Changing advisors-- help!

[Phedre]

Hey all,

So I very rashly asked a certain professor to serve as my main advisor/chair... I did this without having taken a class with him, without having had feedback on papers, etc. I just thought I clicked with him well and since we share so many areas of interest, we would work well together. I also asked him about a semester before I actually officially had to name my committee.

This is turning out to a be a mistake-- although I'm not entirely CERTAIN it's a mistake. I leave meetings feeling like he doesn't listen to me, he is a bit of a bully and is pushing me to study one particular sub-field. I am very passionate about queer theory, and it will be a huge part of my dissertation, but he is trying to steer me away from it (no jobs). I am feeling like he doesn't understand me.

ALSO many of the older grad students have warned me about working with him-- that he's difficult, that he has many friends (huge networker, almost all of his studetns get great placement and great jobs) but also many enemies, etc. I feel like I've signed on to the mafia by accident! I suspect if I take him off my committee, he will be highly offended and things will be awkward and terrible. BUt if I leave him on, I'm not ure if I can grow the way that I need to grow.

That said, we've only been working together for half a semester, so I might do the "wait and see" policy instead of the "shit I made a mistake" reaction.

But does anyone have any advice? Should I be listening to the experience of the older grad students, who almost unanimously tried to steer me away from him? Should I take the difficulty of our relationship to be a learning experience-- ie I will have to be challenged to defend my love of queer theory to him, which could be good? Or should I act now and say that maybe I acted too hastily and that i wanted to get to know him better first?

Please give advice! Thanks so much...

[rising_star]

That said, we've only been working together for half a semester, so I might do the "wait and see" policy instead of the "shit I made a mistake" reaction.

But does anyone have any advice? Should I be listening to the experience of the older grad students, who almost unanimously tried to steer me away from him? Should I take the difficulty of our relationship to be a learning experience-- ie I will have to be challenged to defend my love of queer theory to him, which could be good? Or should I act now and say that maybe I acted too hastily and that i wanted to get to know him better first?

Please give advice! Thanks so much...

I would say that you can probably keep him on a committee, even if you decide not to have him chair that committee. Definitely wait and see.

It's okay to listen to other grad students, but you should also listen to yourself. People tried to steer me away from my MA advisor and, at one point I almost quit the program because some advice she gave me backfired, but she really came through for me in the end when it came to my thesis and LORs for PhD applications. I would have a frank conversation with this guy about where you see your research going. Maybe even come prepared with a written outline/memo and citations to show that you know what you're talking about and how you want to approach it. Then, take it from there.

[Phedre]

Yeah, that is good advice. It can't hurt to have a well-connected person on one's committee... the problem is that now I need to find a new person to be my chair and I'm not entirely sure who that would be :-/ But I'm only finishing up my first year, so I have time next semester to meet more profs, and also to really reflect over the summer on what specifically is important to me.

I also need to talk to other students who've worked with him on what mechanisms they use to assert their positions and fight for what they beleive in...