Taking credit for your success

[yearley]

I'm 3/3 for EdD/PhD higher ed programs at GWU, UMCP, and William and Mary.

Here's my problem: instead of having a mindset of "I got this because I'm awesome," I wonder if it's because they didn't have any other better candidates or if they felt bad for me or they just needed to get a butt in the seat. Clearly these reasons probably aren't true. And I probably was admitted because my research interests aligned very well with 1 or 2 of the faculty members.

But in spite of that, I still think "they just didn't have anyone better." Anyone else have this kind of a defeatist, impostor syndrome kind of attitude? I can be proud of others but I can't be proud of me.

[unbrokenthread]

Yes. I can acknowledge that I have strengths...many strengths...but I've got a case of crippling self-doubt right along with it.

 

Although admittedly, there are two ways to flip it: one person's "they just didn't have anyone better" is another person's "i was their pick of the litter, aw yeah!" Same fact, completely different spin (and wildly different therapy bill, too, i imagine).

 

Nonetheless, you made it! Pat yourself on the back. Those are no slouch universities by any stretch of the imagination.

[aphdapplicant]

Nope! When I received my only offer (which I declined) I basked in all my (average-level) narcissism! I take responsibility for my failures AND SUCCESSES!