am declining two offers of five. I feel like it's better to let them know as soon as I've ruled them out from among my choices. Is that a reasonable assumption?

 

Yep, once you're sure you are not going to accept their offer, I think the best course of action is to let them know so they can make an offer to someone on their waitlist. I'm sure they will appreciate knowing sooner rather than later.