Leaving a graduate program-- timeline questions?

[marigoldlee]

Hi All,

 

Complicated situation here...but could really use some advice and suggestions. My significant other and I began seeing one another about four months before I graduated from my undergrad school. He is a military officer, and while we're still relatively close (about 3 hours drive) since I've gone to grad school, he has since received orders for a location on the other side of the country.

 

This past week, he asked me to marry him (!!!), which of course is a dream come true and I couldn't be more excited. But, currently being in a PhD program, that presents certain challenges. I absolutely want to marry him and go with him to his next duty station. His next station is four years long (though there is always some probability things do change in the military), so in an ideal situation we would just be apart from one another the final year of a graduate program at another school. I have previously worked for one of the professors at a school near where he would be, and so was able to apply for a late admissions position. I have been accepted and have not sent in my final decision, but that (or another job that I have been offered in the area) will be my next step this upcoming Fall.

 

Unfortunately though, what I'm feeling like is "what do I do right now?!" I'm currently in a sciences PhD program, and am feeling a lot of pressure from my program to commit to a lab. I feel strange working to commit to a lab knowing full well that I'll be leaving by the end of summer? Should I just leave now (but I don't know what I would do then for ~4-5 months...school was my primary commitment and just finding a job on the spot for such a short term can be nearly impossible)? Should I meet with my program director and explain the situation? But could that result in my dismissal right away? Should I leave at the end of the semester, or at the summer? I just don't know....and could definitely use your help!

 

Thank you in advance!!!!

[TakeruK]

Congratulations (on both the upcoming marriage and your successful application to a new PhD program)!! This must be exciting and stressful!! 

 

Here's what I think: 

 

1. You should tell your current school as soon as you are able to do so without jeopardizing your current status (although waiting too long can hurt you in the long term too). Telling them now means that you will probably be able to wrap up whatever you're working on now over the summer and the school can plan for the extra spot you'll create when you leave.

 

2. What do you really have to lose if they dismiss you right away? It's not like if you finish this summer you can get a Masters degree right? You already got into another PhD program so you don't "need" the next 4-5 months to build up your CV for grad school either. I would guess that potentially you will miss out on 4-5 months of funding, but you can probably find another job that pays close to what they pay grad students!

 

3. What do you really have to gain if you stay the next 4-5 months? 

 

Overall, since it seems like whether you stay for the summer or not would not really make a huge difference in your career, I would think the best thing to do is to first accept the other school's (or the job) offer and inform your current program director of your plans. This way, perhaps a plan can be worked out so that no one's time will be wasted over the summer. Who knows, maybe one of the labs need someone to help out with some grunt work or something over the summer anyways. 

[marigoldlee]

Hi TakeruK-- thank you so much for both your response and your congratulatory wishes!

 

1. I definitely agree with you about informing the department/director as soon as possible. Being honest and upfront is important to me, so I think I will schedule that meeting within the next 2 weeks.

 

2. / 3. With regards to what I have to gain/lose by staying/leaving, I think this is where I am most conflicted. This is really where I had planned on continuing my studies, so I have set up my life so much here. I do enjoy the coursework that I am doing here, and above all else, I currently work as a TA and I absolutely love that! Additionally, from an unfortunately more practical standpoint, I'm not entirely sure what else to do if for some reason I was dismissed more quickly. My living situation as a graduate student is dependent on my financial support from the program, and so I'm not sure quite how that would all work. Of course, like you said, most basic jobs pay at lead what a grad. student stipend pays, but a last minute short term position can be very very difficult to obtain. I think this is one of my primary concerns. I really like your suggestion about asking if anyone has any more menial/short term lab work that might need to be done-- maybe a professor who needs an extra set of hands for a short term project , but doesn't have funding at the moment (my current funding is from a departmental fellowship, not a lab).

 

Thank you again!

[rising_star]

Ummm... are you working without a contract? Because, in all likelihood, if you're under contract and TAing this semester, they aren't going to dismiss you because they cannot easily replace you (and/or it may be a violation of your contract to do so).

[marigoldlee]

Sorry, I'm comfortable with saying semester because that's what my undergrad was on. This school is trimester- so we're technically beginning again in a few weeks.

[TakeruK]

Sorry, I'm comfortable with saying semester because that's what my undergrad was on. This school is trimester- so we're technically beginning again in a few weeks.

 

If you are on a contact and TAing next semester/quarter (i.e. in a few weeks), and if you are worried about losing your TA position, then I would say to wait until you sign that contract before you inform your department. At places where I've been that TA's are contracted, the school cannot terminate a contracted TA position unless the TA is not doing their job (even if the course gets cancelled, the school must still pay the TA). Of course, if you sign the contract and then immediately say you're leaving, this could cause some tension / burn bridges but it's something you could do if you really want to keep the TA work and pay.

 

I don't know how dependent you are exactly on getting the grad student pay, how tied down you are to your current place (e.g. on a lease?) and how much you want to continue working in your current program. For example, if they did dismiss you right away, could you just accelerate your move to your SO's place? Or visit family/home for awhile? Ultimately, it's in everyone else's best interest if you can tell the department sooner, but you are stuck here and you need the grad stipend, then I think you should put your own interests first and make sure you don't put yourself in a bad position when you tell your department!